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Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from RoxyJ
Review:
pleeeease finish this one???

I wanna see willow kick winchester ass :D

I'm hooked!

Great story!
Review By [RoxyJ] • Date [13 Jun 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from Chosenfire
Review:
I like this story so far, interesting. hough I have noticed a lot of it doesn't make sense with the Buffy timeline and Tories connection with the scoobies. Also is it just me or did it seem like Torie had a thing going on with Connor, that would be great.
Review By [Chosenfire] • Date [12 Jun 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from FrancesSable
Review:
Good job. You totally have my attention.
Review By [FrancesSable] • Date [12 Jun 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from arkeus
Review:
Ah, depth is coming, i see :-)
Good work overall, hope the winchesters do not overreact.
Review By [arkeus] • Date [12 Jun 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from arkeus
Review:
Ah, depth is coming, i see :-)
Good work overall, hope the winchesters do not overreact.
Review By [arkeus] • Date [12 Jun 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from lexas
Review:
I loved it so far can't wait to hear more. Please continue.
Review By [lexas] • Date [12 Jun 06] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from jossisboss
Review:
Well done, please continue soon.
Review By [jossisboss] • Date [12 Jun 06] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from DoctorDavros
Review:
Hi,
Very much enjoying the story (and the quick updates !)
Thanks...
Review By [DoctorDavros] • Date [12 Jun 06] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from DoctorDavros
Review:
Hi,
Very much enjoying the story (and the quick updates !)
Thanks...
Review By [DoctorDavros] • Date [12 Jun 06] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from littleoldme
Review:
It's well-written, no question about that, but Torie seems to be a bit of a Mary Sue. She's related to Dean and Sam, and near and dear (with relatively little explanation) to all of the Scooby Gang, plus Angel and company. She gets visions, can read minds, and can heal, giving her more power than anyone in the Supernaturalverse, and most of the Buffyverse characters. She's sassy and smart and, thus far, has been given very few faults. That's pretty much the definition of a Mary Sue.

That said, for a Mary Sue fic, it's a good one. You've managed to keep Dean and Sam in character, and like I said before, you write well. I think the biggest problem with the fic thus far is the number of powers you've given Tori, and the fact that the explanation for how Torie knows the Scooby Gang is a little flimsy. Okay, so somehow Torie's grandmother managed to contact Giles's nephew? And Giles's nephew (who we've also never heard about on the show) somehow thought it was a good idea to get in touch with Giles about a seer? Why? And then Torie started spending summers in Sunnydale? Why would they feel compelled to invite her? Why has Adrien dedicated so much of his life to her? There's a lot of gaps here, and it really reads like a pretty blatant insertion. Giles has never invited anyone to stay with him. In the beginning, he was even against Xander and Willow being involved, and he didn't exactly mentor Willow about magic. From early season five, we know that he found Dawn to be more or less a pain in the butt. So why would he invite another kid to come to Sunnydale? Given the fact that Dawn wasn't ACTUALLY there when the girls were little, you have Giles inviting a nine year old to the mouth of hell to hang out with a bunch of people much older than she is, which is more than a little unbelievable.
Comments from author:
Thanks for your honesty =D And believe it or not, I was thinking a lot of the same things about the fic and how I was portraying Torie. I wrote the first part of this a long time ago and hadn't really thought it through before I posted it. It is mostly an AU for a lot of things, including some of the BTVS relationships. As for the sudden connection to the Sunnydale crew, I haven't really gotten to the explaination point in the story =) I was waiting for the Dean and Sam Hellmouth talk. I'm going to do some changes (hopefully good ones that will make the story a bit better). Thanks for taking the time to review! It really means a lot to me to get feedback, especially if it includes pointers on how to make the fic better.
Review By [littleoldme] • Date [11 Jun 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from danimc
Review:
Oh snap. They're gonna get their arses kicked royally. Lol, oh man, I love it. Please, ya gotta update soon. Please?
Review By [danimc] • Date [11 Jun 06] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One *revised*" from Eshe
Review:
Love the start, cant wait to see how things end up
Review By [Eshe] • Date [11 Jun 06] • Rating [8 out of 10]
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