Large PrintHandheldAudioRating
using
 paypal
Twisting The Hellmouth Crossing Over Awards - Results
Is your email address still valid?

Retribution.

StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking
Review of chapter "Chapter Seven." from (Current Donor)MaxGSandeman
Review:
Zoe not thinking about, but she is the last member of her family.
I can only hope she survives and receives help. The situation that has developed, shows the short comings of the council. The council should suspect that a slayer killed one mugger.

I thought Kendra went to another reality? Which one is your story set?

Kim Greylek may have a future in some of your other stories.
Comments from author:
Kendra might have started out in a reality similar to this one but not quite. Or it could be the same one but where people made different choices.

There tricky these alternate realities.

But damned handy if you want to bring back someone who's dead.

Cheers,
D.
Review By [(Current Donor)MaxGSandeman] • Date [21 Dec 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Seven." from AndreaMaine
Review:
I think Zoe is another Dark Slayer and perhaps it is Faith that should have a discussion with her and not the ADA or the SVU team.
Comments from author:
Faith is probably doing something super secret...or maybe she finishing school. Either way I'm afraid she's not available...need more slayers in the military I think.

Cheers,
D.
Review By [AndreaMaine] • Date [21 Dec 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Six." from Difdi
Review:
> Zoe walked over to the first mugger and put a single round through his forehead.

Not with a .22 pistol she didn't. The only way a .22 pocket pistol bullet will penetrate a human forehead is if she pushed it through by hand using super strength. Guns are not magic wands, and the ammunition used by a .22 pocket pistol is the sort you hunt rabbits with. It can kill a human if you hit them somewhere vulnerable like the heart or temple, but it will bounce off of human bones like ribs or skulls.

A .22 is not really any quieter than any other gun. Movie assassins use special low velocity ammunition with silencers, neither of which Zoe is using (as shown by the crack sound of the gunshot as the bullet breaks the sound barrier and the fact the pistol fits in her coat pocket). It's worth noting that in real life, someone using a movie assassin setup on their .22 pistol will have to re-cock the gun after every shot, since subsonic ammunition doesn't generate enough gas pressure to operate the gun's action.

Technical errors aside, it's a pretty neat crossover. Paul Kersey was dangerous as hell WITHOUT superhuman strength and reflexes.

Edited to reply:

I dug up a size chart for ammunition for you. The cartridge used by a standard .22 pocket pistol is #1 on the pistol portion of the chart, typically used for target practice due to the low recoil and cheap price. The cartridge used by Mr. Kersey in his revolver was either #3 or #10 (I lean towards #3, his gun was never terribly impressive). The original PPK (made in 1931) used #3, while the .22 converted PPK used #1 on the rifle list (typically used for hunting rabbits). For comparison, the 7.62mm round you mentioned is #32 in the rifle section. #16 in the rifle section is what an M-16 fires, and is basically a .22 long rifle with a bigger powder charge.

As you can probably imagine, a .22 is not impressive in performance. Real life assassins using movie assassin guns would probably have to shoot their target in the temple, through the eye or through the heart to get a kill with one. Anywhere else would hurt but probably not kill a human adult. The .32 revolver Kersey used is considerably more capable of killing a human than a .22, but even with Kersey's .32 I'd be wary of shooting someone in the forehead and expecting them to die from it.

http://pinkhandguns.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/bulletcalibercomparison.jpg
Comments from author:
I was thinking she was using something like a Walther PPK converted for .22 rounds (I know this gun exists). In the film Kersey used what looked like a .32 cal revolver, not the most powerful hand gun in the world!

To be honest I've not much expirance with small calibre weapons, about the smallest thing I've ever fired was a 7.62mm Nato round.

Cheers,
D.

Interesting, but someone else has told me that .22 'hot loads' will kill most people at close range (and this is what we have). In future I'm sticking to military rounds and shotguns, no agruments about those.

Cheers again,
D.
Review By [Difdi] • Date [21 Dec 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Seven." from (Recent Donor)JanessaRavenwood
Review:
Well, there's nothing for it - she'll have to move to Chicago and start over there. :-)

I really hope she finally gets a lead on who killed her family - poor Paul Kersey never did find out who killed his family, as I recall.

Hopefully she's learned a few lessons by now:
1) Use a revolver, and always wear gloves when handling ammunition and the weapon, to avoid fingerprints.
2) Carry a quick-mounting facial mask, preferably one with a close match to her actual skin color, in her pocket to be put over her face quickly and easily. With that on under her hoodie, she would not have been caught on camera.

I see a great future for her - as a sort of "Punisher's Apprentice."
Comments from author:
A great future eh?

I once read a book in which the shooter used an automatic in a clothe bag to catch the ejected cases and make the plice think he was using a revolver. Yep wearing gloves helps, but remember some latex gloves still leave finger prints, always wear two pairs.

The mask is a good idea.

Cheers,
D.
Review By [(Recent Donor)JanessaRavenwood] • Date [20 Dec 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Seven." from PATM
Review:
Zoe learning about the rule of the sword. Living and Dying. I recall that the mayor was a bit on the slimy side but maybe it the times I was living in. Do I foresee a violent meeting with the on duty slayers?
Comments from author:
Slayer on slayer, and not in a 'fun' way, could be.

Cheers,
D.
Review By [PATM] • Date [20 Dec 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Seven." from Mcspender
Review:
And the politicians got involved, damn :S.
Of course, being an slayer means that Zoe is supernaturally skilled with a gun. Too bad that in a gunfight, they don't need to get close to you, they only need to get lucky one time.
Kennedy's and Viv's reaction to Zoe rampage will be a very interesting thing to see.
Cool chapter, see ya!!.
Comments from author:
Remember Kennie and Vi are still quite young women, very early 20's. Yep their reaction could be fun!

Cheers,
D.
Review By [Mcspender] • Date [20 Dec 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Seven." from dcarson
Review:
Doesn't matter now that they have her picture but they might get a familial DNA match from the evidence from her mother and sister. That DNA might be in the database since they have to see if any of the blood is from someone else.
Comments from author:
Considering I used to work at a place that used to research DNA I didn't even think of that...this is why I don't like writing detective type stories, its too easy to forget details like that.

Cheers,
D.
Review By [dcarson] • Date [20 Dec 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Seven." from AllenPitt
Review:
Of course, her crusade against muggers is even more hopeless than the crusade against vampires... so I suppose she gets the msg to go and be a vigilante in some other city? As in end of the DW film. So... her ID doesn't get back to Kennedy & the slayers? I'm really interested in what the new council would do with her. Tell her to stop? heh.
Does she end up joining the army & end up in that 613 unit? We all want to see a sequel!
Comments from author:
Although I'd not actually thought of doing a sequel, there's a chance that Zoe's character might turn up in a future fic, we'll have to wait and see.

Cheers,
D.
Review By [AllenPitt] • Date [20 Dec 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Seven." from eriktheviking
Review:
The scariest part of this story is the politicians getting involved.
Comments from author:
Isn't it always?

Cheers,
D.
Review By [eriktheviking] • Date [20 Dec 12] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Six." from Mcspender
Review:
And Zoe's actions in this chapter shows why a character in an avenging crusade always fails.
She's literally improvising everything; she does not have a plan or a clear target, she's just kills for the thrill, no to make a point or weakening an enemy :S.
Dude, this is one of your best tales, congratulations =)!!.
Cool chapter, see ya!!.
Comments from author:
Thank-you, and yes everything is starting to turn pear shaped for Zoe.

Cheers,
D.
Review By [Mcspender] • Date [19 Dec 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Six." from eriktheviking
Review:
All those Criminal Minds episodes were right about the killer's interval decreasing. Great writing as ever, thanks.
Comments from author:
Yep, its like a drug. You've got to have larger hits over a shorter period.

Cheers,
D.
Review By [eriktheviking] • Date [19 Dec 12] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Six." from (Recent Donor)JanessaRavenwood
Review:
Now they had the blood they might find the perp already in one of their many databases. Once they had a match it would be a simple job of tracking down the killer and arresting him…or her.
-----
I've heard about a large a public DNA database in the UK (not sure if it was ever implemented) that would store everyone's DNA, but that hasn't been implemented here. What they've got will give them her blood type and her gender (XX chromosomes), but unless her DNA is on file somewhere for some reason (unlikely), that's all they'll have. Note, if they arrest her later and take new samples of those, they'll match, and thus tie her to the earlier crime scene.
Comments from author:
Yep the police tried to set up a DNA database, but the Law Lords/Supreme Court said it was illegal and they must destroy all records from people who hadn't been charged or convicted.

Now the police are being exposed for the incompetent and criminally negligent organisation they are, I'm on the side of the Law Lords.

Cheers,
D.
Review By [(Recent Donor)JanessaRavenwood] • Date [19 Dec 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Six." from Rich
Review:
It might be interesting if there really was a midget drag queen vigilante running around, fighting to defend the rights of the vertically challenged; a completely different story, but interesting.

This is still going great.
Comments from author:
Cheers, yep that would be a spin-off to write. Now you've put the idea in my mind you never know.

Cheers,
D.
Review By [Rich] • Date [19 Dec 12] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Six." from AllenPitt
Review:
I dunno. In a weird sort of way, she's doing a slayer's job, just not narrowing it down to non-human predators only. So far she's been making the world a better place. The real sticky part is when she's been ID'd. Even if she gets caught...holding a slayer in jail is not easy. Almost impossible unless they know she's a slayer. So she could easily escape. There's a chance that existence of slayers could get exposed, all sorts of bad stuff.
At some point the regular slayers are going to run the risk of people thinking they're the subway vigilante, also...
Comments from author:
This of course is the moral dilemma. Hitler made the trains run on time but do you want to be ruled by a dictator? A vigilante might rid the streets of crime but are you willing to look the other way when they get it wrong and shoot the wrong person?

Its enough to drive you round the bend.

Cheers,
D.
Review By [AllenPitt] • Date [19 Dec 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Five." from PATM
Review:
Is Zoe a known person in the Slayer world? Are you keeping that out of the story? A follow up interview from the local Slayer house would out her mental breakdown shouldn't it? Only one Faith appearance is a darn shame. That visit to the park is a Death Wish move for sure.
Comments from author:
Not so much, she's known but not a full time slayer.

Cheers,
D.
Review By [PATM] • Date [17 Dec 12] • Not Rated
start back Page: 2 of 6 next end
StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking