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Review of chapter "The Calling (Part III)" from Panaka
Good chapter. I enjoyed it.

One minor complaint. You have quite a few issues in this chapter with word choice and punctuation. I had made a list with several of them and a suggested alternate, but the site decided I had taken to long to type everything and wiped it when I tried to post.
Comments from author:
Thanks Panaka

I have given a reread and updated some things in the chapter.

I suppose the problem is common. After a few hours of work on a chapter (which is what happened last Sunday), you don't see the errors anymore when re-reading for the Nth time.
Review By [Panaka] • Date [24 Mar 13] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The Calling (Part III)" from Rubel
Awesome. This story just keeps getting better
Comments from author:
Thanks Rubel
Review By [Rubel] • Date [24 Mar 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The Calling (Part III)" from AlphaBeta
Another great read! Cannot wait for the next chapter or for next chapter of TTC. Update soon!
Comments from author:
Thanks AlphaBeta
Review By [AlphaBeta] • Date [24 Mar 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The Calling (Part III)" from (Recent Donor)tammin
THIS WAS AWESOME!! With this chapter, this story is far and away better than its previous version. I enjoyed the different Easter eggs and elements I have found in this story. I am happy that you kept the Lovecraft reference of Dawn being the archetype of Yog-Sothoth. Although I have to wonder what did Howard stumble on to that would lead him to try to warn the world about the threat of the Old Ones in your world? Thank you for consistently keeping the quality of your work high.
Comments from author:
Thanks Tammin

You will see more on this later, but this has to do with what the Utukki (~shinigami in this story) have to do and the fact Dawn can open the Deeper Well.
Review By [(Recent Donor)tammin] • Date [24 Mar 13] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The Calling (Part III)" from Spica
"Saint batman..." lol, that was a really neat one. And perfect timing, i was just wishing one of the better stories would get an update, and 5 minutes later, i check the email and the alert for this arrived. ^_^
Comments from author:
Thanks, Spica
Review By [Spica] • Date [24 Mar 13] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The Calling (Part II)" from stardrow
OMG you have made a epic!! Pls update soon...just one request...Don't make Xander a butt monkey? Pls?
Comments from author:
Thank you stardrow

About Xander: butt monkey, no but neither will he be the main character. I have some things in stock for him, including a nice (though slightly possessive) girlfriend.
Review By [stardrow] • Date [9 Mar 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The Calling (Part II)" from Aenea
Oh all the fun little foreshadowing and shading in this chapter. “You had your time, you had the power. You’ve yet to have your finest hour.” Well that certainly describes their situation. All of Lorne's little flashes of potential futures certainly points to that finest hour's coming.

Dawn/Pluto/Ereshkigal's little slip of the tongue there at the end. My sister's coming indeed.

If LA is anything like NYC (I live near there) there will be cameras Everywhere recording this fight. Oh the fireworks this is going to set off in the MiB. Their Asgardian member's reaction is going to be the most telling, she might not trust Kali and Apex, but she will certainly remember Ishtar being the rightful ruler of Venus.

Nice to know Freddie Mercury is still alive, I'd suggest a reunion chapter eventually, like the manga equivalent of a beach chapter.

And they've now made contact with Willow/Mercury. Celia's name in Greek is a bit of a give away on her identity, unless your taking her in a different direction.

Minor issue
--- Somewhere in East Los Angeles, 8 September 2012, 17:45 --- should be 8 October the scene prior was 1 October.

Edit: Also Muse is a great band to listen to while reading this.
Comments from author:
Thank you Aenea,

I corrected the issue. The date of that scene should be 1 October 2012 (happening the same day, after school).

About cameras: it's even worse. Most bystanders will have a portable vidphone... The MiB being led by technologically savvy people, they know the masquerade is about to implode due to that age of information thing. The only question is when and how?

History alterations like keeping Freddie Mercury alive or having Arnold Schwarzenegger as Republican candidate in 2012 is the kind of details I love to sow in this kind of story.
Review By [Aenea] • Date [9 Mar 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The Calling (Part II)" from fanofdrows
Very good!

