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Review of chapter "Chapter One" from (Current Donor)Katrina
Review:
The ending to this one left me so I actually had to step away from the keyboard for a bit. I frankly don't know what to say. You already knew what I was rooting for and this was, essentially, the exact opposite, so there's that.

I do like Faith as Dana, as I tend to enjoy that spin. I think Faith as SuperSoldier actually does make some sense, though others have critiqued the suggested outcomes. On the other hand, I also think you probably could have kept her as the Slayer and still have changed the world around so, that's another 2 cents in the wishing fountain.

I really, really personally would have rather you'd gone with the happy ending; as I suspect there would have been loads of redemption going on for a lot of people, Xander included. Especially with the reveal that he was, in fact, being unduly influenced.

That said, thank you for sharing the story. I may not be as enthusiastic as I usually am about this remarkable run of stories, but I am so very glad I read them.
Comments from author:
Thank-you.

Unfortunately the original ending didn't really solve anything, it just put it off. With this story I was really hoping to draw a line under Faith's past so I could get back to the original idea for the stories...I mean everyone suffers from mission creep.

This way I explain Faith's past in such a way that she's not charged with murder a long with a lot of other people.

Anyway, in a month or two I'll be posting the next Fita story which I hope you'll find more to your liking.

Cheers,
D.
Review By [(Current Donor)Katrina] • Date [28 Feb 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Xovervore
Review:
WTF!!! When Xander shows up at the FBI spouting about vampires and slayers, they will think him Loony Tunes and immediately obtain a judge order sending him to a psychiatric hospital.
And what's with the Mutant Registration Act - that caused a civil war in X-Men. It will be even worse here - US government using slayers for their assassination sections will cause huge upheavals in the supernatural world - possibly even direct intervention from the PTB.
The supernatural evil heavyweights will be laughing.

Dave - take a rest to recover from this - it seems you have been possessed by the Xander character.:-). Then come back and fix this story - or mark it as a super-AU experiment.

Oh, I almost forgot - it is mentioned that the authorities know that Buffy saved the world - that's not going to earn her a sentence reduction - it is going to result in executive orders completely classifying and covering up everything -- the results will include Riley Finn remaining a Colonel (even getting a promotion).
Comments from author:
Note Giles concerns about Government and slayers.

As I say I'm resting the series for a while, but we will be back....perhaps Faith will wake up and find it was all a dream!?

Cheers,
D.
Review By [Xovervore] • Date [28 Feb 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Fourteen." from Greywizard
Review:
I have to say that I'm really quite disappointed in this story, since I had much greater expectations for it, given the other stories in the series.

The hand-waving explanation of Xander's betrayal of his friends seems almost like an afterthought and completely contradicts his established character, even if taken solely from the last two extraordinarily bad canon seasons. The fact that you have him acting like an evil caricature of Cletus, the slack-jawed yokel, does nothing to improve the story in any way. All you neglected to add was the "Bwah-ha-ha!" laugh.

And exactly what sort of documentation did Xander save and take with him which would make any government official or military officer give him any credibility regarding his claims? Any so-called evidence would also have to survive detailed inspection and numerous challenges that any semi-competent defense attorneys would raise regarding substantiating proof of his claims after six years had elapsed, as well as the fact that the town where the alleged crimes had occurred had disappeared in what certainly looked to be a natural disaster of epic proportions, thereby eliminating any possibility of verification of said claims.

Buffy going to prison for a year, and Riley and his boss being forced to retire would seem to indicate that Xander provided ironclad proof of some sort, but I can't really think of what, exactly, he'd be able to offer the government other than so-called eyewitness testimony, and that's not anything that's going to be simply accepted and acted upon in such a manner without additional proof.

Further, your declaration that Willow would submit meekly to any government group basically contradicts Willow's established character of wanting to be in control at all times, whenever possible, and ignores the fact that she's capable of teleporting herself out of any cell she might be locked in, that she coudl use magic to make herself invisible to escape, that she's more than capable (and has an established canon record) of modifying memories to suit her own convenience. Getting arrested by the federal government is certainly something she'd at least find inconvenient, so I can't accept her simply remaining in custody and not doing anything.

