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Seasons of Change

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Review of chapter "Samsarā" from skychan
Review:
This continues to be a cruel tear jerker. I think I'll welcome the discombobulation of disjointed time just to hopefully get a little bit away from the sadness!
Comments from author:
It will definitely be more upbeat. And to quote Professor Hubert Farnsworth, good news everyone! The next chapter will be the first flashback.
Review By [skychan] • Date [26 Jun 12] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The End of the World pt 1" from skychan
Review:
I'm not sure how I feel about the time jumping warning you gave. I'll have to wait and see, as it can be done both very well and very poorly. Comics however are cool, though with a 2 year jump you somewhat loose the youth feel of putting your characters back into school… or at least it appears to me that you would. The future will of course tell us if that is true or not or even if it is desirable or not.
One little error a moment earlier you have Emma crying after reverting to crystal after feeling Jean's fathers grief, then mention she cant cry in that form when seeing her sister.

Wow, well this was a very very sad chapter. You made me blow my nose!
Comments from author:
It's not going to be as severe a time jump as it seems. The story has them right now, at 15 (Jean was 15 for 5 days before her death), most of this fic will be pretty much the summer and possibly start of the new school year. The comic's going to start the following year, mostly because I'd be stuck trying to cram far too much story into a much shorter time frame. So that way, Emma's going to be a end of the year Sophomore, or a early Junior at the beginning of the story.

(also, less of a mistake more of Emma not realizing her perfect diamond form still has feelings, plus she was defense mechanism shifting mostly to block out the psychic noise)
Review By [skychan] • Date [22 Jun 12] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Death is a Lonely Place" from skychan
Review:
Wow, I have to say that the picture really does more to settle the tone of the story than anything else. It's just so perfect for the writing that I have to give kudo's for the artist. The rest of the world took a little while to come into focus as this particular iteration of the school and its students comes into focus. As at first my natural inclination is to think of Emma and Jean as teacher age rather than student. Once past that, into the shock of the sudden deaths, so rarely recognized or allowed in a comic world, I admit to being fully enmeshed in the story. It's quite a short little tragedy here, and perhaps the kernel of a much longer story about the phoenix and more. I like it.
Comments from author:
Actually, Lexi both wrote most of this chapter and did the artwork for it.
Review By [skychan] • Date [19 Jun 12] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The End of the World pt 1" from Meneldur
Review:
An interesting chapter. I've got less to say about it, mostly because there's just less, as I felt it. We get a look at some of Emma's relationships - especially of note is the one with her father, which in the comics always seemed to be problematic. It's nice enough, but not much more beyond that. It 's just... it's too good at conveying the actual feelings Emma's in. I see the whole thing from her viewpoint, and you just feel the apathy pouring off in waves, except when she's having some kind of emotional interaction, for example with her father or Jean's parents. So it's great in that respect, because we can really feel what Emma feels. But it means that I feel about the same regarding the chapter - it just can't compare to the grief Emma is feeling, and becomes so much background noise.
Comments from author:
Thank you, I kind of wanted it to be a bit "muted" compared to the end of chapter 1, mostly to reflect Emma's numbness.
Review By [Meneldur] • Date [17 Jun 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The End of the World pt 1" from Raider
Review:
another good chapter!

you post it, I will read it.

keep it comin.
Comments from author:
Thank you, there's more on the horizon.
Review By [Raider] • Date [15 Jun 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The End of the World pt 1" from Raider
Review:
another good chapter!

you post it, I will read it.

keep it comin.
Review By [Raider] • Date [15 Jun 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The End of the World pt 1" from Harry
Review:
I recognized many at the funeral. Cap, Shellhead, Ms. Marvel, and many others. But its Betsy who is offering Emma the strongest support. And that gentleman that was there? Perhaps Death in human form.
Comments from author:
The crowd was those mentioned as well as; Bobbi Morse (Mockingbird), Clint Barton (Hawkeye), Scott Lang (Ant-Man), Bill Foster (Goliath) and Janet van Dyne (Wasp).
Review By [Harry] • Date [15 Jun 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Death is a Lonely Place" from Chikageko
Review:
Interesting... especially since in every, and I mean EVERY, official version of the xmen that had the pair of them they absolutely despised each other within the first few chapters.

Also darker than I'm used to seeing from you.

Still, accepting the Sheer Number of hairbrained dues ex's needed to make the slightest of what i understood from this one shot possible, it was a good rabidplotbunny.

Edit one; ...Not thatis an interesting bit ofinformation. No, where igot the idea that this was a one shot was that youhave a few of them and i couldn't see how you could possibly montinue the story. Perhaps i'm not imaginative enough in the right ways, but there's very little apperent set up or direction even when one knows a fair number of the base frame plotlines.

You could do it, I just can't see where it will go or how it would work.
Comments from author:
Yeah, well, when your lesbian sister who lost her first great love writes something (please note the cowrite status and the percentage of work done by each of us), it tends to A.) feature lesbians and B.) feature loss. It's also not a one-shot; given it's not marked complete, I don't know where you got that idea from.

Also, you know what's even more interesting? That Grant Morrison originally intended to make Jean and Emma a canon couple and began writing the prelude for it. The 'psychic affair' that gave rise to Emma and Scott's relationship actually had an entirely different ending in his original drafts of the arc, but homophobic editorial staff at Marvel refused to let him use it. So... it's really not that hard to imagine, when you know that the writer who wrote some of their most significant story arcs wanted them to be together.

