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Pulp Faith

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Review of chapter "13" from JediKnight
Review:
Verty nice work on the update, I hope to read more of your work soon.
Though I thought Fu Manchu was Chinese and not Japanese; if he is Chinese why is he working with ninjas who are Japanese?
Comments from author:
I guess because they're the world's first special forces? The world's perfect
mercenaries for the job in hand.

Thanks for the review.
Review By [JediKnight] • Date [2 Jul 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "13" from Dhampyr
Review:
Um, Mayor Wilkins WAS running Sunnydale in the Thirties. In fact, he founded the town in the late 1800's. Is Faith just unaware of that little tidbit, because Xander should remember it from being there when they all discovered how old Wilkins really was.
Comments from author:
Eh?


“You realise of course no matter how much we wanna, we can’t change Sunnydale?” Xander continued without giving her chance to answer. “You kill the Mayor and you might end up having no-body to lean on after Finch and might just go down and never come up. Or if we kill the Master now, there might be some other Vampire Master who isn’t trapped underground in charge when Buffy first arrives. We can’t predict how changing the past will affect our futures.”

How does any of that relate to the Mayor NOT being in Sunnydale?

Oh wait, you mean:-

"“Yeah, Rasputin.” Faith grimaced. She to admit that goin’ to Sunnydale caused her more than a few butterflies, maybe even more than last time she returned, ‘cause at least then, the Mayor wasn’t runnin’ the damn town."

Remember LAST time Faith returned to Sunnydale was in S7 when the Mayor was long dead. That's CLEARLY what she's thinking about.
Review By [Dhampyr] • Date [1 Jul 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "13" from Chargone
Review:
The chase scene... way too many sentences, sometimes several in a row, and paragraphs (likewise) start with 'Faith (verb)'. To a lesser extent the same happens in the fight, and with Xander. Some of them can be replaced with a pronoun... more can have the verb for changed, allowing a pronoun to be placed in a different location, and others, from memory, can drop the name/pronoun entirely through clever use of ", then". There are tricks to using repetition to drive home a point. When not using them, it's best to avoid it. (There's a weird sort of topic or focus marking or something that comes into play with pronouns too. Wish i could explain it properly, because it tells you when you need to restate who pronouns refer to. Mostly amounts to scene changes or when you change who the pronouns refer to, but sometimes you don't need to due to pronouns marking for case, among other things.)

That aside: yay chapter!
Comments from author:
It's a tricky balance, using names and pronouns too much or too little.

Thanks for the review.
Review By [Chargone] • Date [1 Jul 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "12" from (Recent Donor)nerfherder
Review:
Any chance you can have the pair of them do a little spring cleaning of the council? Just have the results lead to an alternative universe string. Their return need not be impede by it. The whole multi-verse story should cover everything and a new string with improvements is always good for the balance.
Comments from author:
The only trouble with that suggestion is that these two aren't exactly Council historians, and as such wouldn't know which Watchers to kill. They will however have more dealings with the Council before the end.

Thanks for the review.
Review By [(Recent Donor)nerfherder] • Date [22 Jun 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "12" from (Current Donor)vladt
Review:
enjoying your on going tale, thank you.
Comments from author:
Glad you're enjoying it.

Thanks for the review.
Review By [(Current Donor)vladt] • Date [19 Jun 13] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "12" from Genuka
Review:
*cackle* I wonder it they're going to bother telling them that some wanna be god decided to dump them backward in time and they're just trying to get back...
Comments from author:
Heh. Who'd believe somebody could be that unlucky????

Thanks for the review.
Review By [Genuka] • Date [18 Jun 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "12" from JediKnight
Review:
Very good job on the update, I'll be looking forward to more. I see you briefly brought in Dick Tracy.
Comments from author:
Yeah, I don't really know the char unlike most
of the others I've xovered, so it was a blink
it cameo rather than anything else.

Thanks for the review. One more chapter
then Sunnydale!
Review By [JediKnight] • Date [18 Jun 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "11" from Ghostrider
Review:
Still loving seeing all the cameos of Golden Age heroes.

Dick Tracy and now Indy too. Who else will we be seeing next? And why do I have the feeling that, if our intrepid heroes do go to Sunnydale, the future will be changed completely?
Comments from author:
There's plenty of pulp heroes to come. Although not all of them
are US-based.

Actually you'll find the timeline is tougher than you'd think.

Thanks for the review.
Review By [Ghostrider] • Date [8 Jun 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "11" from JediKnight
Review:
Very nice job on the update, I'll be looking forward to more of this. Was the name Indy gave The Master bat-face under the hellmouth?
Comments from author:
It most certainly is. However you're making one large assumption.

And no, I'm not going to tell you. Look up The Master on the Buffy wiki
and check the year this story is set in.
Review By [JediKnight] • Date [4 Jun 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "11" from OlBear
Review:
Still liking this story, especially the cameos. I guess Xander and Faith will be taking a trip to Sunnydale in the near future. I wonder what the Mayor and the Master will make of them? Looking forward to the next update.
Comments from author:
I wonder if the town will survive their visit.

Thanks for the review.
Review By [OlBear] • Date [4 Jun 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "11" from djhardim
Review:
I missed the reference to Dick Tracy.

Pat is Pat Patton, Tracy's first partner. He was followed by Sam Catchem.
Comments from author:
Yep.

Thanks for the review.
Review By [djhardim] • Date [3 Jun 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "11" from Tjack
Review:
The name Pat made me wonder, but the yellow trenchcoat & fedora made me laugh out loud.
Does this person have a hawk-like nose, a lantern jaw and unusual taste in timepieces?
Comments from author:
Why yes he does. :D

Thanks for the review.
Review By [Tjack] • Date [3 Jun 13] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "11" from AllenPitt
Review:
I'm sure Nest will be happy to help Rasputin in his mythological inquiries. Maybe the nice Mayor, too.
Comments from author:
The three of them are practically a mutual fan club.

Thanks for the review.
Review By [AllenPitt] • Date [3 Jun 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "11" from jayesh
Review:
Awesome as usual.


"You mean those sociopaths whose ancestors even today run the extortion rackets, gambling, the whores, the drugs and the guns that cause much of the problems in America’s inner-cities?” Xander shook his head. “Yeah not seeing the glamour there.”

Should be descendants.
Comments from author:
Oooh, good catch. I'll change it.

Thanks for the review.
Review By [jayesh] • Date [3 Jun 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "11" from Genuka
Review:
NEST?!?!?! The Master has the moonstone? Wow, you're really working the Buffy mythos into this.
Comments from author:
I'm trying to. And remember who else was around at this time?

I picked 1937 for this story for a reason. :D

Thanks for the review.
Review By [Genuka] • Date [3 Jun 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
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