You talked to me first

title: I Have Never Felt Your Fear
warning: language and sexual sit.
disclaimer: I own none of them. They belong to a Lady named Rowling and her beautiful mind. I just like to borrow to amuse myself until she gets on to the book 6 of it all.
note: Goyle is WAY out OOC. I'm completely aware. Thanks. Luna might be a bit... off as well.

Written pre-HBP. Please keep that in mind while reading. ALSO, this fic was finished back in July of 2004. It was started just after OotP came out... way before JK made it known that Ginny's name was Ginevra. I *might* go back and correct this one day. MIGHT. However, there's no need to point out that it's Ginevra not Virginia. I'm aware. Thanks.


*~*~*~*

Hot water poured in rivets down him, washing the mud away. Draco Malfoy hated playing quidditch in the rain. He hated playing Gryffindor in the rain. He plain just hated playing Gryffindor. He had last year, and this year looked to be no different.

The girl weasel was just as vicious.

He never should have picked on her. Ever. She'd gotten mean in her fourth year. Mean and pretty. It was deadly combination. He loved mean and pretty in a girl. Too bad she was a weasel. She'd knocked him off his broom. Again. In the mud no less. It had been her favorite thing to do last term. She led Gryffindor in penalties. Last year she'd even hurled herself off her broom at him. The little redheaded witch had some sort of personal vendetta. It had all started in his fifth year when she'd place that horrid bat bogey hex on him. Little viper was just as good at her hexes as he was. She might even be better. She'd discovered her liking for hexing him.

And she laughed off his insults. Her favorite thing to say was 'Malfoy, surely you can do better than that?' in a reproachful tone that suggested she was mightily disappointed in him. Draco had even suggested recently that she was whorish in her way of going through the boys of the school. She had dated just about everyone fifth year and up in Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Gryffindor, never Slytherins though. He just didn't understand her.

She never let any of them do more than kiss her... so the rumors were. Her brother had hit the only moron to even try, and that was after the girl weasel had walloped him into next week for even attempting.

She was a pill.

So how come his thoughts turned to her at least five times every day? Dammit.


"Have you heard?" Goyle said in his low and menacing baritone.

Draco looked up at him. The great idiot was not the great idiot everyone thought him to be. Greg Goyle was just a man of few words. Laconic, so it were. Sure, he wasn't the brightest star in the heavens, but he'd been improved upon. A lot of his baby fat had melted into simple mass. Giving him the appearance of someone who had giant in their blood. He studied a bit more, and he and Draco got along a bit better.

"Heard what, Greg?"

"Weasley's finally found herself a Slytherin to snog."

"What? Who?"

"Davis."

"Davis?!"

Several people in the common room turned to glare for the outburst. Draco glared back. They quickly turned back to what they had been doing before.

"Davis? That nancy boy pillock?"

Goyle chuckled.

"Not that there's anything wrong with being a nancy, mind you, but Davis is an idiot. And he has a girl's name."

"I wouldn't be saying anything about someone's name... Draco."

Draco glared. "You know if we weren't friends..."

"You'd glare at me real hard... oh wait..."

"You know, I think I liked you better when you didn't have a sense of humor."

Goyle chuckled again. "No you didn't."

"You're right." Draco sat back on the sofa they were on. "Tracey Davis though? Why that prat?"

"When she could have you instead?"

"Shut up."

"Don't think I haven't noticed."

"Just shut your hole."

Goyle started snickering. "Why don't you just go up to her, Malfoy? If you stand about waiting for her to notice you, it'll never happen."

Draco glared. "In case you haven't noticed, she DOES notice me."

"Well, the next time she tries to knock you off your broom, take her with you and ask her out on the way down."

Draco rolled his eyes and folded him arms across his chest. For being such a big hulk of a guy, Greg Goyle certainly had romantic ideas about life. If Draco tried to take Ginny Weasley off her broom, she'd wallop him. He had not doubts about that. Fairly difficult to ask a girl out when one was unconscious. Not that he would. She was a Weasley.


The Gryffindor quidditch team was huddled around the fireplace in their common room listening to their captain talk.

"This is going to sound terribly funny coming from me..." Harry began. "But Ginny, could you leave Malfoy alone."

The rest of the quidditch team gaped at Harry.

"What?"

"You're a chaser, Gin. Do that please."

