Large PrintHandheldAudioRating
Twisting The Hellmouth Crossing Over Awards - Results
Is your email address still valid?

The Secret Return of Alex Mack

StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking
Review of chapter "Mission Highly Unlikely" from Magi
I just realized this, but Alex accurately described her power accidentally while confronting the invisible guy all the way back in Chapter 37. Yet she still doesn't really understand it, while Carter sees what it is instantly.

And please, do a Hermione backstory. As violent as you want, I love your take on non-magical Voldemort, er, Deathstrike or whatever.

Any chance of an Interlude listing all the characters? I'm starting to loose track
Comments from author:
I defined Alex's power set (to my satisfaction) before I ever let her start wielding her powers in this story. Why? Because I'm just that obsessive.
Review By [Magi] • Date [30 Jun 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "It’s My Party and…" from (Current Donor)Speakertocustomers
This chapter was way below par for you. Jack's dialogue wasn't witty snark, it was schoolboy insults. He missed the golden opportunity to make Futurama-related cracks, which would have been genuinely funny, and I can't imagine the Simpsons-obsessed Jack O'Neill not being familiar with Futurama and not immediately thinking of it as soon as the doctor gave his name as Farnsworth. Instead he just harped on about bums in a way that sounded very much as if he was going by the British meaning rather than the American one. It made him sound like a sniggering nine-year-old and made me lose a lot of respect for him.

Dr. Burns, too, spoke some very childish dialogue; I mean, does "spouting off super-intelligent physics" really sound like something any adult would say? And the whole situation seemed far too over-the-top with the doctors being overly stupid and nasty in a totally unrealistic and cartoon-ish way.

Alex slipped up and spoke like a seventeen-year-old; "I want these guys arrested for being Peeping Toms and violating her civil rights and being gigantic creeps!” That may have been you intentionally showing her slipping but, taken with Jack's puerile insults, it came over more as you forgetting that she takes care to speak in a more adult fashion when she's being Terawatt.

And Grover's misbehaviour, revealed later, seemed very out of character for him now after the development he has gone through. Something about this whole chapter came over as you working out some issues of your own through the characters rather than getting on with the story.
Comments from author:
Yes, I had Alex slip up on dialogue on purpose. I'm glad you spotted it. And I thought Grover probably wasn't strictly on an upward curve, because he's still a teenaged guy. Who has one of the most easily abused superpowers, right behind telepathy and mental domination.

Maybe I'll improve in future chapters. :D
Review By [(Current Donor)Speakertocustomers] • Date [29 Jun 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "It’s My Party and…" from EdBecerra
Mel Brooks as the Indian Chief, translated. (And checked with at least one Jewish friend.)

Shvartses! (Blacks!) (To Indian raising tomahawk): No, no, zayt nisht meshuge! (Don't be crazy!) (Raising arms to the heavens in stereotypical Indian pose): Loz im geyn! (Let him go!) Cop a walk, it's alright. Abi gezint! (As long as you're healthy!) Take off! (To other Indians): Hosti gezen in dayne lebn? (Have you ever seen such a thing?) They darker than us! Woof!
Comments from author:
That's pretty much as I remember it, only 'schvartze' is not as polite a term as 'black people'. It's not quite up there with the N-word, but it's not exactly politically correct. And 'abi gezint' is really more 'go in good health' in idiom.

Granted, 'Blazing Saddles' is an exercise in political incorrectness, with an entire Western town that wants to lynch the new sheriff because he's black. And they're such stupid rednecks that he successfully takes *himself* as a hostage.
Review By [EdBecerra] • Date [29 Jun 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "It’s My Party and…" from fpb
SirLee: of course, but the problem is to get a young woman to be interested in cleaning in the first place. Janet would not, I imagine, take the same approach with someone like Charlie, who has grown in civilized environments, but in the case of Hanna she has to bypass sixteen years of worse-than-no-education. Like Terawatt bringing up the issue of the Orphans to get the President to give the SRI jurisdiction over MacNamara's assault, you tell the story you have to in order to get the results you need to get.
Comments from author:
Like fairy tales! Which are near and dear to Hanna's heart, because of her upbringing. If you can call it an upbringing.
Review By [fpb] • Date [29 Jun 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "It’s My Party and…" from SirLee
fpb: That's arguable. While some basic cleanliness is a good idea, the "treat any speck of dirt of an enemy" approach is no longer well thought of in the medical profession (well, outside of hospitals). There are several studies liking excessive cleanliness during childhood with asthma, among other things. Janet is not a pediatrician, but she is a military doctor, trained to operate (in both senses) in difficult situations. She knows very well that obsessive cleanliness is not really necessary except in some very specific situations; otherwise, general commonsense cleanliness is is enough.

(My sister is a pediatrician; she gets really annoyed by TV ads of antibacterial soap depicting any bacterium on the skin as a "menace" and playing the guilt card to the max to induce mothers to spend money on this useless and probably counterproductive "protection")
Comments from author:
Fairly useless on kids. What's the point of sanitizing and autoclaving a kid who is about to go play in the dirt or play with other kids? When my kids were younger, I liked to refer to them as 'my own personal little disease vectors'. It really annoyed the crap out of my oldest when she got old enough to grok the phrase.
Review By [SirLee] • Date [29 Jun 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "It’s My Party and…" from (Recent Donor)draconin
You've got me fascinated now; I'm going to have to see if I can find a translation somewhere of the Blazing Saddles Yiddish conversations. :-)

I love the way you're managing to keep this fresh and entertaining. Kudos.
Comments from author:
I'm sure that there will be a webpage somewhere that has every bit of Yiddish along with literal and figurative translations. After all, this is the internet, and it's a movie with the Yiddish equivalent of the F-word.
Review By [(Recent Donor)draconin] • Date [29 Jun 14] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "It’s My Party and…" from DieselDriver
Asking or saying "It can't get any worse can it?" seems to be a common screw up. Of course it always does. A lot! Reminded me of that old folk song with a slight alteration, "When will they never learn?" instead of "when well they ever learn?". Sorry, it's 4:20 AM, I couldn't help it.

By the way, Bill Handel, KFI 640 Los Angeles radio host in the morning used "schtup" a lot on the air back when I still listened to his show. I knew what it meant because he used it to mean what it meant. I think he did that because he couldn't use the "F" word.

Something else I was wondering when I read about the Terra-parties, Is she getting royalties for each of the costumes and party companies?
Comments from author:
I'm fairly sure that Terawatt is getting royalties - through Driscoll Enterprises. If Driscoll Enterprises can get royalties out of Mattell (finally!) and Disney, I don't think little chains like this have an alternative.
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [29 Jun 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "It’s My Party and…" from fpb
One thing about a detail. It should be easy enough for Janet to motivate Hannah towards cleaning. All she has to do is work on her defensive and fight-the-enemy instinct. She should inform Hanna of all the evil bacteria, nasty toxins and allied menaces that go with filth and decay, and why a clean room is better for one's health than a messy one. She's a doctor; she should have enough medical lore and anecdotes to give nightmares for a week even to a girl with no fear reflex. You'd soon have Mademoiselle Fighter cleaning up in the same spirit in which she tackled Bane and the catgirl. (Personal experience. That is how I was persuaded - at about eleven - never to smoke. And I have every bad habit in the world, but not that one.)

EDITED IN: I love James Brown's avian hypothesis.
Comments from author:
Hanna does keep clean in a medical sense, but she is less motivated when it comes to the 'please dust the living room' part of life. And she is a teenager, so some uncooperative behaviors have to be expected in there somewhere. Even I didn't like cleaning, and I'm about as obsessive as you can get without actually becoming Adrian Monk. :D
Review By [fpb] • Date [29 Jun 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "It’s My Party and…" from JamesBrown
Not a review of any chapter in particularly,
but I was going back and rereading some of the old chapters
looking for any of the vast Armory of Chekhov's guns
I might have missed and I got to thinking about something.

Much has been made about Hannah's physical and mental
differences from the norm, and when the cuckoo's
were introduced it was noted that they appeared to share
some physical and possibly mental characteristics,
and I wondered what traits they have in common
and what was the source of the DNA that might be responsible
for some of their behaviors.

Hannah- ridiculously strong and fast for her size, little to no fear
except, curiously, the first time an airplane flew overhead.
really likes Heights, freefall (seriously envious of terawatt's flight)
incredibly high spatial awareness and eye/hand coordination.
ferocious in a fight, tends to scream when attacking.
Strong attachment to people she thinks of as family.

The cuckoos- highly intelligent.
flock together as a group with little or no empathy
for outsiders,but spend a lot of time watching everyone around them
Little or no fear.
Little interest in anything outside the group
that isn't of use to the group.
Anything that even accidentally threatens any of them
is treated as a threat to all to be dealt with summarily.

While there are a lot of creatures with many of these traits
it doesn't seem that to me that mammals or reptiles quite fit.
it seems to me that 'flock' is the operative word-
because as a group these traits say aviary to me.

