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Visionary: The Rewrite

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Review of chapter "Thor and the Tarithna" from LadyFoxFire
Review:
Hey Jack is NOT small... at least in my mind he's not **shiver of pleasure** So where is Dawn? Wasn't she to join us soon?
Review By [LadyFoxFire] • Date [30 Apr 06] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Bets and bookmakers, or Hammonds Revenge" from LadyFoxFire
Review:
YES!!! I'm not the only person who think that about Teal'c staff.... His weapon not his other staff
Review By [LadyFoxFire] • Date [30 Apr 06] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "How to Ritually Dissect a Prophecy, Scooby Style" from morange
Review:
cool work, more soon please. i love how you've got everyone picking on Jack :)
Review By [morange] • Date [23 Apr 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "How to Ritually Dissect a Prophecy, Scooby Style" from (Moderator)LisaF
Review:
As you say, Oh, for heaven's sake...

Just because you have had betas flake out, doesn't mean that *you*, the author, aren't ultimately responsible for the quality of the story. I am *telling* you that you have serious problems with punctuation, and advising you on where you can go to figure out how to fix them. The fact that you don't have a beta doesn't mean that you aren't responsible for doing the absolute best that you can. It won't take that long for you to learn how to properly punctuate dialogue, and then you won't have to worry about flaky betas.
Review By [(Moderator)LisaF] • Date [23 Apr 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "How to Ritually Dissect a Prophecy, Scooby Style" from (Current Donor)romero
Review:
Thanks for the great update. I like the interaction between the two groups and their sense of humor.
Comments from author:
Thank you
Review By [(Current Donor)romero] • Date [23 Apr 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "How to Ritually Dissect a Prophecy, Scooby Style" from LadyFoxFire
Review:
So why isn't the rest of SG-1 freaked out by Willow like Jack is? Hell I think I would be.

Eternally chosen could that have something to do with Dawn? After all the Key will always see Buffy as her sister. Sisters are forever (Corny I know)
Comments from author:
Too busy laughing at the Colonel... ;)

And I'm afraid not, Dawn does show up in this fic, actually, if I remember correctly towards the end of 2: Bane of Anubis and is somewhat the focus of 3: Slayer Hunting but she is not what the Slayer is referring to when 'Eternally choosen' is used.

As far as Dawn is concerned, think 'must be tuesday'
Review By [LadyFoxFire] • Date [23 Apr 06] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Big Bads" from (Moderator)LisaF
Review:
I think the thing that surprised me about this rewrite is that you haven't found a grammar/punctuation beta to work with. If you are rewriting because you want this story to be the best it possibly can be, I highly recommend that you go back and edit this new version for punctuation. Specifically, you want to review the proper use of periods and commas in dialogue. You might find the following websites helpful:
http://www.authorinresidence.ecsd.net/Dialogue%20Punctuation.htm
http://www.writing-world.com/fiction/dialogue.shtml
Comments from author:
Oh, for heavens sakes...

*cuts and pastes standard response*

"Sorry, but it should be noted that this story is unbetad, I'm afraid I've had far too many beta's flake out, either by taking months to pass back changes, insisting on saying the spellings are wrong just because they aren't in their particular version of English and the like to go searching for betas anymore"
Review By [(Moderator)LisaF] • Date [23 Apr 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Big Bads" from LadyFoxFire
Review:
Yes you're right this is my first time reading this fic.

Ok I think it's safe to assume that the rest of SG-1 hasn't seen the vidoe of Darth Willow since they're teasing Jack about his reaction of her... is that right? And if it is when do they get to learn about her?
Comments from author:
SG-1 and Hammond are briefed about the Scooby's and that includes Darth Willow in chapter 5

okay, well, dont forget Part Two Bane of Anubis and 3 Slayer Hunting are up and complete.

no plans for a part 4 at the moment
Review By [LadyFoxFire] • Date [23 Apr 06] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Xander at the Gate" from LadyFoxFire
Review:
So when does Willow show up? I figure she would want to check up on her friends or maybe deliver Dawn to Buffy
Comments from author:
Heh, somebody who hasnt read the original version ;)

no worries, Willow will be coming
Review By [LadyFoxFire] • Date [22 Apr 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Xander at the Gate" from (Current Donor)romero
Review:
I like the expanded story. I can't wait for Willow to visit.
Comments from author:
thank you
Review By [(Current Donor)romero] • Date [22 Apr 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "4: Explanations" from Laith
Review:
wow!

love the rewrite so far.

nice expansion of details while maintaining the flow and feel of the original story.
Comments from author:
thank you
Review By [Laith] • Date [21 Apr 06] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "4: Explanations" from RevDorothyL
Review:
Enjoying this new version very much. It seems to move along much faster than the first version I remember reading. Please keep it coming, inspiration permitting.
Comments from author:
well, Visionary was the one of the first two fics i started work on and in the original version, well, that inexperience comes through clearly

I'd like to think I had improved since then
Review By [RevDorothyL] • Date [19 Apr 06] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "4: Explanations" from LadyFoxFire
Review:
Interesting so far. I like how you cover up the plot problem of them accepting Buffy so easily
Comments from author:
I did a lot of expansion on that over the origianl version.

thanks for the comments
Review By [LadyFoxFire] • Date [18 Apr 06] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "4: Explanations" from kiwi
Review:
i like it so far. humorous moments. :)
Comments from author:
heh, humour was the original point....
Review By [kiwi] • Date [18 Apr 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "4: Explanations" from arkeus
Review:
nice.
not too shabbily written, either. And the chapters get bigger. Now i hope the big guns are coming :-)
Comments from author:
thank you
Review By [arkeus] • Date [18 Apr 06] • Not Rated
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