Seamus Finnigan, also a seventh year and a beater, snorted with laughter. "She is, Potter. She is. She's chasing Malfoy."

"Finnigan!" Their keeper Ron Weasley snapped. "My sister would never have the bad form to chase a Malfoy."

Ginny's eyes glinted hard at her brother. "Oh really."

"Ginny..."

"You know it had never occurred to me to think of the pasty ferret-y git as anything other than a punching bag, but I just might have to make an exception in this case. Just for you, Ron."

Harry sighed. "Please don't start."

Ginny and Ron had been getting in some terrific rows since she started having boyfriends in her fourth year.

"What about Davis?" Ron snapped, ignoring Harry's plea.

"What about him?"

"How's he going to feel with you chasing after Malfoy?"

"Not a lot considering he's gay."

"Your boyfriend's gay?"

"Who said he was my boyfriend? Tracey and I are just friends."

Dean Thomas perked up at that. "Really? Wanna go to Hogsmeade with me next weekend then?"

Ron glared at him.

"Thanks Dean, but um, I already have a date."

Dean nodded. He and Ginny had had one of those wild on again off again relationships since the summer before her fifth year.

"You've a date? With WHO?" Ron shouted.

"Ron..." Harry said.

"Not that it's ANY of you business, Ronald, but it's Luna."

Ron's jaw dropped. "You're dating girls now?" He whispered scandalously.

Ginny laughed out loud at his stricken expression. She knew the thought running foremost through his mind was 'what is Mum gonna think?'.

"Ron, no. Not that sort of date." She chuckled again. "Luna and I haven't hung out in a while, so I promised her no boys." She laughed again. "You thought...." Ginny paused to cackle some more. "Not that there's anything wrong with Luna. She's gorgeous. I just like boys more than girls is all. You're such a prude, Ron. No wonder Hermione's sexually frustrated."

"Oy!"

"Now that's enough!" Harry bellowed. There was an odd sort of angry glint in his eyes.

Ron was glaring at Ginny. Ginny was glaring right back. Harry looked about ready to hex them both, so Seamus Finnigan took it up himself to start laughing. Loudly.


It was a nice bright day when Draco and Goyle rounded a corner in the dungeons to see Ginny Weasley and Pansy Parkinson with their wands trained on one another.

"Oh hell." Goyle muttered.

Draco straightened and made sure his prefect's badge was showing. "What is the meaning of this?"

Pansy jumped a good foot in the air and let out a hex. Weasley dropped and rolled to avoid it. Draco was stunned for a moment by the redhead's literal grace under fire.

Goyle stepped around Pansy and grabbed her wrist in a harsh grip as she was about to send another hex in Weasley's direction. "Don't get yourself in more trouble, Parkinson."

"I'll ask again." Draco snapped. "What the devil is going on?"

"Isn't it obvious, Malfoy." Ginny snapped as she got to her feet. "Me and the dog-faced girl were about to throw down."

"You little bitch!" Pansy said struggling against the two meaty arms holding her back.

"Bitch, am I?" Ginny said calmly. "When you're the one with a face like a pug?"

Pansy let out this feral screeching sound that made the hair on the back of Draco's neck stand on end as she tried to point her wand at Weasley. Goyle was the stronger though, so Pansy could not manage it.

Ginny had her wand pointed at the other girl. "No, Goyle, let her go."

Draco sighed and reached out to lower Weasley's wand arm. She glared and jerked away when he went to touch her.

"What is the meaning of this?" A cold voice snapped from the end of the hallway.

Ginny's stomach dropped to her knees. Snape. She was detention-bound for sure.

"That's just what I was trying to discover, sir. Goyle and I rounded the corner to see Weasley and Parkinson in the midst of what looked like a very serious duel."

Ginny blinked. Had he just told the truth? Malfoy?

"Mister Goyle will you please unhand Miss Parkinson? I highly doubt she would be foolish enough to hex Miss Weasley with myself standing here."

Goyle moved a bit, but then looked at Draco to make sure. Malfoy nodded in an insistent manner. No need for Snape to go noticing that Goyle would sooner take a lead from Draco than him. But Snape HAD noticed. He was looking from one to the other with a raised brow. Draco would be questioned later. He could feel it. Dammit. He wasn't ready for Snape to have figured out that both himself and Greg Goyle were smarter than they looked. Not ready by half.

