That was absurd. As Churchill said "democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried."
You spend all that time talking about a new form of government and then you go back to one of the oldest, a hereditary king or emperor "the One" with a legislature. Not much new or even effective there. You know the Romans found out a long time ago what the problem was with hereditary leaders.
If you want Xander to be in charge because the machine has made him super human then just do it and set him up as a benevolent dictator. You can at least make an argument that is based on him literally being boosted above everyone else.
Review By [jimk] • Date [19 Mar 11] • Rating [3 out of 10]
earlier i noticed that you discounted the use of colonial battlestars cause they where to small i believe you said they where only 600metters long that is very VERY VERY wrong. Race Colonial Type Military FTL Yes Propulsion Crew Approximately 3,500 Capacity CO Admiral William Adama XO Colonel Saul Tigh Role Carrier / battleship hybrid Weapons As many as 514 dual point-defense Kinetic Energy Weapons, 24 primary dual Kinetic Energy Weapons, at least 12 missile tubes capable of firing conventional and nuclear missiles, Vipers, Raptors Armaments {{{arm}}} Status Abandoned, flown into the Sun with the Fleet Other Images More images... Dimensions Length 4720 feet (1438.64m)[1] Width 1762 feet (536.84m)[2] Height 602 feet (183.32m) Weight {{{weight}}} Wingspan {{{wingspan}}} Other The dimensions above are from Lee Stringer, who built the Galactica CG model. VFX Sequence Designer Adam "Mojo" Lebowitz gave the length as 4740 feet (1444.8m).[3] The reason for this twenty-foot discrepancy is unknown. enjoy Galactica which is 1/3 the size of the battlestar pegasus 600 meters my ass
Really enjoying the mix of technologies. I do think that more should be added about Willow and Dawn talking about the relationship they have with Xander. And a talk with Xander about the relationship. And a talk with Joyce, since as the Mom she has lots of say in the XWD dating. I want a Valkyrie; did all of the additions increase the size much? Thanks Hoping for more soon
Review By [LFW] • Date [30 Dec 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Awesome chapter. Hope you realize that their will be elements like the Trust who will do anything to prevent the world that Xan is working to create. A world that does not have currency is one they fear a world their great wealth becomes meaningless. They will do just about anything to stop Xander's vision. Vampires, demons, aliens are a minor threat compared to this as they are fellow humans. Hope Xan has contingency plans for this. The NID is but a small element. Imagine if the IRS and every despicable government trick where thrown at Xander. Bounty hunters, Tarakan assassins, and religious zealots. Enough to make him wonder if it was worth it. This is the real enemy in my opinion.
Comments from author:
That is a very good point. I would however point out that Xander and all of them don't know about the trust yet, as not even SG1 know about them arse munches... Will definately need to think about that for future chapters...
Review By [grd] • Date [29 Dec 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Sorry it took me so long to review this chapter, but I wanted to get my other reading done before I got to the good ones. This was another fantastic chapter, and I hope to see more in the future.
Review By [Selias] • Date [29 Dec 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Really great fic. They might be slightly overpowered, but I'm not one to really complain about that. It does make things rather short, but I'm not exactly one for long drawn out fights either. Then again, on the other hand, xander and the gang kind of /have to/ be more powerful than others otherwise they wouldn't be able to fight off anybody trying to take advantage. I am looking forward to seeing what else happens on the MAU front. What else they might whip up.
Review By [CageFire] • Date [27 Dec 10] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Re: You're getting just a tad to technical. I suggest going ahead and writing it all with the details but also writing a less detailed version. The less detailed version has more story than tech manual and a separate chapter devoted to only definitions and technical explanations for those interested in the details. Right now the technical details are almost drowning your story. There's a fine line between a technically correct written story and one that's more tech manual than story. Having a separate chapter or even story with all of the specs and details will allow you a little more freedom of movement and you'll get less bogged down in the details needed to explain virtually every single piece of equipment that you've got running. This is just a suggestion and as always because it is ^your^ story and ^not^ mine the final decision is yours. You have to try and occasionally take a step back and see it from the readers point of view. If you don't then all you have is a fictional manuscript and research paper centered around a plot that might possibly be considered a story. After all what are stories for? They are for many different things but in this case its most likely for the fun of it. As always enjoy yourself and if you don't like something I've told you then its your choice to either ignore it or follow it. This is ^your^ story. I have my own stories to worry about so why would I want to steal yours? *chuckle* Have fun!
Comments from author:
I hope that was a good thing? not too much detail?
I've just re-read the entire story,and I think i've picked up on a discrepancy. In ch8, Xander is going over Teal'c's observations of a Hatak's speed (approx 1ly/day (~warp 6)), and in ch10, in the travel times to Chu'lak (~warp 80).
Pleasant surprise to see an update. Have you thought about using the ds9 self replicating mine? not read other reviews so I don't know if anybody mentioned it before. crossing them with the VDA (Xander Mercenary?) would make any system too dangerous for a Goa'uld ship to enter. Cousin Bella in prison? is that a Harry Potter cross by any chance?.
Anyhow, sweet chapter, lovin it :)
Review By [michaelangelo] • Date [27 Dec 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
(Crying crokidial tires.) You updated!!!!! If you remember, I was the guy helping you with ideals! Its late here so I haved read all the new chapters yet. Will do it when I wake up in the morning. Please don't go so long next time!
Review By [AlphaBeta] • Date [27 Dec 10] • Not Rated
