Large PrintHandheldAudioRating
using
 paypal
Twisting The Hellmouth Crossing Over Awards - Results
Rules for Challenges

Jack of Hearts

StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking
Review of chapter "Bushwhacked" from Bluejello
Review:
Yay! I admit, I was kinda looking forward to Riddick showing up in the story. And Diesel is cute as heck.
Review By [Bluejello] • Date [4 Sep 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Bushwhacked" from RockyWilliams
Review:
Really enjoying the story so far.
Review By [RockyWilliams] • Date [3 Sep 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Bushwhacked" from RevDorothyL
Review:
Far from my favorite episode, also, but you made it much better! Well done.

Looking forward to seeing what happens when Riddick meets River face to face, and particularly if Riddick decides that Jayne's not a good enough husband-to-be for his 'little sister'.

In case I forgot to mention earlier, I really like the way you depict River's thought processes and speech.
Review By [RevDorothyL] • Date [3 Sep 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Train Job" from MarcusSLazarus
Review:
The idea of the events of ‘Riddick’ and ‘Firefly’ taking place in the same universe has been done before, but your twist on it is certainly original, and the dynamics you’re creating for Jack and the rest of the crew seem to be promising so far...
Review By [MarcusSLazarus] • Date [23 Aug 12] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Train Job" from Oxnate
Review:
Same disclaimer.

*Zoe let out a whistle before moving her piece on the board and taking no less than seven of Mal's pieces.* -- They were playing Chinese checkers. She didn't 'take' his pieces. She used his pieces to move her own 7 spots instead of the one it could be moved otherwise. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_checkers

*Jack could have punched him for that. He was medicating her, without even checking to see what was chemically wrong with River. "I swear to od Simon...you're a surgeon. Not a neuro-specialist. You can't make judgments regarding her mind when you're trained to reattach limbs."* -- Thank you for finally saying that. Even if I think he probably would have run the tests. I also loved that she was swearing to 'od' - god's less powerful but more involved younger brother.

*"The most I'm giving you is asprin." Simon was wearing his doctor face. "You've been through too much stress recently and it's only your third day off of a hangover."* -- Aspirin is an anti-coagulant. Not the best thing when someone has a healing wound. And the right painkiller could help her relax. I have no idea what the hangover has to do with what meds to give her. Dose her. Let her sleep it off.


EDIT: It's called the rules of chinese checkers and watching the episode. No captures.

Hangovers don't cause liver damage... Drinking causes liver damage. If you've had hangovers that lasted multiple days, then you have liver damage because you're an alcoholic. Painkillers would only add to it, yes. And Aspirin is still the wrong choice for someone who's been wounded.
Comments from author:
First: It's called house rules. Most people have them, and most times, when you're drinking, you start making your own up.

Second, and this is from personal experience, hangovers cause havoc on your liver. Either you've never been so hungover you're in bed for multiple days, in which case the most you can handle is water and aspirin, or you just don't care about the health of the human body. I have liver damage for overly aggressive pain killers and drugs, prescribed by my doctor so I could 'sleep it off'. Whoever has been telling you to drug up and pass out is killing you. Slowly.
Review By [Oxnate] • Date [9 Aug 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Serenity" from Oxnate
Review:
Don't take criticisms to mean that I don't like your story because I wouldn't bother to review if it didn't like it.

Right off the bat -- "In the five years Jack had been on board..." Not possible. As of the Episode Serenity, Inara had been on the ship less than a year. *In "The Train Job," Inara tells Book she has been on the ship "eight months now," while in "Bushwhacked," she tells Commander Harken that "(i)n a few weeks, it will be a year" since she came aboard.* Source: http://www.mts.net/~arphaxad/firefly.html

Next paragraph -- "... lifting heavy objects at shooting men from 500 feet away." 500 feet isn't that far. 300 yards (900 feet) is considered a good shot. 500 yards is considered an excellent shot.

"The pretty boy really hadn't been off dirt had he? Any spacer worth his pay knew the government didn't commandeer a ship unless theirs was broken down or they were working undercover. But Dobson looked just as curious." -- That line is excellent. Makes sense too. Great job.

And again -- ""Ain't nothin," Kaylee waved it off, "Bit of know how is all. Machines kind of talk to me. Not in the crazy 'kill all humans' kind of way."" HaHa!!! LOL

I assume Mr. Toombs got off on Whitefall. He said he was going to but you never showed him getting off. Now, I'm assuming it was Riddick in the coffin and they just got off on a planet that a ship full of Reavers got shot down on. That's going to be interesting.


EDIT: Ok, you mussed the timeline. Fine. What about Jayne now being such a horrible shot that he can't hit anything past 500 feet?
Comments from author:
Artistic license

Nothing would have worked if I allowed proper ages through, so I altered them, and the time line.

I'm really bad with distance. Overlook it.
Review By [Oxnate] • Date [9 Aug 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "One Day" from RevDorothyL
Review:
Awww! :)
Review By [RevDorothyL] • Date [9 Aug 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "One Day" from DarkTopaz
Review:
will riddick be making an appeaance
Review By [DarkTopaz] • Date [9 Aug 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Serenity" from RevDorothyL
Review:
Love that Jack and Jayne are together, and I'm also really enjoying how well Jack relates to River.
Review By [RevDorothyL] • Date [9 Aug 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Kaywinnet Lee Frye...no relation to Caroline." from RevDorothyL
Review:
I'm really enjoying this. Looking forward to reading more.
Review By [RevDorothyL] • Date [1 Aug 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Kaywinnet Lee Frye...no relation to Caroline." from Oxnate
Review:
Why would Jack be sleeping on the couch in front of the infirmary? There's unused passenger dorms and a spare shuttle open.
Comments from author:
Okay, so, this issue is actually addressed in a later chapter.

But! Essentially, Mal doesn't see a need to repair/maintain a bunk that isn't being used. Therefore, Jack takes the couch. Because she sleeps on the couch, Mal won't cough up the cash to repair certain parts of the ship; it's a bit of a cycle.

Think the catalyzer that broke in Out of Gas!
Review By [Oxnate] • Date [1 Aug 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Kaywinnet Lee Frye...no relation to Caroline." from NutsContract
Review:
Jack and Jayne? I LOVE IT!! I don't know why, but Kyra and Riddick just wouldn't work for me in this version. She's too... happy? Does that make sense? But River and Riddick *hint hint wink wink cough cough*. Nah, just playing. I don't care what you do as long as you continue with this gold!!
Comments from author:
*whistles innocently* "Oh look, squirrel!"
Review By [NutsContract] • Date [1 Aug 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Daeth
Review:
Is there more to this one? It's a crossover I haven't seen before and I quite like it. Could be a very interesting read.
Review By [Daeth] • Date [31 Jul 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Oxnate
Review:
An interesting blend of the two worlds. I'm a little surprised that Jack wasn't more upset when the docs ran her DNA... at least inside.

Tracked.
Review By [Oxnate] • Date [31 Jul 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from AnimeRonin
Review:
Interesting. Jack as Inara's sister; I have to say, she'll kinda look like her when she gets older...

I think I'd like to see more of this, if there is more.
Review By [AnimeRonin] • Date [30 Jul 12] • Not Rated
start back Page: 2 of 2
StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking