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Yesterday's Sunrise

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Review of chapter "Part 5" from Booster
Review:
Sorry for the delay in reviewing, but I think it's definitely been worth it to read all the parts at one sitting. Very interesting idea for a crossover, and fits in well with what we know of both justice demons and Dawn's powers. Certainly, a massive world alteration like that would need a lot of power to shape precisely to that of what was wished for - the sheer power needed to ensoul all vampires for one would be beyond Halfrek I'd imagine. After all, Anya only created the Wishverse by changing one small detail.

Of course, that implies that Dawn gave of her power unwittingly to Halfrek to help create this world, which does make her the co-creator. Nice to see her come to terms with what she's done in the end - both the good points and the minuses. Now where she and Anya will go from here will be interesting. I shall look forward to seeing Dawn dealing close up and personal with the consequences of her wish.

Very enjoyable Houses - congrats.
Review By [Booster] • Date [3 May 05] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Part 5" from (Past Donor)Anneliese
Review:
I just read the whole thing today, it's very good. It was very creative for you to take the whole 'wish' thing as the catalyst for your crossing over of worlds. Anyway, I look forward to reading the up-coming installments.
Review By [(Past Donor)Anneliese] • Date [3 May 05] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Part 5" from (Past Donor)elementalv
Review:
*bounces* Yes! Excellent all the way around, especially with Dawn's recognition that her family is, indeed, that important to her. Will you start posting the next part soon? I'm jonesing for Ganya.
Review By [(Past Donor)elementalv] • Date [3 May 05] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Part 5" from justaguy
Review:
Ok, mixed feelings on this one.

On the one hand, you’ve created an interesting world to set future stories in. We’ll get the chance to see familiar characters in new settings, always one of the true pleasures of fanfiction. For the most part I like your characterization of Dawn. She’s matured, observant and actually thinks about what she is doing. Far too often in fanfiction, the intelligence Dawn displayed at he beginning of season five and the latter half of season seven is forgotten.

My only real disagreement with the story, and one that I suspect you may address in the sequels, is the price Dawn paid to create this world. As you said in response to several reviews, this world was created by a vengeance demon. They tend to extract a high price for their wishes (just look at what happened to Cordelia in the world she created). This world seems too good to have been crafted by a demon, particularly since you repeatedly state in the story how much D’Hoffren likes it.

Xander may be a high school drop out, but he still has a job, a girlfriend and a car he likes. Buffy is free from the Slayer and seems happy. Joyce is alive (which I like, since I love the character). Giles gets to play museum curator without having to hang out with annoying teenagers or get knocked unconscious every other night. Tara is free from her abusive family and alive.

It just seems like too many happy endings.

Only Willow died, before she was even born. And Dawn now has to contend with painful visitations from dead people. It’s just seems too good. It would have seemed more believable if other bad things had happened. Tara was still stuck with her abusive father. Giles hadn’t made it past his rebellious youth. Something that makes Dawn’s choice starker. The choice here seems be between Dawn and Willow vs the rest of the Scoobies. I think the story would have had more power if it had been Dawn, Willow and others (Xander, Giles) vs the rest of the Scoobies.

As I said, my guess is you’ll address some of this in the sequels. In which case, I take this back. You have created an interesting world. One that, to me, seems worth exploring. I look forward to seeing the next set of stories set within it.
Comments from author:
Fair comments all around, but yes, there are more consequences. And where people are in this stage of their lives is not it- everyone has to evolve. Let's just say this: the problems created in this world aren't all laid out on the table.

And D'Hoffryn wasn't inept enough to believe that Dawn would take that offer. Why make it then? This is one of the plot points in the next section. He wanted something from Dawn- something that her staying in this world gave him, even if she didn't work for him. Halfrek couldn't create this world by herself, she needed Dawn's help.

We'll see D'Hoffryin in the bluish flesh in the next installment. And Giles...I wouldn't be so sure about your statement regarding him. All Anya said is he was working in a London Museum.

Thanks for your commentary. I appreciate it.

houses
Review By [justaguy] • Date [3 May 05] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Yesterday's Sunrise" from JasonBarnett
Review:
I wish these reviews had a way to respond to comments from the author. I would not choose to live in a reality that existed only on a demon's whim. Hell, I'd worry that if I enjoyed it to much D'Hoffryn would undo it. And I do think Dawn realized the consequences, and that's why I declare her not a good person. I don't have any experience with the Anite Blake universe outside of crossovers, but the opinion I've gotten from those crossovers is I'd rather live in the Buffyverse. So I think she's condemning everyone in the world to a much worse existence.
Comments from author:
What's to say that the original BtVS universe wasn't created by a demon's whim ages ago? I think you should also read AB before making pronouncements like BtVS is better. I'm not sure I would agree. It's certainly different, but for the average citizen, it's much the same, except there are legal recourses against things that go bump in the night. Vampires have souls and don't ordinarly go about eating people. Werewolves aren't ravening creatures that rip up people on the full moon- not most of them. Demons like the ones you seen in BtVS don't exist- not really. In some ways the preternatural are more powerful, in others much weaker. I disagree with your statement I think she's condemning everyone in the world to a much worse existence. Rather vehemently, actually.

As for D'Hoffryn taking it back, unlikely. There are rules, and as far as I am concerned, the only way he'd break them is if Dawn joined his team. Do you think that would be good for her? That Dawn should have chosen to be a demon? What would that choice have done to Buffy?

If you wish to continue this argument, feel free to email me at houses7177 at gmail dot com.
Review By [JasonBarnett] • Date [3 May 05] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Part 5" from CPTSkip
Review:
Excellent work. I loved your alternate universe and how Dawn got there. I look forward to your next stories with a great deal of anticipation. I hope Dawn can meet Tara when she moves to St Louis and they become friends. All in all, except for losing Willow, I think Dawn's new universe is actually pretty good for her.
Comments from author:
Thank you- and yes, Dawn will meet up with Tara. That's one of her reasons for going there for gradschool, to see if she can 'meet' Tara again. Dawn's new universe gives her a new place in life, for sure. It may not be easier, but it certainly has more possibilities.
Review By [CPTSkip] • Date [3 May 05] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Part 5" from echo
Review:
This was a very clever set-up for the first story of a series. I eagerly await the next installment. I particularly loved Kit's inability to control her telekinesis. That was a very nice touch. I also liked that despite the fact that things were not exactly as Dawn would have had them, she weighed her options, and decided she couldn't kill her mother. She couldn't make Tara unhappy. She couldn't make her sister again bogged down with the duty of a slayer. Excellent writing here. I look forward to reading the other tales described in the notes.
Comments from author:
Thank you! I look forward to writing them! I think Joyce is a very strong influence in Dawn's life. Just look at the lengths she went to get her back. Now that she has her, a healthy her, do you think she could just let her go? I don't.
Review By [echo] • Date [3 May 05] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Part 5" from shimaspawn
Review:
We all make choices everyday, some for good some for ill. Dawn had a chance to change the world, to make as many of her friends as happy as possible. All good things come with a sacrifice, and though I know she will miss Willow, I can see why she let her go. All in all I enjoyed this fic and I await the sequels eagerly.
Comments from author:
Thank you. The sister of a slayer does understand sacrafice, but being the one to make it definitely changes a few things. Hope you like the next two tales.
Review By [shimaspawn] • Date [3 May 05] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Part 5" from Kneazles
Review:
The story is very good... one of my favorites... the two sequel stories sound intresting as well.. Good job and I can't wait to see what else you do.
Comments from author:
Thanks! I look forward to writing them. Heh.
Review By [Kneazles] • Date [3 May 05] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Part 5" from Stardust
Review:
It was interesting, I'm glad to see a fic where Dawn has grown up a bit, realizing that the world doesn't revolve around her but I also sense that she's maturing. She's accepting that she made a mistake but is willing to live with the consequences. A wonderful what if including Bizarro Sunnydale Anita Blake Style.

A little difficult to read for me because I haven't read many Dawn crossings recently, but still nicely thought out.
Comments from author:
She is maturing. She makes mistakes, a lot of them, but in this case she's owning up to them and trying to make the best of it. I like seeing her grow.

Thank you.
Review By [Stardust] • Date [3 May 05] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Yesterday's Sunrise" from JasonBarnett
Review:
A thought just occured to me after I wrote the comment good people don't just change realities. Dawn is the product of an altered reality. She exists because a group of monks cast a spell to hide the Key by transforming it into the Slayer's sister and changed people's memories. But in this reality, there is no Slayer, more than likely no Key, no hellgoddesses. Her wish should've wished herself out of existence.
Comments from author:
Let me just say one thing: This is a vengeance wish. They don't have to use logic. Or, at least, your logic.
Review By [JasonBarnett] • Date [3 May 05] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Part 5" from JasonBarnett
Review:
Bleh. Horrible ending. Definately not reading the sequels. Good people don't just randomly change realities.
Comments from author:
If you think Dawn made that choice without realizing the consequences or caring about what she did, you may not have read closely enough. If you think the decision isn't going to affect what she does in the future, how she relates to people, and how people relate to her, then you are spectacularly wrong. Just because Dawn couldn't choose to kill her mother again, doesn't make her not a 'good person'. It makes her human, overwhelmed, and wanting a safe place.

Tell me, if you were in her shoes, would she allow her mother to die, what about Anya? Buffy to be miserable? Her life to be back to the nothing that it was? Could you? Maybe. You also have to remember that at this point in the series, Dawn is furious with Willow- who very nearly killed her with carelessness. I'm not sure everyone would agree with you that things should be undone, even with the trials and tribulations of Dawn's new life.

I wish I could say I was sorry you didn't enjoy this story. To a certain extent I am. But I think I'm going to chalk this up to 'can't please everyone' and leave it at that.

houses
Review By [JasonBarnett] • Date [3 May 05] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Part 4" from echo
Review:
This is shaping up to be very good. Every part holds another little secret. Excellent work. I like the pacing and the "changes" to the universe. I like how you have Dawn warring with herself on the benefits and drawbacks of this world. Again... excellent work. I look forward to watching this story unfold.
Comments from author:
Thank you. THis part of Dawn's story is almost wrapped up, so stay tuned for the next two parts in the series.
Review By [echo] • Date [2 May 05] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Part 4" from Lilly
Review:
nice, nice. *g* can't wait for more. :)
Comments from author:
And more you shall have!
Review By [Lilly] • Date [2 May 05] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Part 4" from spacey
Review:
i was so sure at first that joyce was engaged to edward and i could feel the terror starting in my belly. he would know right off that something was wrong with dawnie... she was suddenly the real dawn and all perceptive and shit and ooo, the trouble that would have caused!
Comments from author:
Yes, I do love a good herring. I was wondering if anyone's mind would go there.

houses
Review By [spacey] • Date [1 May 05] • Not Rated
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