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Family Duty

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Review of chapter "Chapter Two" from SarahLou
I really like the idea behind this story, and I'm interested to see what happens next. If you don't mind a bit of con-crit though, the writing could use a little tidying up - it's a little hard to read, with far too much explaining of who's who and what's what too quickly...instead of flowing easily, it reads more 'this is this, that is that', if that makes sense? Like I said earlier, I do really like your idea and I want to keep reading, but in it's current format that's easier said than done. I'd be happy to offer to beta it for you if you wanted a hand tidying it up?

Sarah x
Review By [SarahLou] • Date [2 Sep 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Two" from serenityselena
interesting plans...
looking forward to read more ^_^
Review By [serenityselena] • Date [2 Sep 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Two" from ThePureOne
I love this story so far and the fact that Buffy and Dawn might be mutants it'd be nice to see them with power ups of some kind because Even tho I always loved willows super witch thing I always thought with her there what's the need for a slayer? It kind ticked me off ...hope u update soon
Review By [ThePureOne] • Date [2 Sep 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Two" from ranlynn
Well, Hank and Company are in for a surprise when the mayor turns into a giant snake aren't they. Don't think even they could be chocked that up to him really being a mutant.

edit: damn, forgot about mutant island.
Comments from author:
Why not? They've fought entire islands that were mutants before, what's a giant snake in comparison?
Review By [ranlynn] • Date [2 Sep 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Two" from cmdruhura
So, does Cordy jump out of a cake and say "Surprise!"?
Comments from author:
I think those are mainly used for B-days. Besides Hank already knows he has daughters. Besides don't you think a 60 foot + snake growing out of a six foot man is enough of a surprise for anyone?
Review By [cmdruhura] • Date [1 Sep 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Two" from SilverMidnight
Love the story so far, I like the twist of having Hank McCoy as their father, that is not something I have seen before. I can't wait for more of the story.
Comments from author:
I think that's why the challenge drew me in. It was fresh and different look at the family kind of fic. Its almost always Scott, Logan, Jean, Sabertooth, Magneto, or Xavier that have the biological connection to one of the Scoobies. This is something of a reminder that there's some 100 odd X-Men out there for them to be connected to.
Review By [SilverMidnight] • Date [1 Sep 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Two" from Greywizard
Okay, this chapter has just sent my interest in this story out the freakin' roof!!! ;-)

Hank McCoy as Buffy Summers' father is a simply incredible idea!!!! ;-)

I like how you've arranged things to show the Council has interfered in their child-parental relationship, so that that's simply one more thing that Buffy's going to hold against the Council, once she learns about it.

I am now eagerly waiting to see how things develop at Graduation, and am expecting to see all of the Scoobies assume that Hank is simply some sort of demon, who's either trying to play mind-games with Buffy, or that he's simply trying to get her to shift sides in the human-demon conflict.

I *love* this story, 'wookie, and I'm recommending it right now!!
Comments from author:
As always I love getting reviews from one of my fave writers wizard. It means I must be doing something right. You've also given me some new things to consider with asking about reactions. I might have to extend it a bit now.
Review By [Greywizard] • Date [1 Sep 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Two" from AllenPitt
which makes one wonder if Dr. W-Pryce (Maybe Wesley's dad?) doctored the test results ; maybe Dawn or even Buffy really are mutants; but since Buffy was the slayer, the Council didn't want Hank/the X-Men to interfere with them?
FoH? Joyce? Ouch. But that would explain her extreme reaction to Buffy being a slayer at first. She does seem to have adjusted to it by now. Maybe...because it's magical, not genetic?
Does Giles know about Hank? I'd be surprised if the Council doesn't know. But they might have decided not to tell Giles. Hm. Is Willow really a witch? Or a strong telekinetic & just thinks it's magic?
Comments from author:
Yeah I was going for someone fixed the test results scenario.
As for Joyce and the FOH it has a few more implications I think you might find interesting later on. Also remember Buffy has noted herself as a freak before. One of the FOH favorite slurs is Mutant Freak. If her mom supported pure humanity then it may explain in part why she hates her powers so much. In her home people with powers were considered wrong.
Giles I'm still deciding how he'll go as for Willow yeah she's a real witch.
Review By [AllenPitt] • Date [1 Sep 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Two" from Valandar
Interesting... On reading the first chapter, I expected Hank to answer the phone just to pass it off to "Buffy's cousin, Scott", as usual. I never connected Hank, Buffy's father, with Hank McCoy, myself. :D
Comments from author:
To many of those, besides this is an answer to a challenge and that is the main point.
Review By [Valandar] • Date [1 Sep 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Two" from (Current Donor)mmooch
I like that you had them consider the fact it might be a trap (not by Buffy but by one of their enemies) to capture Hank or one of his family, so he gets support/back-up. Wonder what the X-Men will make of vampires and a Mayor-turned-60 foot snake.
Comments from author:
hey it'll be a graduation to remember that's for sure. Besides the best way to know where the X-Men have been is to follow the trail of destruction.
Review By [(Current Donor)mmooch] • Date [1 Sep 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Two" from Harry
Sounds like both sides are going to be shocked when things hit the fan. Buffy, finding out that her father is none other than Dr. HANK McCoy of the X-Men, and Hank for finding out that one of his daughters is the Slayer, and the other is a dimensional force that someone wants to use to destroy our dimension so she can go home! And I shudder to think what Joyce is going to say about all of this!
Comments from author:
When Hank finds things out we'll see. As for Joyce well she's not going to be happy not one bit.
Review By [Harry] • Date [1 Sep 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Two" from JasonBarnett
in most cases in a divorce the child doesn't change last names.
Comments from author:
Joyce never changed her last name in order to better protect herself and the children. This way they would still be referred to as Summer's.
Review By [JasonBarnett] • Date [1 Sep 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Two" from Iceflame
Might be interesting, to see when they see the very BIG 'celebration' about to go down >:). Could Buffy be a mutant?? That would be VERY interesting :). At the least her life will never be boring when Hank's world's villains realize he had a few kids!!!
Comments from author:
Nope that it won't. The normal life is just not in the cards for her.
Review By [Iceflame] • Date [1 Sep 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Two" from (Recent Donor)tchizek
Ah how interesting - Buffy doesn't know who Hank is, and Hank doesn't know what Buffy is...this should be...exciting.

Great chapter!
Comments from author:
Yep it does make things more intriguing. Oh my stars and garters it does
Review By [(Recent Donor)tchizek] • Date [1 Sep 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Harry
If Buffy is making a call to the East Coast, and Hank McCoy is answering, then the person Buffy is calling is probably Scott. Which means a trip to the Xavier Institute in New York State. Now, lets see what the reaction of the family is to this.
Review By [Harry] • Date [1 Sep 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
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