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All Your Base are Belong to Her

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Review of chapter "'Quick like a bunny'" from tremerid
Review:
Well, this story is shaping up to be a good one. Nice long chappies, and good spelling/grammar. Unfortunately, I, like the General find Dawn's behavior extremely annoying... This doesn't mean I'll stop reading, just that I'm hoping she gets her well deserved spanking for her crap. Yes, there were extenuating circumstances, but she was still acting like a gigantic egotistic brat.

That said, I hope to see more of this one sometime soon.

I also see only one way to get her and keep her for the SGC at the moment. They'll have to find her, follow her at a distance that she can't detect, wait for her to sleep, and gas her. After that, they'll have to fit her with a hacksaw/bolt cutter proof solid metal ring collar equipped with both a tracking device, and a remote activated tazer unit. No locks, just a solid metal ring fused together at the ends, that way there's no lock and it has to be specifically cut off by them. Then, maybe after the fourth or fifth teleport/tazing and retrieval, she'll listen to reason.

Keep up the amazing work, and post more when you can!

Regards,

--Tremerid
Comments from author:
I'm glad you're liking the story (overall), and sorry you're annoyed with Dawn.
Unfortunately, the reason why she comes off as a brat is that... she's a brat.
With Buffy dead, and (in this version of things) most everyone at least subconsciously blaming Dawn for it, there really wasn't anyone who made Dawn grow up. Tara, probably, would have tried, but Tara didn't have the heart to be firm with her, and Dawn ran off soon after Buffy's death anyway, so it's moot.
If she's going to grow out of that (even partially), it'll have to be by associating with some new people, who can become that family/those authority figures.
Hmmm, now where can we possibly find those people...?

As for your other comments: O_O
Dude.
I mean, DUDE. That is... maybe a little.... Harsh?
Seriously.

And yet, having said that--SG:1 (the show, not the people), despite being fairly lighthearted much of the time, did sometimes go to very dark places. And so, upon reflection, I have to say....
Interesting.

In the meantime, thank you very much for your interest, and your comments!
Review By [tremerid] • Date [29 Jul 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "'Quick like a bunny'" from (Past Donor)BuffyFan
Review:
Fast paced and humorous.

You have the characters spot on.

Looking forward to more chapters.
Comments from author:
All three of your points were successful in promoting author happiness.
:-)

Thank you.
Review By [(Past Donor)BuffyFan] • Date [29 Jul 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "'Quick like a bunny'" from EricJablow
Review:
Will the fighters our Lieutenant wants to fly be called 'Zigs'?
Comments from author:
Ha!

(and, just to be pedantic, they would be more like rugged little scout planes. Of course, the universe being a dangerous place, it would only make sense to hang a couple of guns off them)
Review By [EricJablow] • Date [29 Jul 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "'Quick like a bunny'" from VillageOrchid
Review:
On the one hand, I'm glad she got out... and on the other I wonder what she'll do in the wide world that will eventually get her back to the SG1 characters. Good, long chapter. Thanks for continuing!
Comments from author:
There are... factors... that will push her back in their direction. Sooner, rather than later.

Thanks for commenting!
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [29 Jul 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "'Quick like a bunny'" from Oxnate
Review:
Really? People have never heard of 'All your base are belong to us'? I thought that was on the test to let people on 'teh internets' (sic).

Anyway, really enjoying this chapter. Was very torn between rooting for Dawn and rooting for the SGC. Keep up the good work.

EDIT: You might want to move that warning to the first chapter (or add an additional one) so that anyone who comes into the story from now on will get that warning before they get to chapter 2.
Comments from author:
I was surprised by the confusion too, but I suppose it only seems obvious if you're in the know.

Glad you were rooting for both sides; I was working really hard to show that the SGC is filled with bright, competent people. It very easily could have ended up with Dawn unconscious on the floor, she just barely managed to pull off her escape.

Edit: Yep, good idea. I'd meant to do that today, but I've been happily reading and responding to comments.
Review By [Oxnate] • Date [29 Jul 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "'Quick like a bunny'" from blazblaz
Review:
Very nice story so far I can not wait to see the next chapter to it. I do wander why they did not try a nicer approach to Dawn.
Comments from author:
Well, they ARE the military. Being nice is sort of secondary to them doing everything they can to ensure that you are not a threat to their people, their mission, or their infrastructure.
Not shooting her with lots and lots of bullets was about as much of a break as they were willing to give her, especially when her eyes are all glowy and Goa'uld-like.

I'm glad you're liking it so far!
Review By [blazblaz] • Date [29 Jul 12] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "'Quick like a bunny'" from wot
Review:
An excellent chapter - I really like where you're taking this. You've managed to get Dawn's character spot on, and the SGC as well. Keep up the great work!
Comments from author:
Awesome, thanks!
Wish I'd had more for Hammond to do; I really like him on the show.
Having that many characters 'on screen' at once makes it hard to find a good balance.