I really liked Lorne's panic attack and the inner happenings of Lisa are nice as always.

I really liked the meeting between the sisters and Willow. Gives a better background to the relationship between Solitaire and Kushinada.

During the scene with Joyce shooting the tracer round I somehow pictured her as the woman on the cartoon cover of Red Alert 3.

Poor Merrick. Reduced to a plot device to force Lisa to grow up quicker.

Lisa didn't regain her former memories during the altered transformation, did she? And how will Dawns transformation go? Will she turn into Sailor Pluto or whatever Ereshkigal looked like? And will the name be Ereshkigal instead of Ushas?

The entire Shuzen family's reaction to Kokoa's and Lisa's budding relationship will be interesting. Akasha's especially. From lowly human to the Queen of Succubi.

Keep up the excellent work!
Comments from author:
Thank you fanofdrows,

About Joyce: if you think about this one, she was mostly dressed differently and using a different kind of pistol (more on Joyce's arsenal next chapter)

About Lisa: Only bits and pieces of her memories but not the totality.

About Dawn: yes, I will use Ereshkigal (also called Aralu) instead of Ushas. Two reasons: 1) Ishtar and Ereshkigal are sisters (though not twins) in mythology and (in-story) Irkalla = Deeper Well. About her transformation, more on this in the next chapter.
Review By [fanofdrows] • Date [9 Mar 13] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The Calling (Part II)" from Spica
Nice. Pity about Merrick, he´s a fairly decent person after all.

One little point which i think may be due to a translation oopsie and probably needs fixing?
I can´t say i ever heard about the "numeric revolution", but the "digital revolution" would work just fine unless it´s an in-universe change, but that seemed unlikely as the two words are only partially synonyms and "numeric" doesn´t cover the electronics development like "digital" does, so i thought i should tell you.
Comments from author:
Thank you Spica.

Translation oopsie indeed, thanks for pointing it.
Review By [Spica] • Date [9 Mar 13] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The Calling (Part II)" from Panaka
Great chapter.

No complaints. Well, Lorne not reading Dawn. The headache would have been of eppic proportions.

Just about everything else I liked. The sword makes Lothos a credble thread, despite a partially awakened Ishtar and Soon to be powered up Dawn. So that is good. Nice short fight scene and Lisa forcing herself to grow up with the mercy kill. Any visual refrence to what her "battle dress" looks like?

The online scene is nice, with Willows introduction and the clues to her being Mercury.

Loved the Caritas scene and the internal scene with auntie Ishtar telling her niece to go stand in the corner. Still to bad Dawn didn't hum a few notes.

Lisa's japanese Raksha girlfriend will shit bricks once she finds out who Lisa really is.

Edit: There may be anti-vampire bullets around in rifle calibres. The British used a round with white phosphor for their early war fighter plane mounted machine guns (.303 calibre I think, which is a rifle round) before they switched to .50 M2 browning and 20mm Hispano. There are also incendiary and armor piercing incendiary (API) rounds in .308 (7.62mm NATO) and .223 remmington (5.56mm NATO), according to google. Tracers might also work. Tracers aren't restricted, but the rest will be millitairy and law enforcement only and the old .303 stuff will be rare as hell.
Comments from author:
Thank you Panaka,

Lorne's reaction is based on Ereshkigal's reputation in Sumerian/Babylonian mythology. It's on the level of Hel's for the Norse.

About the bullets: true, there are things that can certainly be used (I read some things about a shotgun round called Dragon's breath for example) and that's why I had Joyce tell about a sufficient size/reliability ratio (according to her standards in 1995).

However, in this story, weapon technology in 2012 is similar to the one in the RPG Cyberpunk 2020, so things are different now.

