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Immortal Instincts

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Review of chapter "chapter 4" from MarcD
Review:
That was a great chapter...though I do have one question...if Xander feels so strongly about dusting Angel(us) that he would even contemplate torturing him when he becomes human once again (which is completely undersatndable seeing as how he was tortured and killed by the vamp) then why does he have no apparent hostile feelings towards Drusilla...who was also present while he was being tortured for those 10 hours until he was killed.

Again, great chapter...I hope you get the next chapter out soon!

mjd
Comments from author:
Dru's making reparations for what she had done, not to mention that she was 'infected' with a soul, one that made her feel sorry, disgust, sickness and such for what she had done - on top of that, there's the whole Sire-Childe bond that Angelus had over Dru (not giving her an out, but it's something). Angel was going to be given a clean slate in that he wasn't going to have to do anything (even though he had anit-survival thoughts of staying in Sunnydale to 'help' Xander - not smart, not smart at all) but Dru's doing right by her second chance ... just as Deadboy may.
Review By [MarcD] • Date [29 Apr 05] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "chapter 4" from NoLifeKing
Review:
Great chapter! I like it that Amanda is with Xander. :-)
But I have thought that Xander would be able to differ between Angel and Angelus as a person. Why was Willow not disturbed by a man who offered her to damn someone in hell? I wonder what the devil wants with Angel?
Comments from author:
Thanks, and as far as Amanda and Xander are concerned, it's more of a friendship with lots of benefits kind of thing. If you had been tortured for ten hours and then killed, only to rise again as an Immortal, would you be willing to make a difference on who your murderer was, souled or unsouled? Probably not, but for this instance, I was looking to change that. As for Willow ... well, I doubt it's registered in her mind yet - Angel, though ... well, that's another story as far as Old Scratch is concerned.
Review By [NoLifeKing] • Date [29 Apr 05] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from WEMB
Review:
Liking how things are being pulled together. Looking forward to the next chapter. :)
Review By [WEMB] • Date [12 Feb 05] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Immortal Instincts, Kindred Spirits" from Wise
Review:
Xander is very, very OOC.
Also, character bashing is a huge turn-off for any kind of story.
Comments from author:
yes, yes he is - not saying that it's going to get changed, but would you at least read the rest of the fic? It gets better - there is, this time, a method to my madness.
Review By [Wise] • Date [12 Feb 05] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 2" from raven
Review:
Much fewer holes this time around. I like that Amanda is taking teaching tips from Methos rather than Duncan. Ultimate survivor would be better at it (even if canon hints that none of his students still live).

Go Xander! Popping his top right off. Glad Buffy was at least partially called on the hypocrisy of the soul argument. Now if only she is forced to apply soul=good and no soul=evil to humans...oops. Her head popped off. Must be a running theme...

Hm...what I remember from Kindred (the show not the game or books) you have to be brought over by a member of one of the clans. Luna's niece was not Kindred by relationship to him, but brought over after the fact so for Dru to be Kindred she can't be a remnant. Unless you are placing a schism in the bloodline? I can see the Aurelius line being of the Nosferatu clan (Daedelus did rather resemble the Master after all) but what of her killing Spike? And the changing faces? Or are those features going down to age?
Comments from author:
Like I've said before, I'm am _really_ trying to work on my characterizations of people as they were in that season, so thanks for this review. Methos is probably the better teachers of the three, and all I'm worried about right now is how Xander and he will get along if/when they meet.

As for Dru, well, I asked a question on XanderZone forum if it were possible to go from demonic vamp to Kindred, and they posed a few possible ways it could happen. Given that there is another fic, Fury of the Beast, on FF.Net, came up with a way to go from Kindred to demonic, I figured I'd try it this way. As for the features ... not sure - maybe an age thing, but some of it will be explained in the next part. Peace.
Review By [raven] • Date [3 Feb 05] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 2" from Caliadragon
Review:
I loved this chapter and the reintroduction of Buffy. I also loved the way that you had Xander and Amanda reacting to one another. I also loved the parts with Dru and the clan leader that looked like David.

thanks
Calia
Review By [Caliadragon] • Date [3 Feb 05] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Immortal Instincts, Kindred Spirits" from raven
Review:
"...there was not a single, solitary scar on his body." Assuming you are making him a "highlander" style immortal (as this chapter describes) this statement isn't possible. It was well-established in movie and tv canon that what happens before first death remains. In other words, any scars from his father in the last decade of mistreatment would still be around. However, the damage done by Angelus's and Dru's torture would be gone as these violent wounds led to his death and thus would be written off under his new immortality. You got it right later with his argument with Giles at Joyce's house, but this part implies that EVERY scar magically disappears.

Green Beret and Ranger? That seems like overkill. Most are better suited to one or the other.

*Police procedure calls for anything that is removed from the house to be documented and supervised. In other words, Xander would be escorted to his room and the officer/detective would have to watch what was taken. Even if it's just clothes, medicine, etc. It is possible he is knowingly or unknowingly taking evidence away from the scene of the crime, thus the supervision.

Giles has a tatoo on his left wrist, plus the tri-foil ledger...naughty Giles!

A few swaps (innocents for innocence) that need to be looked at, otherwise this looks good. So I assume the Watcher are a single entity with two branches?
Comments from author:
I've changed it in a revised edition of the first chapter (I'll upload it when I get the chance) as far as the scar issue - thanks for telling me that because I've heard the whole idea several ways. As for the Green Beret/Ranger issue, friend of mine went from Ranger to Green Beret, so I'm not going with overkill, just for well-roundedness.

As for the whole Police Procedure thing, you're right - I'm not a CJ major and by the time I realized this glaring oversite, I had already posted it, so I guess I'll have to work around it in later chapters, hopefully getting it right ... or blowing it off as Sunnydale PD stupidity.

Thanks for the reveiw.
Review By [raven] • Date [1 Feb 05] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Immortal Instincts, Kindred Spirits" from VillageOrchid
Review:
I'm enjoying the drama, plot and characterization here. You don't just spring "Buffy-hating-Xander" on us, you establish bitter-been tortured to death-Xander... a bit at a time.
As for Dru - yeah, you don't go from crazy to sane in one step -- she was driven insane while she was still alive. Very dark to have her as a protagonist/anti-hero but very good follow-through on all of your AU elements: Jenny still alive - Angelus the only one in Hell.
You also did a nice job of establishing some additional dimension to Xander and his background. We don't even know if the foe of his family's line even knew that Xander was an immortal or pre-immortal, but I think probably thought he was pre, as in stalk-you-much? He thought he was prepared. And it didn't matter to him that Xander was only adopted into the family line-- or elsewise he knows something about some pre-immortals that the others don't.
Likewise, picking up on the idea that a guy who has mentally delt with both being possesed and retaining memories of the possession -twice - is in a much better place to hold on and store the memories of an immortal through his quickening. Perhaps that's his "special" ability - -like how Ducan can sense pre-immortals and not all immortals can (at least not well), and others in the series who had unique mental gifts.
Thanks for sharing. Hope you don't kill Buffy.
Comments from author:
Thank you - as for the first 'evil' Immie, he was as much after Tony as Xander was a rather unexpected bonus; he figured that the kid would be easy pickings, but that's often a mistake that 'evil' (read: Stupid) Immortals often make ... and the reason so many of them die.

Dru, however, was a bit of a surprise with how well she seems to be evolving - by no means will she be like Angel was meant to be, the conquering, brooding hero with a dark past, but rather like an interesting mix of Malkavian (which she is not) with a touch of sanity.

Buffy is safe ... for the foreseeable future (to at least Graduation).
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [1 Feb 05] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Immortal Instincts, Kindred Spirits" from rennegades
Review:
An interesting idea, if a bit disconnected at points, though I look forwards to seeing more.

Just a nitpicky point here, about when Dru is praying. Given the era that she is from, she most likely would have prayed using the traditional "Holy Ghost" versus the current "Holy Spirit". This just has to do with the way languages change over time. At one time "Spirit" was "the essence of a departed person or a demonic or paranormal apparition" and "Ghost" was "the living essence of a person". [words taken directly from Pastor Walter Snyder's "Holy Spirit or Holy Ghost? A Spirited Comparision"]

Like I said, just being nitpicky; most people don't know the difference, so it doesn't really matter. S'just for historical accuracy ^_
Comments from author:
I'm working on the disconnected points, or at least I'm trying to (too many bunnies vying for attention, so some points slip). As for the 'holy ghost' thing, you're right - it'll be taken care of in a revised edition for the first chapter.
Review By [rennegades] • Date [1 Feb 05] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Immortal Instincts, Kindred Spirits" from Caliadragon
Review:
I love your style of writing and you are one of the few het/gen writers that I read religiously. I love the unique universes that you come up with and your characterization is incredible. I am normally a slasher, so that says a lot. I love your version of Dru in this fic. It was spot on with what I always figured would happen if her soul were to be returned. Both Spike and Angel suffered insanity when their souls were returned, so naturally for someone who is already insane, this would be a shattering blow.


I look forward to seeing what you come up with and what will happen with Xander.

Thanks
Calia
Review By [Caliadragon] • Date [31 Jan 05] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Immortal Instincts, Kindred Spirits" from matthew
Review:
Truthfully, I can't say that I like it. It doesn't read like a story, but more like a series of disconnected vignettes. Also, Xander seems to be very OOC. Just my opinion, though.

also, you've got it labelled as RPG when it should be highlander
Comments from author:
ah, okay, I will change that - thanks for the heads up. Well, it is a little disconnected, but hopefully that will come into alignment as we go.
Review By [matthew] • Date [31 Jan 05] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Immortal Instincts, Kindred Spirits" from CPTSkip
Review:
This is an excellent start to what appears to be interesting look at Xander the Immortal. I like your version of Dru also. I hope you write more as I would really like to know What Comes Next.
Review By [CPTSkip] • Date [31 Jan 05] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Immortal Instincts, Kindred Spirits" from Rivana
Review:
I like your Xander so far and your take on th whole immortal deal. I'm a but confused of the timeline of the other immortal finding Xander, killing his parents and leaving the sword, but that's a minor detail really. I'm very glad this isn't going to be a D/X story. Great writing looking forward to next time.
Comments from author:
Timeline is that Xander was captured by Angelus and Dru when Giles was supposed to be, roughly - Immortal had nothing to do with that and had killed Tony and Jessica about the same time Xander woke up; my take on the evil / stupid Immortal, really, especially with the fact I made Xander Irish (running out of things to make him - Sicilian, Irish via his mother, French via his father ... and another surprising one I have for another fic). Thanks.
Review By [Rivana] • Date [31 Jan 05] • Not Rated
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