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Review of chapter "'Quick like a bunny'" from karmasfriend
Wow, that was an exciting chapter! I was so sure they were going to catch her, but every time they almost had her, she got away! What an exhilarating chapter! You did an amazing job describing all the action from the different scenes! And it was so long! In a good way! Wow, no idea what's going to happen next. Looking forward to reading more.
Comments from author:
It's going to take a couple of chapters to work things around to having Dawn meet the SGC people in a non-chasing sort of way, but once that happens I think they might be able to get along... sort of? Maybe?

Glad you liked the mega-chase scene!
Review By [karmasfriend] • Date [31 Jul 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "'Quick like a bunny'" from (Current Donor)JanessaRavenwood
One comment - I rather doubt the "taser/tracker collar" would work on her. The Jumper teleporters (in the movie, at least), explicitly opened mini-wormholes for travel. Chain them up, they can't go anywhere. But the Key *bends/opens space itself* - logically, there's no reason she can't leave any restraints behind, transporting only what she wishes with her - like her clothes...and a bag of loot. :-)

If the SGC wants to contact her, I'm recommending the carrot - the stick didn't work real well for them.


To clarify, in both cases, they are bending space to travel from Point A to Point B, without traveling through the intervening space.

For a Jumper, their ability definitely has constraints as they are not, in fact, true teleporters. They essentially open up a portal from Point A to Point B and step through it (even if this does happen so quickly as to *seem* like true teleportation to the naked eye). The Paladins' tactics against them, however, reveal their ability for what it really is.

Going by BtVS canon, and your expansion of it here, Dawn's ability is deeper than that. In the show, IRIC, we not only saw portals opening, we saw areas of *transposed space*, as bits of other realities temporarily took the place of corresponding areas in Sunnydale. This very strongly implies that the Key's nature allows for *true* teleportation - outright *vanishing* from Point A and near-instantly re-appearing at Point B. A true teleporter thus *cannot* be imprisoned if they are conscious enough to invoke their abilities, as they can just leave any restraints behind.

Food for thought.
Comments from author:
I already answered you privately, but just for the benefit of anyone else reading--trust me. I LOVE digging into the details of stuff like this, and I've a very firm grasp on just how Dawn's abilities work. It's all good, really.

Oh, and I have to say, parts of the Jumper movie are painfully slow? But while digging around I saw lots of comments about the books it is based on, and that they're really good, so I've ordered the first one, to see what's in there.
Although, one good point from the movie is that Rachel Bilson is very, very cute.
....Not that that directly relates to anything, I'm just sayin': very cute.
Review By [(Current Donor)JanessaRavenwood] • Date [31 Jul 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "'Quick like a bunny'" from DearestDrusilla
The opening scene between Buffy and Dawn was amazingly beautiful. And good on Dawn getting away from Teal'c -impossible task, puh-lease!

What? no way! it's a very important part, no one ever covers the Before part of their relationship.
Comments from author:
You're the only person who's mentioned that section at all (and that includes my friend/editor/writing coach).
I liked that part a lot, even though it only sorta/kinda ties in at all to the rest of it. I'm sure that in a 'real' book that part would be/should be cut out, but part of the fun of fanfic is that you can play a little looser with the rules.

And yep; there isn't much that's scarier than Teal'c, coming at you with HIS 'resolve face' on.
Review By [DearestDrusilla] • Date [30 Jul 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "'Unlocking a different kind of Door'" from (Current Donor)vladt
what a fantastic beginning, thank you. with this start expecting great things coming. very good read.
Comments from author:
You are very welcome.
(It is much, MUCH easier to throw myself into writing the next part when I know for certain that people are reading, and liking it. So thank YOU for letting me know.)
Review By [(Current Donor)vladt] • Date [30 Jul 12] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "'Quick like a bunny'" from (Past Donor)Lupo
I thought Dawn would be bald before getting out of the mountain.....what with all the hair combing, lol.....

Thoroughly enjoyed the chapter. I actually prefer long chapters from you since it's so easy to visualize and get caught up in them. I would imagine Dawn has a busy night ahead trying to find a place to stay. Maybe even find herself discovered in Jackson's house ala goldilocks???? ;-)

Can't wait to see more...... Thank you!
Comments from author:
Don't even joke about that--she LOVES her hair.

And yep, if you've read my stuff before you know how much I hate to jump ahead, timewise. So we'll be picking up with Dawn and the SGC, respectively, very soon following the end of this chapter.

Glad you like it!

ETA: What I meant to type there was 'You've read my stuff before', because I know you have. Frequent reviewers DO tend to stick in my memory, even though I can and have managed to forget my mother's birthday :-P
Review By [(Past Donor)Lupo] • Date [30 Jul 12] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "'Quick like a bunny'" from TroyGuffey
LOVE this story.

You got the right balance between Dawn and the SGC.

As for tremorid's idea of a taser collar, even if she can't just leave it behind when she jumps, she just has to get to a hide that's out of their reach in the time she needs to recover.