Also, I have to wonder what sort of witch/warlock/sorcerer or mystical artifact it is that the US Army/government employs/possesses that would make Willow accede to their demands that she only use minor spells, which she would record in a 'diary' they required her to keep. He/she/it would have to be a *very* big mystical stick, and one capable of preemptively smacking her down, if she decided to not comply with her sentence.

Also, why wouldn't Willow simply do the 'reality reset' spell again, and this time being more specific regarding the sort of results she wanted to end up with? The Willow you showed us in the early parts of this story, and earlier stories, was certainly someone wouldn't hesitate to do exactly that sort of thing.

Further, Maggie being responsible for Faith's superhuman abilities and supposedly showing up in Sunnydale as the next Slayer completely ignores the fact that the Watchers Council would be showing up the day after her appearance, wanting to determine the circumstances surrounding her Calling. They were apparently quite capable of locating whichever unfortunate girl was Called after the current Slayer's death, since Faith's canon Watcher was able to locate her easily enough after Kendra's death, and any inconsistencies or contradictions to what they knew about Kendra's death would be noted immediately. There are several other problems with suggesting that Faith was Maggie's creation, as has been pointed out by other reviewers, so I'll let them pass. Having Faith end up as Dana Taker is also rather iffy, but I'll just ignore that since it's only a minor problem.

All in all, I ended up with the impression that you grew tired of writing this story and simply jotted down the first thoughts that came into your mind, in order to complete this particular story, since things seemed to simply appear as needed to further the storyline, and I'm disappointed because the other stories have been quite enjoyable.
Comments from author:
Some of what you point out is quite true, other points I've answered in other replies.

I've come to the conclusion that its time to get back to basics with this series. From the next story, 'You're a great deal of trouble, Miss Lehane' I'm concentrating on Faith's actions and only have one other Sunnydale character making occasional appearances where her skill set is required. Of course I'll have to address the fall-out from this story, but after that its going to be Faith kicking ass and taking names.

Cheers,
D.
Review By [Greywizard] • Date [28 Feb 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Fourteen." from AllenPitt
Review:
Wow, you went for the unhappy ending. Ouch. I have the feeling I should recognize the situation Xander ended up in, but it didn't ring a bell. So he lived happily ever after?.... My bet is Willow doesn't suicide, she tends to externalize her rage/grief. She'll either find and shoot Xander or 'do a spell' --that's how she always tries to fix problems.
** How in the world did the gov. get convictions on all that stuff, on Xander's unsupported word? Just wondering.
Comments from author:
Sorry I missed replying to your review!

To answer your last question; as has recently happened in the UK one person speaking out can open the flood gates!

At least that's my explanation and I'm sticking to it!

Cheers,
D.
Review By [AllenPitt] • Date [28 Feb 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Fourteen." from djhardim
Review:
Currently, Willow is working with DC Comics. She is involved with plans to revamp and relaunch the entire line of comics.

In the end when it comes to magic, Willow is a greenhorn.

It would be ironic if Amy goes to work for the government in the new continuity.

After hearing Xander's testimony regarding the Council's treatment of Slayers, the government officials were left with one question in their minds - 'Would I trust these idiots with my little girl?' The answer - 'No, not now, not ever.'

For future stories, I think it would be best if you concentrated on Faith, and forget the Scoobies all together.

What happened to the book? Shortly after Xander left, lightning struck the house and burned it to the ground, destroying the book in the process.
Comments from author:
Actually you seem to be able to read my mind!

In future I think I will concentrate on Faith as that was what the original idea was. In the original one-shot story 'it makes a fella proud to be a soldier' I even wrote the Scoobies out only to bring them back later.

I've been thinking about where I'm going with this a lot in the last few days, and I think I know what to do with it.

Cheers,
D.
Review By [djhardim] • Date [28 Feb 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Fourteen." from Mcspender
Review:
"Thou hast obeyed the Law. But mark well, when thou receivest good, so equally art bound to return good threefold." (For this is the joke in witchcraft, the witch knows, though the initiate does not, that she will get three times what she gave, so she does not strike hard.)
"High Magic's Aid" Gerald Gardner's 1949.

Couldn't read the last four chapters until now, thanks to my ISP and their draconian payment politics when it comes to make a new contract... yeah, the check really was on the mail and they misplaced it, yeah right xD.
Ok, let me tell ya, this is one cool tale dude, congratulations. Too bad that Willow's cowardice basically destroyed hers and her friends lives, but that's Murphy fer ya.
The Law of threefold return hit her at full power, and yeah, my vote goes for letting her live and learn.
Cool fic dude, see ya!!!.
Comments from author:
Thank you. People seem to forget about that 'three fold rule'.

Cheers,
D.
Review By [Mcspender] • Date [28 Feb 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Fourteen." from JasonBarnett
Review:
terrible ending. Your justification of Faith as Dana is weak as hell, along with why she stayed with the Mayor. The Mayor was already invulnerable when Faith went to work for him. Assassination was out. Which means she should have been pulled back immediately before any sort of emotions would have been felt. And would the people Walsh was working for leave an unexploded bomb in the hands of the bad guys? If Walsh didn't care about Faith anymore, and knew she couldn't be controlled why didn't someone have her shot? Or blow up her apartment.
Comments from author:
I applaud your right to comment even if I think your comment is wrong.

Cheers,
D.
Review By [JasonBarnett] • Date [28 Feb 13] • Rating [1 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Fourteen." from GreydonCreed
Review:
Willow (and the rest of the Scoobies and Council) have forgotten or never really learned rule number one of magic: All magic has a cost. And when that magic not only affects an unknowing person directly AND the rest of the world as well, the results should be no surprise. Keep in mind, while the spell did achieve it's intended purpose, it massively backlashed against everyone that knew about Faith's condition and did nothing to correct it. And even with that backlash, no one died as a result, which was kind of a surprise, Willow's actions at the end of the last chapter not withstanding.

The major question now is if Faith Lehane really is Dana Trasker? Is there another, REAL, Dana out there, dead or otherwise, and Faith was dropped into her place? Or did the spell essentially come up with the events AND THE PEOPLE from True Lies to fit Faith into it? Because when you think about it, that would mean not only forming an entire intelligence agency and the people staffing it (Omega Section) out of whole cloth, there was an actual nuclear weapon detonated in the Florida Keys as a result of the terrorist actions in True Lies. Also, will Faith and ASID be working with Omega Section, with both the Traskers and Uncle Spencer not so subtly trying to recruit Faith?

I must admit that I am not happy about this episode of FitA, especially with Xander turning out to be the not so competent Big Bad. Because when it is all said and done, this story proves that Buffy and the other Scoobies were right - that as a normal human, Xander should have stayed out of the fight, that he was not strong enough to withstand what he went through while protecting others, and in the end, he would be known not for saving people but for taking vengeance against people that made questionable decisions under high stress and duress.

Look forward to more of your work.
Comments from author:
Thanks.

Faith is really Dana and yes Omega Sector (Sector is what it says in the film...I know I thought Section would make more sense!). So all of the events in True Lies happened.

Major lesson from this story; I'm NEVER putting Xander in a story again as anything other than a bit part player, the guy who comes to fix things after the monsters have gone away. You can never please everyone which is a pity because Xander is a fun character to work with, although I've never been happy with the way I've written him. I'll probably get into trouble for saying this!

I expect ASID will do some work with Omega, but Faith's army and is likely to stay that way.

Cheers,
D.
Review By [GreydonCreed] • Date [28 Feb 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Fourteen." from Misty
Review:
Wow! That was f***ing amazing! I'd love to say I'm sorry you're getting bored of the series but with how much of this series you've done... A break from it may get you unbored of it ;) Thank you for an amazing story & I can't wait for what you do next x
Comments from author:
Thank-you.

I know you can't please all the people all of the time but I was beginning to feel I'd screwed up big time.

Yep a change is as good as a rest and I really want to do this version of Faith justice.

Cheers,
D.
Review By [Misty] • Date [28 Feb 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Fourteen." from Thedruid
Review:
Huh, exchanged the tragic and stupid ending fir one charcter for utterly tragic ending for another, and troublesome endings for many others. Though only stupid in this one aspect; if Willow cast the reality change spell, shouldn't she remember both changed and unchanged past? As well as hold the focus of said spell, one that she could destroy and break the spell?
Comments from author:
'...shouldn't she remember both changed and unchanged past?' Well no how would she? To her nothing has changed. That's not to say she won't notice later on.

Cheers,
D.
Review By [Thedruid] • Date [28 Feb 13] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Fourteen." from (Current Donor)MarcusRowland
Review:
Really wasn't expecting that - be very interested to see what happens next, but I understand completely if you want to give it a rest.
Comments from author:
Thanks.

I have in fact four FITA stories finished and still to post, I just need to rewrite bits to make them fit with the new reality.

However, like I say I've really got to get away from this version of Faith for awhile.

Cheers,
D.
Review By [(Current Donor)MarcusRowland] • Date [28 Feb 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Fourteen." from Rich
Review:
I didn't rate this because I can't make up my mind about it. On the one hand, it was very well done. On the other, you've basically turned the whole series upside down, and I liked it the way it was. I know the feeling of not really wanting to keep doing the same old thing, but sometimes the same old thing was pretty good. I guess we'll just have to see where the story goes from here.
Comments from author:
I'm sorta sitting there with a future Fita story and I've got nothing!

I really don't know whats going to happen next, although putting everything back as it was or near as it was seems a bit of a cheat.

Never liked 'fluffy bunny' endings.

However this isn't the end and once I've worked out what the story arc is going to be Faith and co will be back.

Cheers,
D.
Review By [Rich] • Date [28 Feb 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Fourteen." from (Current Donor)JanessaRavenwood
Review:
This...really doesn't make sense.

A) Why not just break the spell? If things turned out this badly, just reset/cancel her reset. Or cast it again and direct it to put things back the way they were.

B) How exactly does the military/government think they can actually *enforce* any judgments on Willow? As one of the most powerful witches in the world, she just rolls over and meekly submits to all this because...why? And her "spell log" - how exactly would they *know* if/when she was casting spells? Did they suddenly get a "spell detector" app for their cell phones?

Bad ending here, really - it just makes no sense at all.
Comments from author:
Willow doesn't reset the reset because she does know there's anything to resent. She thinks this is how things are supposed to be and the world changed before she'd really thought overly much about re-writing history.

Yep the 'stop using magic' thing could be considered weak, but no weaker than stuff that was thought up on the actual series. I also intend to push Willow's restrictions in later stories, it's one of the things I've got to think about.

Cheers,
D.
Review By [(Current Donor)JanessaRavenwood] • Date [28 Feb 13] • Rating [1 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Fourteen." from (Current Donor)Sithspit
Review:
I think you missed something important; you said:

"Willow was only slightly put out that Buffy hadn’t named her daughter after Faith."

Um...she DID name her daughter after Faith.
Comments from author:
Yep 'hadn't' instead of 'had', I'll try and go back and change that.

Cheers,
D.
Review By [(Current Donor)Sithspit] • Date [28 Feb 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Fourteen." from TaraLi
Review:
Honestly, I hope you branch away from this, before this - turning this into an AU. It's been so long since I watched the canon that I can't completely argue with your approach to Xander, but it's not one I'm comfortable with.

I don't think I can see Willow trying to do the world-change spell again - at this point, I project the sound of a pistol discharging is way too likely for my tastes - though I'm not sure how that would affect Faith when she learns of it.

But, over all, this does feel like a veer in another direction for the general flow of the stories so far - stories I have greatly enjoyed.
Comments from author:
Actually, this allows me to get back to the original thrust of the series. Faith in the US Army. I felt I was getting away from that original vision.

This clears away some characters and explains why Faith is like she is while sill making it believable (IMHO) with canon...or maybe cannon I forget which.

The next Fita story shows Faith doing what she does best, kicking ass and taking names!

Cheers,
D.
Review By [TaraLi] • Date [28 Feb 13] • Not Rated
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