Thank you for the kind words!
Review By [wot] • Date [29 Jul 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "'Quick like a bunny'" from PATM
Review:
Now that is an adventure well told! More hints of her life before now. How out of step is she going to be? Or will she fit in. She doesn't seem the cautious type but some canniness I hope.
Comments from author:
Thanks!
To be honest I was worried that the chapter was running so long that people would be bored to tears. I'm happy to see that doesn't seem to be the case? (or maybe those people are now in comas, and therefore unable to review)

Dawn....
Dawn is probably too wild and careless for her own good. She's not brilliant, but I don't think she's stupid, either. She seems to have a certain kind of cunning which might serve her well. We'll have to wait and see.
Review By [PATM] • Date [29 Jul 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "'Quick like a bunny'" from JadeEvans
Review:
Interesting so far. It is not the first time that I have read about Willow turning on Dawn, but it is the first time reading of Tara backing her up. Poor Dawn. Losing her mom, Buffy, and then having Willow try to take her existence from her. That is just wrong.

Having her turn up at Stargate Command like she is interesting. Escaping without hurting anyone is even more interesting. What is she to do now that she is out. And who will she meet along the way. Possibly Jack's clone... Maybe meeting another teen that has 'no' connection with those chasing her would be comforting. Maybe he can get to the bottom of things without anyone getting hurt.
Comments from author:
Willow was basically just trying to turn off any and all access Dawn had to her Key ablities; NOT erase her from existence. Tara saw it as taking a dangerous tool away from someone who was abusing it, something that was serving to 'enable' Dawn to live a self-indulgent and self-destructive lifestyle. She probably thought it was all for the best.
What Dawn does next is up in the air at this point; a lot of this story is being plotted as I'm in the act of writing it, so I might be as surprised as you.

Thank you for reviewing!
Review By [JadeEvans] • Date [29 Jul 12] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "'Unlocking a different kind of Door'" from Jazzibear
Review:
What a splendid opening for a story! I love it.

I wonder whether SGC might have had more success if they had just sent Daniel (probably their least-threatening member, and certainly most Giles-like) and had him say, “Hullo, young lady: you look lost. Can I help you?”.

Of course, if he had done that, there might be less story, and probably rather a different story. As it is, we have a very high-class and very funny chase sequence, which is priceless.

I am, as ever, agog to discover what happens next. I’m sure you are going to oblige.

Oh, and thank you for explaining the title. It makes perfect sense now.
Comments from author:
[ “Hullo, young lady: you look lost. Can I help you?” ]

LOL! Well, yes, that might well have been the way to go. Although, to Jack's point, in their universe such an attempt would usually result in a Goa'uld whipping out a Ribbon Device and frying poor Daniel's brain for his trouble.

Glad you're enjoying the story so far!
Review By [Jazzibear] • Date [29 Jul 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "'Quick like a bunny'" from baduqwa
Review:
This is a really cool story. Your whole idea and implementation of Dawn using teleportation and ending up in the SG1 universe is really fun. Great job!
Comments from author:
Thanks!
Review By [baduqwa] • Date [29 Jul 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "'Quick like a bunny'" from Morgomir
Review:
Great idea. Keep up the good work.
Comments from author:
Thank you muchly.
Review By [Morgomir] • Date [29 Jul 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "'Quick like a bunny'" from GreydonCreed
Review:
I don't blame Dawn from doing her 'happy dance' once she got out of Cheyenne Mountain; I'm pretty sure that if Xander were the Jumper, he would be doing either the Snoopy Dance or a touchdown dance at the end of the tunnel.

Look forward to more.
Comments from author:
After everything she went through to get out of that place, a little excessive endzone celebration seemed totally justified.
:-)
Review By [GreydonCreed] • Date [29 Jul 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "'Quick like a bunny'" from Aenea
Review:
That was great reading. Dawn in this reminds me a bit about the girls from Touhou Project. Personification of a Concept. She's unlocked distance, what happens when she unlocks knowledge, time, identity, language, etc. Touhou Project's main character took the concept of Floating and applied it Floating above the Truth, conclusions, ideas. If she wants to eventually Dawn seems like she could lock her identity like a fidelius. Come to think of it the monk's spell probably operated off that fact as it locked her identity as the Key from most minds. Can't wait to read more.
Comments from author:
Glad you like it!
I looked up Touhou Project, but the Wikipedia entry didn't go into the Personification thing at all. It sounds interesting, but it's really beyond the scope of what I want to do here. Dawn is already going to be awfully hard for the SGC to deal with; giving her even more abilities would almost certainly make things completely unworkable.
Review By [Aenea] • Date [29 Jul 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "'Quick like a bunny'" from SmithAndWesson
Review:
A great read and perfect as far as I am concerned regarding the length. Can't wait for more.
Comments from author:
I imagine most chapters will be quite a bit shorter than this; I just didn't want to put a chapter break in the middle of the extended action scene.
Hope to have more to post soon.
Review By [SmithAndWesson] • Date [29 Jul 12] • Rating [9 out of 10]
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