Large PrintHandheldAudioRating
using
 paypal
Twisting The Hellmouth Crossing Over Awards - Results
Is your email address still valid?

Her Sword

StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking
Review of chapter "Loooseee! You gah sam 'splainin' to do!" from (Past Donor)Jewel
Review:
Very interesting.... I like how you've blended snippets from various myths and particularly the way Xan had his 'spirit quest'.
Review By [(Past Donor)Jewel] • Date [9 Nov 12] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Loooseee! You gah sam 'splainin' to do!" from Bobboky
Review:
Very good
Review By [Bobboky] • Date [9 Nov 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Loooseee! You gah sam 'splainin' to do!" from GaboonViper
Review:
I love your depiction of Xander. Far to many stories treat him like some kind of power-hungry maniac, a perfect and wise hero, or even both. In this story he's human. Good, but not a saint. Smart, but far from a genius.

The story is intriguing. The secondary characters are well-written too. Obviously you put a great deal of effort in them. Although your Giles seems a bit off to me, it's not in a bad way. I just can't picture him as a father figure for any character other than Buffy.

Normally this would be where I have a whole list of things for you to improve, but I just can't think of anything else here. Which is my way, as a compulsive criticizer, of giving you a huge compliment.

Anyway, great stuff! I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

Cheers,
Boyd
Comments from author:
The Giles thing is kind of intentional, actually, because as you say, he *is* (in the show as well) pretty much just a father figure to Buffy. That's kind of one of his flaws as a character, one he only really acknowledges at the end of season 6 and during season 7. The Scoobies are a bunch of badly damaged kids, all of them. Buffy's dad is an avoiding jerk, Willow's parents are so concerned with being right all the time that they barely hang out with their kid, and Xander's parents are drunks (most likely periodical drunks, since those seem to be more "acceptable" to society in general).

The fact that Xander in spite of this sees him as a father figure says a lot about how damaged he really is, I think.
Review By [GaboonViper] • Date [9 Nov 12] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Loooseee! You gah sam 'splainin' to do!" from alynambered
Review:
It's still a nice bit of mythological unification to 'prove' Gile's theory. And develop the story basics.
Review By [alynambered] • Date [9 Nov 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Loooseee! You gah sam 'splainin' to do!" from Oxnate
Review:
I blame the Greeks.

Before Alexander conquered the world, women's rights varied much more throughout the world. Egypt, for example, allowed women to inherit property and own businesses. The Greeks were having none of that. After Alexander, the areas he conquered all had lower standards of women's rights than when he began. And those ideas even reached neighboring areas he hadn't got to.

Anyway. In thanks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E280K2w9nfI
Review By [Oxnate] • Date [9 Nov 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Loooseee! You gah sam 'splainin' to do!" from michaelangelo
Review:
Your forgetting the Bible which was changed by King James around 1600 with Lilith and fun quotes like 'suffer not a witch to live' which led to innocent women being murdered. Strangely even Fairy tales are the same, and modern books too.

The chapter title, shouldn't that be Lucy? or I could be missing the glaringly obvious again.
Comments from author:
Not when you write it in his accent...
Review By [michaelangelo] • Date [9 Nov 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Say it once, say it twice" from RockyWilliams
Review:
Love the story, and can't wait to see where you go with it!
Review By [RockyWilliams] • Date [8 Nov 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Say it once, say it twice" from Bobboky
Review:
Very very good
Review By [Bobboky] • Date [8 Nov 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Say it once, say it twice" from PATM
Review:
I liked the way you presented the premise and follow up chapters. Looking forward to more.
Review By [PATM] • Date [8 Nov 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Say it once, say it twice" from Gideon
Review:
I'm ashamed to say that my first thought was the same as Xander's when I read about the cameras. But it was actually Spike's minions trying to videotape Buffy's slaying style. Anyway...
You surprised me again by going with the canon costumes for Halloween. I was sure that someone was going to get more info on the prophecy and maybe a new destiny from their costume. But that didn't happen :( Once again you managed to make the story more interesting by not following the well traveled path. Giles certainly seems to be excited about the new information, or perhaps horrified would be a better word. I hope he is careful about who he shares this new info with. There may be a section of the council that already knows this secret and will be trying to protect it!
Review By [Gideon] • Date [8 Nov 12] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Say it once, say it twice" from alynambered
Review:
Yay, the good guys are finally starting to get it together.

