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Jedi Harris

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Review of chapter "Decisions - Part Three" from Zeviz
Review:
Thank you for writing this enjoyable story.
Review By [Zeviz] • Date [12 Apr 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Decisions - Part Three" from zonianx
Review:
Excellent story. I just reread it, and it was the perfect read while laying in a hammock drinking rum and coconut drinks. Thanks for the entertainment.
Review By [zonianx] • Date [6 Jan 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Decisions - Part One" from DieselDriver
Review:
Poor Poor Sam. Poor poor frustrated Sam... LOL
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [22 Dec 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Looking At The Horizon - Part Two" from DieselDriver
Review:
I thought about mentioning that LA is west, not east as Capt. B does but decided alternate realities and all that, but in our dimension, he's right. Except that there is nothing west of LA except water. Santa Barbara, Ventura and Oxnard are all somewhat north of a line directly west of LA. The Left Coast of the U.S. has this peculiarity you see. If you look at a globe or a good map and follow the longitude line from Reno, NV to the south you will see that Reno is west of Los Angeles. Greater LA is on the west coast though. Nothing directly west of it till you get WAY out (discounting the Channel Islands, which are mostly north of the latitude of Los Angeles). Another peculiarity of the Left Coast is that while it's a 400 mile drive from Los Angeles north to San Francisco, SF is still closer to the Hawaiian Islands than Los Angeles due to the coasts curving east as you go south even though the H.I.'s are quite a bit south of L.A. Again, looking at the map since you said he went out to a place just north of Victorville, I imagine that the lights in the sky that Xander saw was probably Barstow which is east of the line straight north from Victorville.

Reason for this review is that Giles should go too. There was another fanfic that was quite good that has him becoming an analog of the Spellsinger. That would be cool to incorporate at least Giles singing into this visit to Carritas'. I have to wonder what "The Host" would see for him if he sang.

Something else in word usage that bothers me a bit. Earlier on you said "football pitch". I've NEVER heard anyone say anything other than "football field". Also span is used where I would expect spun. I surmise that you may have grown up in Great Brittan?
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [22 Dec 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Too Dry For Dagobah" from (Current Donor)CaptainBoulanger
Review:
Very, very good story. One slight fact-check type quibble; in the scene when Doyle is out in the desert and knows the direction due to the direction of the glow of Los Angeles on the horizon....

First, LA is on the western coast, and it would not be possible for it to be on the eastern horizon unless you're in the southern part of Santa Barbara or Ventura Counties, which are not desert, but are in fact rather suburban areas of the coastal plain, and indeed, this area includes the likely location of Sunnydale itself (given various details of the town, it is likely located somewhere very close to Point Conception). The desert areas of California are generally east of the coastal mountain range (LA being located in the largest section of the coastal plain west of said mountains), and the closest portion of the desert to LA would be to the northeast (near Palmdale/Lancaster), so LA would be on the southwestern horizon (assuming it could be seen at all due to the mountains).

Second, I question using LA at all in this role; there's large towns, air force bases, etcetera, out in that desert (or near it) that would themselves make more sense as the town on the horizon. Barstow, perhaps, or Palm Springs/Indio, or even Victorville/Adelanto/Apple Valley, Ridgecrest, or Yucca Valley. Possibly also military bases including Edwards AFB, Fort Irwin, China Lake, and Marine Base Twenty-Nine Palms. In some areas there would also be mountains visible (the Coast Range), which could themselves be the landmark Doyle would refer to; in most of the desert, these would be to the south and/or west.
Review By [(Current Donor)CaptainBoulanger] • Date [22 Dec 13] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Graduation Day - Part One" from DieselDriver
Review:
The mayor is going to get a big bang out of their surprise.
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [21 Dec 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Threads - Part Two" from DieselDriver
Review:
My wife tells me that "lying" is correct in your usage. I am from So Cal and it looks wrong to me. "Laying" seems more correct to me. I'm probably wrong since I went to So Cal schools and she went to a catholic school in Wisconsin.
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [21 Dec 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Threads - Part One" from DieselDriver
Review:
There are several places where funny wordings are used throughout the previous chapters. I haven't said anything because they seemed minor but this "a stop sign changed from green to red" is just coo coo. Stop SIGNS don't change color. Traffic signals change color but stop signs are always red. Someone was just a scribbling away and it got missed in the editing right? Blame the beta's... LOL

This is such a cool story though.
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [21 Dec 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Take The Test - Part One" from DieselDriver
Review:
Oh come on... That would be easy. Just wait for it to open it's mouth and then shoot it with a laws rocket.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M72_LAW
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [21 Dec 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Tricks And Traps - Part Two" from DieselDriver
Review:
Wesley may be a pillock but I have to agree with him about cars with automatic transmissions. Bleh! You have so much better control of your car when you have a manual trans and know how to use it properly.
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [21 Dec 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Watchers And Ceremonies - Part One" from DieselDriver
Review:
I'm sorry but I have no idea what this means nor if it has any significance in the story at all:

" E.H. Shepard picture of Owl, or rather Wol, on one side, with the inscription “HIPY PAPY BTHUTHDTH THUTHDA BTHUTHDY” on the other."

Looked up E.H. Shepard on Google but didn't find anything other than he did illistrations for comics and did Pooh.

On the other hand, wasn't Oloong a pig character in Dragon Ball Z?
Comments from author:
It's from the original Winnie the Pooh stories by AA Milne. It's what Owl wrote on the side of the jar that eventually contained Eeyore's balloon. http://www.just-pooh.com/owl.html
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [21 Dec 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Battling The Dark Side - Part One" from DieselDriver
Review:
Hah! Bet you're wrong Darth... LOL
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [21 Dec 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Looking For A Demon - Part One" from DieselDriver
Review:
"something black and fast that mysteriously failed to show up on police cameras and which made radar speedometers melt."

I want one.

I was stationed at March AFB, in 1970 and back then you could drive across LA in an hour on Friday afternoon, 4 or 5 pm. I used to leave the barracks and head to my parents house up near Ventura/Ojai, and arrive in 2 hours and 10 minutes, 156 miles, in a 1963 Corvair spyder convertible. It was one of the first American made turbocharged engines at a time when the average engine was a V8 and put out about 1/2 a horsepower per cubic inch, it exceeded 1 hp/CI. It was a fun drive. Now, you'd be lucky to make it in 3 hours no matter how potentially fast your car was. If anyplace resembles a hellmouth it's Los Angeles on Friday afternoon, any freeway.
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [21 Dec 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Alternate Sunnydale - Part Six" from DieselDriver
Review:
Mommie, Mommie, make it didn't happen...
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [21 Dec 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Alternate Sunnydale - Part One" from DieselDriver
Review:
Ok, I'm confused... Sometimes people spell it "Anyanaka" and other times they spell it "Anyanka". Which one is correct?
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [21 Dec 13] • Not Rated
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