EDIT: I forgot your question about visual reference regarding Ishtar's armor. Unfortunately no direct visual reference but the basic idea is a mix between a Golden Saint armor and the typical Witchblade outfit
Review By [Panaka] • Date [9 Mar 13] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The Calling (Part II)" from Destrark
Very good, that makes Ishtar and Kali awakened... love the complexities, but when will that Oh My Goddess/Hellmouth crossover and the massive macross/Tenchi Muyo/ other anime/Buffy/Stargate crossover be updated?
Comments from author:
Thank you Destrark

Unfortunately, not in the immediate. My plans are at least to finish the current arc for this story, then I will go back to the OMG/BTVS crossover.
Review By [Destrark] • Date [9 Mar 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The Calling (Part II)" from (Recent Donor)tammin
Dear Lord! The Feels Man, The Feels! This chapter was good, with enough detail that if someone, who didn't know the bakground, could follow along and appreciate the story so far. However, the ending of the chapter with the first henshin of Venus, and then the regression back into Istar, was outstanding. I can't wait for the next chapter, and yet I know that the wait will only enhance to enjoyment as you spend the time to correctly build the confrontation with Lothos and we get to see the Summers women all kick ass as a family bonding moment.
Comments from author:
Thank you, tammin

I'm watching Blue Exorcist these days, so you can have a guess about what I'm preparing for the battle with Lothos.
Review By [(Recent Donor)tammin] • Date [9 Mar 13] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The Calling (Part II)" from (Moderator)acs
Yes! Probably the best Magical Girl transformation scene I've ever read. The way it switches midstream from Venus to Ishtar works really well.

Actually, the whole chapter is excellent.

Interesting that Dawn and Lisa-Buffy have Willow (I'm assuming that is still Willow) pegged as Mercury already.

Am I correct in that this is only the 5th Senshi named so far? Saturn, Chibi Moon, Pluto, Venus, and now Mercury. I suspect we've also met Mars.

Poor Merrick. He still dies. But nice to see he could see the bigger picture.

And like all good action scenes, I need more :-) More Lisa-Buffy as she rescues Dawn and Joyce. (well, rescue Joyce in the sense that hopefully she gets to Lothos first. I suspect Buffy is underestimating her mother.)

Stopping at that point is actually the perfect way to end a chapter but Argh! It was like crashing into a wall because I want to know what happens next.

And now, I think a reread of the whole story so far is in order to see what I missed.
Comments from author:
Thank you, acs.

You are correct in your assumptions for the known Senshi, though Mercury remains to be officially confirmed. I won't confirm or deny anything about Mars at this point :-)

Sometimes, I muse about doing a 'Wish' episode exchanging the Joyce from this story with the canon one.
Review By [(Moderator)acs] • Date [9 Mar 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The Calling (Part II)" from AlphaBeta
Another awsome chapter! Cannot wait for the next update! Though I hope it will be for TTC, if its not, and is for this story, I would not mind that at all. Update soon!
Comments from author:
Thank you AlphaBeta,

The next update will be for this chapter as it wouldn't do to leave this arc hanging like this.
Review By [AlphaBeta] • Date [9 Mar 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The Calling (Part I)" from tomfo
This was great, I really liked the Lisa/Kokoa scene. The switch from Charlie Baltimore to Jane Smith was a nice touch for the Kyrie comparison. Thanks for another great chapter and I really hope you have more for us soon.

EDIT: I know thats why you changed it and that is what makes you one of my favourite authors(your attention to the smaller details), too many others make all these grand sweeping changes and don't bother trying to factor in how much they will change events and peoples responses to events. For example one author has the halloween event in season 3 and still has Buffy dressing up for Angel despite the season 2 ending. Blegh.
Comments from author:
Thanks tomfo.

On Charlie Baltimore: In the last version, I used Charlie Baltimore because 'A long kiss goodnight' was a recent movie in 1996. For this one, set up in 2012, Mr. and Mrs. Smith made more sense.

RE: EDIT: thank you. World-building is an essential phase of a crossover for me. Different forces in presence must have consequences. Not necessarily evident ones, but they should be here for the crossover universe to feel more real. Likewise, all those small details are for me an essential part of the picture, the thing that help you think "I can believe this". Of course, there is a downside to the attention to detail: if you're not lucky enough to know the subject well, you have to do research.
Review By [tomfo] • Date [23 Feb 13] • Not Rated
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