If you put the souls of crows into a group of humans,
I think you pretty much get the cuckoo's behavior.
there are reasons why it's called a murder of Crows.

As for Hannah, lives for flight and fight
and likes to dive at her prey.
If 'magic Willow' ever had a chance to scan her
I think she'd find the soul of a falcon.

Okay, enough of that.
As to today's episode, I thought Alex's embarrassment at her alter egos
popularity quite amusing, but she's really getting sloppy with her
secret identities operational security.
I really, really hope that Carter is completely healthy
and won't go off the deep end later, because we've seen an alternate
Carter who did completely lose it to psycho villainy.
I REALLY don't want to see her channeling a Goa'uld.
Oh, and by the way- while I am not Jewish, I have a lot of Jewish friends
and I do understand quite a bit of Yiddish and get most of Mel Brooks jokes,
which are hilarious- filthy, but hilarious.

still loving your work, and despairing I have to wait
another four whole days until I can read the next chapter :)
Once again thank you very much.
Comments from author:
You have some good points, but this is Maggie Walsh in the Alexverse, so the truth about Hanna won't have much to do with souls.
Review By [JamesBrown] • Date [29 Jun 14] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Return" from thapagan
Just how "famous" is Terrawatt, and does Alex really understand the fame? While she is not the "famous reclusive writer/artists, Terrawatt, does not really see the "press machine" like a sport star or a actor, she views her fame though the peep hole of the website, and leads a very busy life?
Dc comics touches on this with "the legend of superman" statue in park, press conferences, awards, vs the "myth of batman" no good photo etc
Comments from author:
Everything Terawatt does (meaning everything she gets witnessed or recorded doing) is all over the internet and every 'Entertainment Tonight' and 'Eye Witness News' and 'Real Crime' type of tv show. Plus the new tv and 'net shows that are devoted solely to superheroes and supervillains and supercrimes. Plus Terawatt and superbabe websites. Plus...

Alex is still in denial on this to a certain extent. Some of it is about to get rubbed in her face.
Review By [thapagan] • Date [29 Jun 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "It’s My Party and…" from Markelo

I love this story. I have another TV show for you to add. American Superhero.
Comments from author:
Do you mean 'The Greatest American Hero'? It made my long list but not my short list because of the backstory elements.
Review By [Markelo] • Date [29 Jun 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "It’s My Party and…" from VillageOrchid
I like how you had all lot of contrasting experiences for Alex in this chapter.
Comments from author:
And more stuff setting up the rest of the downtime between arcs.
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [29 Jun 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "It’s My Party and…" from HMaxMarius
Late thought additional review...

Thank GOODNESS Shar didn't insist on her Pyre costume!

Whew... an 8 year old (NINE!) *cringes* with a sense of Operational Security!
Comments from author:
A kid who is just nine, but has spent a couple years living under the most desperate 'operational security' conditions possible as The Shop hunted down her and her dad...
Review By [HMaxMarius] • Date [28 Jun 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "It’s My Party and…" from SirLee
Re Terawatt replacing princesses on little girls preferred role model:
Feminists are probably toasting to that with very expensive champagne. Because, as _Misfile_ so eloquently put it...

Re Hanna and cleanliness: I really don't think she would be all cleaning-obsessed. Hanna spent the most important thirteen years of her life in what's essentially a hunting cabin. Very very rustic. I would think her "father" taught her to keep everything organized and anything essential for survival in easy reach at all times; but at the same time, he taught her to kill and quarter elk (and humans) without flinching, to crawl and hide through mud and manure and such. She's not squeamish about dirt; Felix Unger she ain't.
Comments from author:
Terawatt - as well as women like Jo Lupo and Azure Crush - have to be changing the way that people consider the male-female divide. "Women can't do stuff like that! They're weak and fragile!" (other person points to tv screen where Azure Crush is carrying a couple full-sized I-beams across a construction site)
Review By [SirLee] • Date [28 Jun 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "It’s My Party and…" from ShalaDakiri
Re: Unprepared for the extras on fame

At least Alex has an advantage in that she can avoid most of of the unwanted attention due to the help Jack's provided in diverting attention away from her civilian identity.

As for the kid at the party, I figured it was at least partly because the name 'Danielle' likely isn't popular around town from the Atron mess.
Comments from author:
That could be an issue too. After all, Alex has a schoolmate who goes by 'D' instead of her first name just because of the Atron deal.
Review By [ShalaDakiri] • Date [28 Jun 14] • Not Rated
start back Page: 16 of 302 next end
StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking