It's an interesting premise, and one I'd like to see finished, but it jumps around a bit to much. By the time I figure out where I am and what's going on we're somewhere completely different. Maybe break it down by chapter Dawn... hermione... Draco etc. and clarify the timeline a bit. Excellent idea, though. Looking forward to seeing more. Gold
Review By [TarnishedGold] • Date [16 May 06] • Rating [8 out of 10]
You have to give it to the guy, he has some points. Loyalty, and all. But sometimes loyalty must be forgotten in light of the greater good. He is stuck with another choice. Try to be what is expected of him, and try to be someone who makes the difference. I liked that part. Okay, now, who the hell is in the hospital wing? i mean, not Harry obviously (again, what happened to him?) but there must be someone! Either Ginny, Ron or Luna (Hermione seems to be fine... at least physically, and Neville was in Gryffindor) and some other rather important character... such as either another Weasley, or Lupin.
Comments from author:
Sorry just realised that I'd never explained what Draco saw. I'll post that chp next in chp 4 with an AN explaining. Thanks for writing, just keep with me!! :)
Review of chapter "The Lives You Leave Behind" from Kiara
Review:
Great start, I really like the idea. One thing, where does this come in the HP verse? A timeline at the beginning of the chapter would help a lot. Update soon! Kiara x
Review of chapter "The Lives You Leave Behind" from tals
Review:
Lovely story. I like that you take your time, and allow the gryffindors to show grief, instead of trying to get the factual stuff (how he died) out of the way within the first two sentences. It makes for a much better story, and though I'll admit to being curious about what happened, not telling us it, but instead focusing on the reactions make the characters seems more real. You have a nice tone of voice in this story, and what seems like the beginning of a fairly original plot.
Review of chapter "The Lives You Leave Behind" from Erica
Review:
INteresting plot. I really enjoyed reading this. I can't wait to see were you go with this.
Review By [Erica] • Date [19 Jan 06] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The Lives You Leave Behind" from LurkerOOl
Review:
Lookin' forward to seeing where you go with this. It will be interesting to see Dawn take over Harry's mantle, and if the occasional scooby helps, that'll be even more fun. Good job so far.
Review By [LurkerOOl] • Date [19 Jan 06] • Rating [8 out of 10]