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The Key To Marauding

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Review of chapter "Sick Cycle Carousel" from Chikageko
near the end of chapter five you made two serious errors. I'm not sure how far you've read but blast ended screwts are sterile magical constructs that were brought into being as orrigional creations durring harry's time at hogwarts by hagrid himself. the second error is why i asked you how far along in the orrigionals you were at the time you wrote this chapter. durring harry and sirius's time the potions teacher was a benign walrus of a slytherine named slughorn, though i'm sure you know that by now. otherwise you've put together quite a story so far; ignoring the above mentioned complaints you seem well worthy of the awards you have been given.
Review By [Chikageko] • Date [9 Dec 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Throw Your Arms Around Me" from MarcusSLazarus
OK, no two ways about it; THAT was good.

I have to admit, when I first started reading this, I found the whole concept a bit questionable. I mean, I like Sirius and Remus as characters as much as anybody, but the idea of writing a complete story of this scale about them at this time in their lives is something I've never been entirely sure about; the general lack of most of the characters we know from the main series makes it a bit more challenging to write an effective story, in my opinion.

However, you put any concerns I might have had about the lack of most of the stars of the 'main' stories in this one to rest pretty rapidly. I've never thought much about what the characters would have been like at this time, but, if I had, they DEFINITELY would have been something like they were portrayed here; Peter more than a bit shy but nevertheless well-meaning, Sirius a bit of a player but a likeable guy for all that, James occasionally arrogant but always willing to go that extra mile for his friends and family, and Remus tortured by his secret and wanting, more than anything, to be accepted by his peers.

Then, of course, Dawn's status as the Fifth Marauder was an excellent little touch to the whole storyline. Best of all, it happened naturally; you didn't have anybody suddenly deciding she was the group's newest addition, she didn't force her way in, and she didn't go out of her way to get the 'position'.

She just... got it, and that was all there was to it.

Oh, and the Scoobies' encounters with the Hogwarts gang worked well as well; I particularly liked Spike commenting to Lucius that he wouldn't rape the bastard because he "[didn't] fancy having to remove the railroad spike already lodged up there anyway", and Willow's little lessons with Dumbledore about the nature of her magic added another interesting little touch in terms of plot depth.

However, the crowning glory of it all has to be Dawn's relationships with Sirius and James; she finds in Sirius someone who would do anything for her no matter what's happened to them (Him sneaking out as Padfoot to find her despite their argument is proof enough of that), and finds in James someone who accepts her as a sibling despite her 'odd' past (To say the least).

I think that was one reason I 'liked' (As a plot moment, of course; the actual ACT I hated) the part where Lucius tried to rape Dawn; the aftermath DEFINITELY showed how highly the Marauders value their friendship with her (Plus, of course, it provided a very interesting 'origin' for the Marauder's Map; congratulations on that front).

My only flaw is that Voldemort's attempts to claim the Key seemed to suddenly be cut short after Dawn was rescued from the Death Eaters; I wouldn't have thought he'd stop trying after just ONE failure.
Then again, maybe Dawn's Fidelus Charm made him forget all about the Key's entire existence in the first place, or maybe he decided he'd prefer to wait until he had a more clear idea what he'd use the Key's energies FOR when he had them.

In any case, looking forward to the sequel; should be interesting to see how things go when Dawn meets Harry.

(Any chance we can have the Scoobies making a return visit to this reality, or would that be too risky?)
Review By [MarcusSLazarus] • Date [22 Nov 08] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Throw Your Arms Around Me" from rebeccakelsey
I enjoyed this so much! I've been reading it on and off all week.
Review By [rebeccakelsey] • Date [19 Jul 08] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Throw Your Arms Around Me" from spikeismine
That was AWESOME I loved it. I especially liked it when Spike confronted Lucius, that was brilliant. I can't wait to read the sequel. Great job.
Review By [spikeismine] • Date [18 Apr 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Estranged" from SpacedCadet
I loved this story, but I don't understand why Buffy can't visit!

Willow demonstrably has the power to bring people back and forth between the Buffyverse and the Potterverse, so even if she has to rest up before the return trip, they should be able to get together at least occasionally.

It just seems like they should be treating this as "Dawn lives in a foreign country far away", not as "we'll never see Dawn again".
Review By [SpacedCadet] • Date [22 Mar 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Undertow" from spikeismine
Awesome, very well done.
Review By [spikeismine] • Date [27 Jan 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Throw Your Arms Around Me" from angeluscado
beautiful, beautiful story. I loved it to pieces; it had everything! It had action, it had romance, it had tragedy. It made me laugh, it made me cry. This fic is definitely in my top five favourite fics of all time. Good job!
Review By [angeluscado] • Date [29 Dec 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "My Own Worst Enemy" from BlameyFomorrii
"“Ok,” Remus sighed. “Put your begging faces on, boys. We’re going to see McGonagall.”"

---I love Remus.

I'm really happy that Dawn stood up to the Marauders for Snape. Perhaps they shall refrain from their Angelus-like behaviour now.
Review By [BlameyFomorrii] • Date [21 Dec 07] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "3AM/Must Be Lonely" from BlameyFomorrii
I loved Sirius's hesitant confession at the end of the chapter and Dawn's subtle hints about her and Sirius's flirting game.

Great chapter.
Review By [BlameyFomorrii] • Date [21 Dec 07] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "May It Be" from BlameyFomorrii
"“Yes,” Dawn said defensively, looking back at her teacup. “I don’t care if it’s fat and ugly and slow, and friendless and it probably has really low self-esteem ’cause it’s crap. I love you, little dumpy teacup,” she said, patting the handle affectionately."

---God, I actually lol'ed. Sweet little Dawn. I want a self-esteem issue tea cup, too!

"“Well that’s ok, because I think Peter’s sweet, too,” Dawn said, shooting a warm grin over to the chubby boy.

Peter went from pink to red, but paled considerably a moment later when he caught the icy glare Sirius was aiming squarely at him, and the almost possessive hand he’d rested on Dawn’s waist."

---Poor Wormtail. No wonder he turns to the dark lord. He's the pathetic little tag along that's the butt of every joke. Poor, pathetic teacup boy.

I thought that's where you got the Newman from, but wasn't sure.
"Dawn’s face fell. So this is what it felt like to be Anya?"---That's a cute line.
Review By [BlameyFomorrii] • Date [19 Dec 07] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Crush" from BlameyFomorrii
Yes, Sirius, Think unsexy thoughts.

Poor, sweet innocent Dawn doesn't realize how drives Sirius wild in a very un-child like way.

Loved this chapter, especially the snippets from Sirius's POV.
Review By [BlameyFomorrii] • Date [18 Dec 07] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Sick Cycle Carousel" from BlameyFomorrii
I am really loving this story! Feel a bit bad for Snape. I have the feeling that Malfoy put him up to that little stunt.

It's strange-I usually don't like reading Dawn centered stories, but this is such excellent work, I can't stop.

I like the crush Sirius seems to have on Dawn. Adorableness!
Review By [BlameyFomorrii] • Date [18 Dec 07] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Sick Cycle Carousel" from NaiveGhost
Okay now I feel like a big nit-picker .... but I believe Hagrid "invented" the Blast-Ended Skrewts by cross breeding two different things, which there are laws against, the first or second year he taught Care of Magical Creatures.

Anyway everything else is good!

Keep writing!

Review By [NaiveGhost] • Date [26 Nov 07] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Silence" from NaiveGhost
So far so good!

I do have a problem with the boys looking at Thong underwear. This is supposed to be somewhere in the 1970's?
I just went and looked up "Thong Invention" and yes thongs have been around for quite a while they were not womens undergarments until the mid to late 1980's.

Also, shouldn't Dawn have a comment or two about the fashions? I mean she grew up with Buffy (and a little Cordy might have rubbed off too) so she should have an opinion about the fashions then. (Good or bad)

Keep writing!
Review By [NaiveGhost] • Date [26 Nov 07] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Throw Your Arms Around Me" from Bluejello
And, finally, the end of a wonderful story. You get bonus points for actually writing (and surviving the writing of) such an epic story. I loved it, and the little references and jokes to both series were great.
Review By [Bluejello] • Date [11 Sep 07] • Not Rated
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