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Xander and the Himalaya Fortress Fantasy Hotel

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Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Nyn
Review:
Ooooo! Wasn't expecting that! Xander seems like he just impressed daddy. Crossing my fingers that things go well for him. More soon please!
Comments from author:
Well, between "Military Guy" and the Hyena in his head, Ra's is sure to be a bit impressed. (If you were Ra's wouldn't you like a son whom can fight and plan strategy and tactics like a special ops soldier?) Xander may be "the Zeppo" but I think he's a bit underestimated.

(Like Jack O'Neill out of Stargate. You know the character has brains, but they're well hidden.)

Xander did some amazing stuff for a regular human (building bombs at graduation, stealing a rocket launcher) but I think Xander kind of underestimates his own abilities. In RL he would have been considered (at least) a emtionally or verbally abused child. My opinion, while Xander can perform under stress, he considers himself the 'useless' one because he heard it from his parents so much, so most of the time he'll act like a big goof.

I'm sort of working on the rest of the story. Not quite sure how I'll go on this. It won't be overly dark. I'm still working on my overall plot and story.

Thanks for reading!
(^_^)/
BEM
Review By [Nyn] • Date [21 Jul 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from KingHenrytheV
Review:
Cute. I like this rendition, and wouldn't mind seeing more. Slightly OOC, but not too bad.
Comments from author:
Thanks for reading and reviewing. OOC how where? You can alway e-mail with helpful critiques.

(^_^)/
BEM
Review By [KingHenrytheV] • Date [21 Jul 06] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from wraiths
Review:
I love it. The last line "{Ewww... I was nekkid and groping my sister.}" is so Xander. This has the making of a great story or a one shot. If it is a one shot please let us know.
Comments from author:
I heard that line the moment I started the story.

I am thinking of continuing this. I just need to work on my overall story more.

Thanks for reading.
(^_^)/
BEM
Review By [wraiths] • Date [21 Jul 06] • Rating [4 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Thewander
Review:
I like it, but at least this time Xan doesnt have to worry about the girl trying eat him
Review By [Thewander] • Date [21 Jul 06] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Trom
Review:
Actually this would make for an interesting series not just a one shot. I didn;t even think about this match up. Just imagine Rath trying to make Xander more like the Detective. Or even better Xander talking to him about his intent with Xander's new sister. Shovel anyone?
Liked it. Hope for more.
Comments from author:
Oh, I should continue this. I'm sort of thinking about it. It's more like I see drabbles and vignettes in my head but not quite sure on how smooth my plot is. I want to bring in portal!Dawn and what were to happen if she fell in Ra's pit. I know I need to work on my overall story more.

OTOH, mmmm.... Xander giving someone the shovel talk. There are few folks in Talia's world whom could use the shovel talk. Her father and Bruce spring to mind. Xander might not have enough shovels.

Thanks for reading.
(^_^)/
BEM
Review By [Trom] • Date [21 Jul 06] • Not Rated
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