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The Vampire Child

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Review of chapter "Chapter Eight" from AllenPitt
Review:
That should be an interesting encounter at Sanctuary. Xander & Willow show up, they use the word "Akharu" -that'd be like setting off a bomb. Not necessarily in a bad way, but they're (aside from Tesla) extinct, and he's only a 'partial'. It'd be huge news. Once the excitement died down and they start asking questions, they might well make the connection and go "Tesla! Of course, that asshole!" But nobody's going to think "Oh yeah, and Magnus must be the mom!". That'd be an even bigger shock.
Hm, that they're connected to the Watchers will come out at some point, and that will likely be a big unpleasant. .......
Hey--maybe Marcie is a descendant of the invisible man (original member of Magnus' group)?
Review By [AllenPitt] • Date [10 Jan 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Prologue" from MadHobbit
Review:
good start, I feel the pace is just right, hate stories that with one or two chapters major things happen. To go to a new city and have to work a bit and not have it all fall into their hands ,I feel is the right way.i could see this going 20-30 chapters.
Review By [MadHobbit] • Date [1 Jan 13] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Seven" from Sandi
Review:
Great idea. Helen is going to skin Nikola alive.
Review By [Sandi] • Date [31 Dec 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Seven" from lordamnesia
Review:
very very well done! Keep up the great work!
Review By [lordamnesia] • Date [29 Dec 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Seven" from (Past Donor)merlyna
Review:
Cool story! Tesla is one of my favorite characters, and I love your concept of Xander being his and Magnus' child created in yet another of Tesla's take-over-the-world plots. :)

Good interaction amongst the gang, plus use of Willow's magic. Looking forward to the rest of the story!

Thanks for writing.
Review By [(Past Donor)merlyna] • Date [29 Dec 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Seven" from CageFire
Review:
Somewhat interesting story. Although it does kind of feel drawn out, then again the chapters aren't too long so maybe it feels more drawn out than it is. Anyway, I'll be looking forward to the meeting with his parent(s).
Review By [CageFire] • Date [29 Dec 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Seven" from AllenPitt
Review:
Ok, speak with the guy who found X., then off to the 'spot' in the city that the spell found. That's going to be one interesting meeting, assume Magnus & company are in (ie not off in Tibet or the inner earth or whatever).
H. Magnus has lost one child already, traumatically. Finding out about a new one--equal parts gladness, and much with the anger towards Tesla if she figures he's behind it. And the "Xander is a vampire" is a huge clue.
Meanwhile she might be horrified to find out that Xander is part of a group that "hunts down 'Abnormals'" as she might see them....
Review By [AllenPitt] • Date [29 Dec 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Seven" from RevDorothyL
Review:
Very glad you're continuing with this story!
Review By [RevDorothyL] • Date [29 Dec 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Seven" from VillageOrchid
Review:
Nice to see more of this story. Stylistically, this chapter is filler due to the conversations that don't really tell us much, but I can see where you put some character moments and plot moments in.
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [29 Dec 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Six" from RevDorothyL
Review:
Intriguing! Xander will definitely be better off with Helen Magnus and Nikola Tesla as parents than he was with the Harrises (even if Helen may be more than a little miffed that Nikola used her DNA to make a child and then didn't give HER the option to raise him alongside of Ashley -- whom I'm assuming is already dead at this point in the "Sanctuary" chronology?).

I hope you continue with this, and I look forward to seeing what comes next.
Review By [RevDorothyL] • Date [17 Dec 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Six" from JediKnight
Review:
Still comes across as campy or scripted.
Review By [JediKnight] • Date [17 Dec 12] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Six" from AllenPitt
Review:
huh. Just occurred to me that doing a 'parent locator' might return THREE results: Tesla, present-Helen and 'went-to-the-past-and-is-waiting to get back to the present Helen'. You probably don't want to go there, though.
The adoption agency likely is a dead end ... present-Helen could be anywhere in the world, of course, same for Tesla. Xander would be a LOT better off finding Helen first, IMO.
So X. gets partial vampirism from Tesla, maybe longevity from Helen... weird.
Review By [AllenPitt] • Date [16 Dec 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Six" from VillageOrchid
Review:
Slow moving, but continues to be interesting and thoughtful.
Did Willow have a cold when she told Xander she bought a ticket?

“I reserved us a ticked."
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [16 Dec 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Five" from JediKnight
Review:
Good plot, but your story is a bit too campy
Review By [JediKnight] • Date [11 Dec 12] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Five" from VillageOrchid
Review:
Good chapter. Thanks for continuing.
Comments from author:
Thanks.
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [10 Dec 12] • Not Rated
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