EDIT: Well, I assume my sister does have an idea considering she's got something like half a dozen chapters outlined at this point.
Review By [Chikageko] • Date [15 Jun 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Death is a Lonely Place" from dwnstr
Review:
Which version of Jean and Emma is this? Can't think of anywhere I've seen Jean and Emma as students at the same time while Scott and such were teachers. Or is this just completely AU? Not that I care if it is completely AU just curious, either way anything that gets both of them away from the d-bag they both end up with in cannon has to be considered a good thing... and bonus they end up together.


edit: saw mention of a comic in one of the author responses, that would be really cool. I'd definitely read it if Lexi decided to put one out.
Comments from author:
This was written to test the waters of a concept; Lexi didn't want to commit the energy to a comic (which is more than you think, when you're doing it all yourself) until she knew what people thought of her idea. There will be a few more chapters of the story because she's actually getting into this, then a time skip in-universe, then the comic will begin.
Review By [dwnstr] • Date [12 Jun 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Death is a Lonely Place" from Elfanyan
Review:
Damn. I just started crying. That's a good thing by the way, it means your story was good enough that I forgot it was just a story and fell into this brilliant little world you made. I'm not sure if I can say I love it as I'm tearing up but I can type it.
Comments from author:
Lexi says, and I quote, "I'm amazingly flattered".
Review By [Elfanyan] • Date [11 Jun 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Death is a Lonely Place" from Ferret
Review:
Well done, indeed. I look forward to more of Lexi's work.

I'm not generally a fan of third person present - it tends to be awkward at best - but it fits the tone of the latter half so perfectly that I can't help but applaud.

Also, in regards to Mmooch....have you asked her if she is familiar with the term "martinet?" There's a reason nobody likes them.

EDIT: Having now read the review in question...yeah. Besides, your original intro, if I recall, stated that you were posting the story on her behalf, at her request. Rule 9 (as I read it) doesn't even TOUCH on that situation.

As to the 3rd Person Present - it's great when you're trying to capture that disjointed sensation you get when your instincts and your consciousness are moving at different rates or in different directions, but generally reads like you couldn't decide between 1st person present and 3rd person past and decided to compromise. So when I first started to read, my immediate reaction was along the lines of 'ergh...'

HOWEVER. Lexi made it work without the usual 'hack job' feel, and it's almost a perfect fit as soon as the vans hit the gate. My hat's off to her. Much better than my abortive efforts. (I can edit or flesh out, but I can't write for crap.)
Comments from author:
It was honestly a bit strange for me to wrap my head around when I was working with her, but it's what Lexi wants to do so I'm not gonna force her to write like me. This is her thing, you know?

As for mmooch, as I pointed out to her, there's a report button. If she genuinely thought there was a problem at hand? She coulda used it. On the other hand, this is a girl who bugged me several times as she approached my review total and then surpassed it (including a period where I wasn't writing at all because Lexi was in the hospital), so the fact that she starts poking at me on a day when I get 50+ reviews in under 48 hours? Kiiiinda speaks to her true intentions.
Review By [Ferret] • Date [10 Jun 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Death is a Lonely Place" from zEROfrustration
Review:
"Don't make me force you into letting me see her, sir. It would make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry."

Loved that part :D
Comments from author:
As Lexi put it, it worked well. No hollow threats, just Emma trying to contain her anguish.
Review By [zEROfrustration] • Date [10 Jun 12] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Death is a Lonely Place" from SnakeFox
Review:
Aww, that was ridiculously sad! Very well written. I didn't get the nickname Emma kept calling Jean, it seemed kinda weird and out of place, but that could've just been my not-extremely-intimate familiarity with the X-Men universe.

Hope there's gonna be more! :)
Comments from author:
EDIT: Removing that particular spoiler and going to "Lexi says that the origin of the nickname will come in a future chapter". Might be next chapter, since she was working on Ch2 when she said it, or it might be further in.
Review By [SnakeFox] • Date [10 Jun 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Death is a Lonely Place" from Stardust
Review:
A slightly different style from what I've seen from you before. I liked it, at some points I admit I wasn't sure what was going on but I did enjoy reading it. Chances are I will probably re-read the chapter again just for the heck of it and for better comprehension.

Edit - Hence the slightly different style starter. I could see where she was creating the images with words, even if it was in part assistance from you. I think she's done quite well for a visual artist transitioning into a more word oriented field.
Comments from author:
As pointed out in the top matter, it's a cowrite initiated by my sister. She did the initial concept and write-up, with me contributing beta services and then adding about 1000 words of descriptive imagery and such. Lexi is a visual artist, and so she's still adjusting to the fact that when you do prose, it's not like a comic script. There's no series of images telling the story behind her dialogue, so it needs to be completely written out.

EDIT: I know, right? I wanted to give her most - if not all - of the credit because as you pointed out, it's a very different style and I think she deserves it. But no, couldn't have that. So... whatev. What is, is.
Review By [Stardust] • Date [10 Jun 12] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Death is a Lonely Place" from Musicalife
Review:
*sniffs, almost crying*
Comments from author:
Was my reaction when my sister tossed me the initial file, pretty much.
Review By [Musicalife] • Date [10 Jun 12] • Not Rated
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