Thanks for writing.
Review By [alynambered] • Date [8 Nov 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Say it once, say it twice" from bohica
Review:
Finally!

I've been following along because the style was fun and the story was well written (a distinct effort can be seen to reduce the grammatical mishaps that cause my eyelid to twitch, i.e. your/you're, etc.).

But with the latest chapters, you've brought clarity and revealed the "whys" of how you have been developing the characters.

Thumbs up from me at least - here's hoping your muse keeps prodding you and the story continues to grow!
Review By [bohica] • Date [8 Nov 12] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Say it once, say it twice" from Oxnate
Review:
Either Giles jumped to the conclusion, that the council stole the Slayer, WAY too quickly; or he's had this theory and been thinking about this for a while now.

Everything else was fun.
Comments from author:
Well, he's been researching stuff ever since he found the amulet. We'll get some insight into where he got his idea from in next chapter (I don't believe in info-dumping in dialog, it never looks or reads well).
Review By [Oxnate] • Date [8 Nov 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Say it once, say it twice" from Genuka
Review:
Great updates! This story is developing nicely. I can't wait for the next update!
Review By [Genuka] • Date [8 Nov 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "May the road rise with you" from Jazzibear
Review:
This is sheer joy to read. I read it very slowly and carefully so as to pick up all the nuances, and I can now say with complete certainty that I am just as befuddled as Xander, Buffy and Willow, which is all very satisfactory.

Please go on with this for many episodes: I wish to continue being entertained and bemused for a long time.

Before I finish rambling, I must say how good it is to read such well-written English. It provides an extra level of enjoyment to ingenuity of plot and accuracy of characterisation and such. Thank you.

I did notice a few minor glitches, though, though in mentioning them I mean no criticism at all.

“You performing CPR on her …”   Giles, having had a classical education, would certainly have said “Your performing …”, because he would have had use of gerunds dinned into his head in both Latin and English lessons in whichever public school (British usage) he attended. After all, he correctly said “… in spite of my having told them …” two paragraphs later.

“… ‘Warrior’ is in the female tense.”   When I was learning Latin, quite a few years before Giles did, some words (nouns, pronouns, adjectives) came in different genders (masculine, feminine, common and neuter), while people and other living creatures came in different sexes (male, female and neuter). Nowadays talking about male and female sexes is apparently not the thing, and we are stuck with belonging to male and female (and so on) genders, and a useful distinction has been lost. Shame, really.

Sorry, got lost for a bit there. Tense, on the other hand, is past, present and future, like Arthur himself – “Rex quondam, rexque futurus”, The Once and Future King. So I suppose it should read “… ‘Warrior’ is in the female gender.” or even “… ‘Warrior’ is in the feminine gender.”

In chapter 2, “… she felt her gander rising …” Ganders are notoriously bad-tempered birds, but shouldn’t it be dander?

I expect you are already familiar with all of the above, and it is all out of place and impertinent to boot. If so, I am embarrassed already, and I’m shutting up now.

Thanks again for a truly splendid read!
Comments from author:
Well, Latin is one thing. Ancient Gaelic (edit: or ancient Welsh) is another. Just because the classic medieval version of the myth has the writing surrounding Excalibur be in Latin doesn't mean that's what's on the amulet. *grin*
Review By [Jazzibear] • Date [8 Nov 12] • Not Rated
start back Page: 5 of 7 next end
StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking