Large PrintHandheldAudioRating
using
 paypal
Twisting The Hellmouth Crossing Over Awards - Results
Is your email address still valid?

Shadow of the White Knight

StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking
Review of chapter "The story begins" from Jaylynn
Review:
This seems interesting way to do a redo and I look forward to seeing how it all comes together.
Review By [Jaylynn] • Date [9 Jun 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The story begins" from Rod
Review:
Um. I like the concept, but I have severe reservations about execution. The characters didn't sound right; Bat-Mite was bland, and Xander seemed stuck on "vicious snarl". It all seemed rather one-note, and the punctuation did my head in long before the end of the chapter.

It didn't help that your big explanation started like this: "This Batman the Dark Knight World’s Greatest Detective and an ordinary yet well trained man." This sentence no verb. No commas, either. The whole paragraph rather put me off.

Edit: in any complaint about spelling or grammar, there will always be at least one mistake. Sigh.
Review By [Rod] • Date [9 Jun 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The story begins" from ebony
Review:
I see you are a fan of River Song from Doctor Who. Xander as the "Dark Knight" OMG.
Review By [ebony] • Date [9 Jun 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The story begins" from Tjack
Review:
Very nice, a solid set of reasons how things came about, good writing, and a nice balance of humor & drama. It's a YAHF with none of the baggage.
All this, with the JSA as a cherry on the cake. Great job!
Review By [Tjack] • Date [9 Jun 12] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The story begins" from JonnyNapalm
Review:
Nice using Bat-mite as a starting point of the changes. Makes for a fun addition to the Joss'verse. Blending the JSA that we knew existed from Smallville is a great touch as well. Looking forward to running into Zatara at some point for Xan to learn escape artistry...and hope to find some mystic connection between the Slayers and Nanda Phurbat. Love that you're going with the Batman Beyond style for the suit... it's been one of my favorite designs since that variation of the DCU started and I love the idea of it showing up in conjunction with the Smallville universe. It'd be nifty for Xan to start looking at voting shares in Queen Industries as well as LuthorCorp... just to get him more involved with the parts of the 'verse that look like they're going to be coming into play at some point. Still, a good solid chapter for a starting position. If you're looking to bounce ideas don't be afraid to message me. I'd love to beta if you were looking for additional eyes to make sure everything's working the way you want it to.
Review By [JonnyNapalm] • Date [9 Jun 12] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The story begins" from VillageOrchid
Review:
I like that you had Xander keep his memories of his first life, it wasn't clear in Bat-Mite's terms that he would. Also not sure how Xander knows about "The Bat Cave" as it appears that Bat-Mite told him he would only have the knowledge and skills that Bruce Wayne would have had up to his current age. Did you mean to say original Xander's current age?

Overall I like the changes and how you worked them in. In mixed universe Ted Grant could have always had a gym in Sunnydale when Xander was 13, but never interacted with Xander.

I look forward to seeing how you might finess the changes. Faith might not even be called, or if she is the two might not make a baby. At this point there are many changes to come, and Xander has a little bit of time to decide how to deal with Giles and Ethan as well.

Thanks for sharing the tale!
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [9 Jun 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The story begins" from sjyu
Review:
Great start. It's nice to see do-overs with the proper resources.
Review By [sjyu] • Date [9 Jun 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The story begins" from war
Review:
Good start looking forward to your next chapter.
Review By [war] • Date [9 Jun 12] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The story begins" from (Recent Donor)tchizek
Review:
The setup is a bit forced with the bat-mite on-the-other-hand I can see bat-mite doing this kind of thing...

Lots of potential I'll be tracking this one!
Review By [(Recent Donor)tchizek] • Date [9 Jun 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The story begins" from texaswookie
Review:
well this should be interesting who know maybe Xander will tweak everyone into becming some sort of copy of various comic characters. Willow would make a good Batwoman or Oracle, the newest Batgirl is a blonde although personally I would prefer to see WW make an appearance and take the two slayers into training. Still it should be an interesting ride to see where you take it.
Review By [texaswookie] • Date [9 Jun 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The story begins" from spurious
Review:
very promising.
Review By [spurious] • Date [9 Jun 12] • Rating [8 out of 10]
start back Page: 4 of 4
StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking