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The Slayer of Harrowstone

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Review of chapter "Chapter Sixteen" from DesitaniaF
Review:
aww man, I'm loving this story. I don't want it to end :(
Comments from author:
Well, I'm planning a coupla sequels, although they aren't next on my writing docket, but I'm still plugging away at them. I'm glad you liked this, and thanks for the review!
Review By [DesitaniaF] • Date [2 Nov 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Sixteen" from Drake
Review:
So the big bad is dead.

The gamer in me wonders if Kendra levels again and if Buffy has leveled by now... but it doesn't really matter, does it?

The story fits very well. I'd go so far and say your take on Harrowstone is better than the original. Although I would have expected creating something like Harrowstone to be beyond Annika's powers. Then again, she wouldn't mention how much money she spend on scrolls to make it happen. I do wonder what spells Kendra finds in her spellbook and if there are any useful magical items on her; I can't see a vamp that powerful without some stat booster and magical protection.

I do wonder what story they will tell the people of Ravengro and how they react... dozens of them died because Annika wanted revenge against Buffy.

I really liked the description of the Phantasm killer. That was great. And Buffy coming to terms with what Willow did was a positive surprise. I do wonder what Kendra will make of the Hellmouth and if she can help Willow master her powers... or would Willow be a psion? On another note, would Buffy bring a Raise Dead scroll along? Dawn might be beyond help, but Tara might not be.

I'm very curious where you will take the story from this point. Thanks for sharing.
Comments from author:
Buffy's level isn't very important, but keeping track of Kendra's always will be -- I need to know her spell list, after all.

Thank you! As for Harrowstone, things were already there -- a ghostly powder keg: she just needed to remove the Warden's ghost from the equation and watch the chaos unfold. She's an old and powerful vampire, so she noticed the signs, studied the place, and figured out exactly how to exploit it. The rest was just kicking back and watching the chaos. Unfortunately for Kendra's spellbook, Annika was a sorcerer, so she didn't have one.

Knowing that it's not only over, but over forever will make the people of Ravengro happy. They aren't like people from our world -- they're used to monsters killing off some of their people from time to time. It's actually weird for them to have a problem go away for good.

Yeah, I really thought though how that should work, and discussed it with my sister on IM for a while (she's a huge Buffy fan), and finally I settled on that. I always intended for Buffy and Willow to come to terms -- it's still going to be very awkward, and take a long time to work things completely out, but Buffy is now ready to try. After Buffy's experience, she's going to be pretty leery of raising the dead.

Thanks for the review!
Review By [Drake] • Date [2 Nov 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Sixteen" from war
Review:
Hell of a way to make a paycheck but at least Buffy is good at her job.

Good story looking forward to your next chapter.
Comments from author:
She is indeed. Thanks for the review!
Review By [war] • Date [2 Nov 12] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Sixteen" from grd
Review:
Very well done! Best battle scene i have read in awhile. Love that Buffy finally got even with the vamp. Her Slayer side hopefully gained much experience from this enounter. Shiny. Still snickering.
Comments from author:
I'm glad you liked it. I had been daydreaming about that fight since the first battle with Annika, so I had a good idea of how everything would go by the time I finally got around to writing it. And Annika really needed some good payback after everything she did!

It is definitely hard to have a melodramatic moment if your opponent names their weapon Mr. Shiny. Thanks for the review!
Review By [grd] • Date [2 Nov 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Fifteen" from SamTurner
Review:
You are indeed wicked to do that to us.Now we must be sure to keep our eyes out for the next chapter.
Ah ha,so that is your plan.
Comments from author:
I try. I'm sneaky that way. Although, having read so many fics that were abandoned on a cliffhanger, I've sworn I won't do that at least.
Thanks for the review!
Review By [SamTurner] • Date [30 Oct 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Fifteen" from DesitaniaF
Review:
I am loving this story more and more as it continues. keep it up!
Comments from author:
Thanks! This is a pretty new experience for me, so I wouldn't be surprised (heck, I'd be pleased) if my quality has improved over the length of the story. Hope you like the rest, and thanks for reviewing!
Review By [DesitaniaF] • Date [30 Oct 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Fifteen" from Drake
Review:
Buffy really should not be allowed to name things. Ever! LOL!

Looking through the adventure, I see they missed the ring at the end. I guess they were not curious enough to look around the room for more magic. Too bad. It would be useful.
Another thing I noted was that they were pretty bad adventurers and did not loot the place, leaving the armor in place. Even if they don't use it, it's worth money. I would have expected them to load the lot into the bag of holding before they left... maybe even swipe the whole place once more for things they might have missed before heading back. But I guess they were both exhausted and unused to 'proper' adventurer behavior. :)
I'm not certain Buffy is aware of it fully, but a gold piece is about a third of an ounce, so at 2002 prices one gold piece is about $110. So bringing back lots of gold could help her financially, and she should be aware of that. Given how short she was on money for the last year I would figure she cared at last a bit about that...

Hmm... when Buffy broke the gate, I had expected some kind of reaction from Kendra. It's one thing to know how strong your friend is, but to see it like that? It must have looked impressive. Oh, and I also note that Buffy stopped protecting her hand during the fight and used it without hesitation to climb up from the basement.

Cliffhanger... I wonder is that Willow 'rescuing' Buffy, Dawn returning Buffy to whence she came, or the Vampire back for revenge? I can't decide which would be more interesting.

The combat scene was well written, but you overstated the undead bane arrows; yes she only has two of those, but it doesn't need to be brought up twice. I don't know if it was just me, but I found it... annoying.
Then there are magic missiles... I'd have thought that Buffy had at least some understanding of magic by now. She'd been attacked by the spell before; I'd have Kendra tell her that attempts to avoid the spell are useless. It seems odd she keeps making that mistake. Not sure it really is unrealistic, but it still seems odd. Maybe it's because I know the mechanics of the spell, maybe because I've known for so many years.
And didn't Buffy read up on ghosts in the books at Kendra's house? Or ask Kendra about the basics of ghosts? It seems... unrealistic that she does not know that magical weapons can always hurt a ghost, even though much of their effect is wasted.
Lastly Kendra should not be level six. Not a good level for wizards, but not too bad either. I do hope we see more of her.
Comments from author:
Yup. And she's not just joking either. Mr. Shiny the magic sword will slay much (embarrassed) evil:)

Yeah, they missed several bits of treasure here and there. Not being adventurers, they didn't think to be as thorough as they should be. As for gold... yeah. She already has some, and she'll get more for her efforts here. She will have a nice surprise eventually.

Maybe I should have mentioned her being surprised, as she knew but hadn't seen her friend doing such a major feat of strength like that. As for the hand... she's tough, and Slayers heal fast. I decided as long as she didn't put too much strain on it (such as lifting her max lift, or breaking something, or punching someone with it) she would be alright after the healing potions. Especially after the second batch after killing he ghost.

It is one of those options, and I won't say any more...

I was being careful with her resources, and I didn't want to make them seem endless or unimportant, but I may have overstated it some. Even though I know its pointless, I think on some level I would try to avoid a magic missile too. I mean, how many people would duck and cover if a nuke was going to go off (hide under your desk kids!) Its just instinct to avoid being hurt, especially for someone who is an expert fighter. She starts dodging before she even thinks about it.

The only magic melee weapon she was carrying at that point was the Lopper's axe, and Kendra had never IDed it as such, so she didn't know for sure that it was magical. Yup, level 6. And I enjoy writing her, so this isn't the last of her.

Thank's for the review!
Review By [Drake] • Date [29 Oct 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Fifteen" from ShalaDakiri
Review:
Good to see they survived the dungeon crawl. It's been kind of fun to try guessing what they're using before seeing the notes at the end of the chapters.

And if you think a wizard is scary, try pairing a druid and a cleric with the travel domain during a ship board adventure.

"Enemy ships? What enemy ships?"
Comments from author:
I'm glad the dungeon crawl has gone over well. I liked having Buffy be the main perspective character, since she doesn't know about magic, and therefore I had to be really descriptive.

I've actually gotten a campaign of Skull and Shackles mostly prepped for my group, so I may be facing a party of pirates soon enough...

Thanks for the review!
Review By [ShalaDakiri] • Date [29 Oct 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Fifteen" from AllenPitt
Review:
So the whole campaign was a complete success, except for the last bit. Oops. I have to admit, if they win past whatever the latest complication is, I'd like to see Buffy travel to Sunnydale (with Kendra if possible) and get some closure. Willow probably needs that too, badly.
One wonders what Kendra would make of Angel and/or Spike... ..... and, those healing potions are great.
Next up, you should have Buffy or Faith end up in the world of (the game) "Diablo III". It's just made for a slayer.
Comments from author:
Buffy might not be an adventurer, but she knows her business at this point. It would take pretty hard campaign for her not to succeed. Buffy and Willow really do need that talk -- neither of them can fully move on without it.
Kendra meeting them would be interesting -- especially Spike, given how proper she is and how rude and in your face he is.
The only problem with Diablo, is that while I loved the first one (I beat it three times back in the day, and got a sorcerer to hell before a harddrive crash interrupted), and Diablo 2 (only beat it once, but it was a great game), I can't play three. My laptop is... old. My desktop... can't do it either. I had frame rate issues with WoW at times. So unfortunately, Diablo III isn't available for me.
Review By [AllenPitt] • Date [29 Oct 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Fifteen" from war
Review:
Those 2 make a good team.

It was a well written fight.

Good story looking forward to your next chapter.
Comments from author:
Yup -- a classic warrior and wizard combo.

I enjoyed that fight myself -- a serious challenge for them.

Thanks for the review!
Review By [war] • Date [29 Oct 12] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Fourteen" from AllenPitt
Review:
I'm not familiar with this campaign, but... in their place I'd be a lot more suspicious of this Vesorianna character. Just sayin'.....
Hey. Assuming Buffy makes it back to Sunnydale, will the magic in this place work there? Bag of holding, potions, all that stuff? That'd be really cool. And she does need to meet with Willow one last time. They need to talk. (I like to think Faith is out of jail and slaying in her place, now). Have to also wonder if the whole thing with the First is going to happen.
Comments from author:
I would be also... but its pretty normal to accept that sort of thing in this genre. The magic items will work in any dimension she visits, and yes, Willow and Buffy will eventually talk. As for Faith, that thing in the slayer dream with the class protector award was showing her taking over slaying. I do have plans for this to be a couple of story series, with the First being involved and all of that wrapped up. Complex, interesting plans. But I've got them on the back burner for the moment -- I'm working on a different story. I have been making some notes/doing some research towards the sequels, though, so I should get around to it eventually.
Review By [AllenPitt] • Date [27 Oct 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Fourteen" from war
Review:
nice bit of loot they picked up.

good story looking forward to your next chapter.
Comments from author:
Yup -- I like a good wondrous item every now and then. Thanks for the review!
Review By [war] • Date [26 Oct 12] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Fourteen" from grd
Review:
Excellent dungeon crawl. Horrific place. Reminds me of the old module, Tomb of Horror.
Comments from author:
Thanks! I'm still somewhat surprised that the dungeon crawl has worked as well as it has. I've been running Tomb of Horrors for 4e for my group on weekends, and I pulled down my copy of the original a while back. I was actually 'this close' to writing a run of White Plume Mountain for a fic, but after rereading it and starting some note taking, decided against it. Thanks for reviewing!
Review By [grd] • Date [26 Oct 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Thirteen" from war
Review:
that was a nasty fight the next 2 should be really interesting.

good story looking forward to your next chapter.
Comments from author:
Yeah -- I liked the Lopper. A wraith that fights hand to hand, so it was more like a tough, normal foe once she got the axe out, which was a real change of pace. Thanks for the review!
Review By [war] • Date [22 Oct 12] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Thirteen" from Drake
Review:
First a spelling mistake: “No. I couldn't throw her in their, even after what she did.
It should be 'there' instead of 'their'.

The explanation of magic in the world is well done, and perhaps should have come earlier. Personally I think of the magic being stored in the soul of the caster until it's released, but the effect is the same.

The damaged weapon is a neat idea and caught me by surprise. But what surprised me more is that Buffy and Kendra obviously intent to stay in the prison to finish it now. On the one hand I can understand the desire to deal with it and be done, but given their injuries and how shook up they are (both because of the zombie and the fight with the Lopper), returning early and spending the rest of the day recovering would be first in my mind. For that matter I'd have delayed a day before returning to the prison, but that may be more due to my cautious nature.

Oh, a last thought; when Kendra went hysteric, wouldn't the screams have been heard by the neighbors? After the reports of undead, I'd also expect there to be some kind of patrol, or at least night guard ready to assist if there is an attack.
Comments from author:
I fixed it -- I know the difference between my 'there' 'their' and 'they're' but for some reason I make that mistake constantly.

Maybe the explanation should have been earlier, but I didn't find a good time until now to do it. I'm glad it was coherent.

Given Buffy's strength, I would expect her to damage a fair number of weapons during her career, and hitting a flaming enemy of unusually tough bone seemed like something that would be bad for your sword. Buffy usually isn't the cautious type (and I said that she had wanted to simply press on the previous day) and Kendra, after the thing with her father, wants to get this done. As for injuries, they have been drinking a fair number of healing potions, and Buffy has been taking the brunt of the hits, and she is both tough and heals fast.

Given the dangers, most people are avoiding trouble right now. When terrified screams erupt from the home of the town's only hope, most townsfolk decide praying is the solution, rather than getting involved. They are fairly cowed right now.

Thanks for the review!
Review By [Drake] • Date [22 Oct 12] • Not Rated
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