Have you seen "Jumper"?
Comments from author:
Balance=Good---> Awesome.

That Taser Collar idea has freaked me the hell out, but at the same time it has me thinking....
The exact rules for Dawn's jumping are going to be (obviously) critical the story; I've already got a write up, which is growing longer as I consider the story (and comments made in reviews).

I HAVE seen Jumper... and in fact, I am re-watching it at this very moment.

Thanks for reading!
Review By [TroyGuffey] • Date [30 Jul 12] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "'Quick like a bunny'" from FanFictionDreamer
I loved reading this. Please write more soon! Looking forward to more of this...
Comments from author:
Thank you very much.
The response to this chapter has been amazing; happily writing more of it now.
Review By [FanFictionDreamer] • Date [30 Jul 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "'Quick like a bunny'" from NutsContract
... That was the awesomest thing I have ever read! I was so worried Dawn was going to get caught, but she didn't! She's a g! Looking forward to your next update.
Comments from author:
[That was the awesomest thing I have ever read!]

Okay, you have discovered the key to making me smile, lol!
I'm glad you liked it.
Review By [NutsContract] • Date [30 Jul 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "'Quick like a bunny'" from RevDorothyL
I'm loving this! Looking forward to reading more, soon! :)
Comments from author:
Thank you.
Working on more for you all.
Review By [RevDorothyL] • Date [30 Jul 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "'Quick like a bunny'" from (Current Donor)Sithspit
Wow...this chapter read like the newest Batman movie watched; it was huge, massive, and flew by like there was no time passed at all. Excellent. A few typos and such, but I'm going to have to read it again just to absorb it all. Quite the thrilling ride!
Comments from author:
Thank you for your gracious and bat-shaped praise.
::bows deeply::

I agree--too many typos (mainly omitted words). I'm really annoyed by how many there are, actually, but I was too worn out from my marathon writing session to fix them yesterday. I'll probably go through it in a few hours and try to patch as many of them as I can find.

I love that it read 'fast'. The one thing you absolutely do not want in any action scene is for the reader to be thinking 'wow, this is taking forever; get to the end already!'

Thanks again for the review.
Review By [(Current Donor)Sithspit] • Date [30 Jul 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "'Quick like a bunny'" from Glasbruch
Hmm, nice escape...
NOW begins the REAL hunt! Muharharhar!
Cause seriously? They soooo wont let her escape. They have good camera footage, so very, very soon her face will be everywhere: TV, Internet, paper, whatsit... Every dam cop in the whole US and A will be looking for her and then is there the FBI (X-Files Crossover would be nice^^), CIA, NID, the whole alphabet.
Never letting her rest, always running... till she just gives up! *cackling madly*
Comments from author:
They can't ignore the fact that she's out there, but their next move isn't necessarily so clear; working on the next chapter now, where I'll go into that.

X-files crossover....
Um. Probably not?
I watched and enjoyed the first few years of it, but was never THAT big a fan. Also, I'm already dealing with lots and lots of characters I've never written before, with the SGC crew--I'd better not try to juggle any more.
Review By [Glasbruch] • Date [30 Jul 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "'Quick like a bunny'" from ElDani
This escape scene was amazing. You didn't make it too easy on Dawnie, but she still got out in the end. I'm looking forward to the next chapter .. and when the Stargate Command meets her again, because that is kind of inevitable ;)
Comments from author:
[This escape scene was amazing]


Thank you.
And to your other comments, yes: I'm writing Dawn as being very powerful, but she absolutely will have to work to 'win' in a lot of situations. It's not really much fun to just have your main character stroll through things without breaking a sweat.
Meeting the SGC people again? Yep, completely inevitable.
Review By [ElDani] • Date [30 Jul 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "'Quick like a bunny'" from Kalliza
Awesome. I'm voting she randomly runs into Daniel and he actually *talks* to her. Or maybe she wants to rescue him? She did just escape a mystical icepick lobotomy and a uber-secure secret government facility. Plus, it's a Summers tradition, right?
Comments from author:
There will absolutely be a Dawn/Daniel conversation, though it'll be a couple of chapters before things line up to let it happen. Relatively short chapters, though, I think.

Ew, 'mystical ice-pick lobotomy' is a nasty way to put it, but... not necessarily inaccurate.
Review By [Kalliza] • Date [30 Jul 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "'Quick like a bunny'" from Hecatonchires
Thoroughly enjoyed. Especially the victory dance/doh/blink moment near the end
Comments from author:

Thank you thank you
Review By [Hecatonchires] • Date [30 Jul 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "'Quick like a bunny'" from jimk
Damn, but that's good. Love the long chapters. This is by far the most fun and interesting version of a powered-up Dawn that I've read in quite a while. Nice and very believable way to tie her into the gates and the whole SG1 cross.
Comments from author:
Thank you very much!
More chapters soon.
Review By [jimk] • Date [30 Jul 12] • Not Rated
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