Ginny had noticed the whole exchange as well. She was quite baffled that Goyle didn't follow blindly, but looked to Malfoy for guidance. Interesting. She had always though the big gorilla of a Slytherin was rather dimwitted, but Ginny could see light in his eyes for that brief moment when Malfoy had been nodding at him. Goyle wasn't dumb. That was a bit of a shock for Ginny.

"Miss Parkinson, kindly wait for me in my office." Snape hissed.

"But-"

"Now!"

Pansy jumped and rushed off. Snape turned his glare onto Ginny. Now while he didn't scare the bejesus out of her like he had her first two years here, his evil death stare could still make her feel a little weak in constitution.

"Now..." He paused to glare down at her. "What do I do with you?"

Ginny swallowed back a giggle. She was more than certain he had not meant for that to come out so suggestive, but to her six-brother-warped mind it came out all sorts of naughty.

"Do I amuse you, Miss Weasley?"

"No. Actually I kind of want to pee myself in nervous fear half the times you address me." Oh great Merlin! Had she really just said that aloud? What was wrong with her?! Of all the people to get sarcastic and mouthy with.

Goyle choked out some laughter that was cut short by Snape whipping to face him.

"I think perhaps I should escort you to Professor McGonagall and let her deal with your dueling."

"Goyle and I could do that, sir." Draco offered.

Snape pinned him with a look. When he finally spoke, his voice dripped with his most acidic brand of sarcasm. "Oh yes, because Professor McGonagall will certainly believe the two of you."

Ginny giggled but covered it quickly with coughing when Snape's beady black eyes shot once again in her direction.

"Come along, Miss Weasley."

Ginny sighed and fell into step with Snape. He seemed amazed that she could keep up, but it had only flickered on his face for a second. Ginny knew she was fast. She made it a point to be. Six older brothers? If you didn't keep up, you were certainly left behind. Malfoy and Goyle had fallen into step behind Ginny and Snape.

Malfoy stepped on the back of her shoe. Ginny turned and shot him the look of hers that usually made the first years wet themselves in fear. He smirked at her. She curled her lip into a snarl before hurrying to catch Snape's pace once again. The potion master's face was quite blank, but for some reason Ginny got the distinct impression that she had just amused him somehow.


Detention.

McGonagall had been most put out with her. Even after Ginny explained that she could not just 'turn the other cheek' when Parkinson had made her little incestuous insinuation about Ron. McGonagall had been horrified, but she still insisted that Ginny should have taken the higher ground and not indulged in a duel.

Ginny was inclined to disagree. But she wasn't gonna make too big of a fuss. She didn't want any more than five days of detention. Tonight she was set to clean the cages that McGonagall kept in her class. Ginny didn't want to have to clean anything else. Those cages were bad enough. It would probably take her two nights worth of detentions to clean them all by her onesy. Ginny had to wonder why an animagus whose form was feline kept birds anyhow. Bit dodgy if you asked Ginny.

As she entered the Transfiguration classroom, Ginny stopped short. She was not to be alone for her detention tonight. Gregory Goyle was already cleaning a cage.

"Well, don't just stand there staring, Miss Weasley. Roll up your sleeves and get to work."

Ginny sighed and shrugged out of her school robe. She took off her gray school jumper and loosened her Gryffindor tie before unbuttoning the top button on her white blouse. She grabbed the soapy bucket of water and the sponge McGonagall offered her and plopped down at the cage next to the one Goyle was already working on. Ginny had to wonder what the Slytherin boy had done. Hermione had mentioned once that Goyle got detentions with McGonagall a lot.

"Mister Goyle." McGonagall said.

He looked up.

"Come here."

Goyle joined McGonagall and the two of them started some whispered conversation over a piece of parchment that McGonagall had in her hands. Ginny strained to hear what was being said, but she had cleaned too many cages and was too far at the other end of the classroom. She seemed shocked when McGonagall smiled and gave the Slytherin boy's shoulder a friendly pat. Goyle grinned at the professor before looking at Ginny. She studiously went back to her washing. Had she really just seen that? McGonagall and a Slytherin?

It wasn't too long after that Goyle was back to washing. Ginny kept stealing glances at him from under her lashes.

"Oh dear." McGonagall sighed.

Ginny looked up. The professor was holding a note and a house elf was standing next to her. Dobby the house elf. Ginny waved a him. Dobby bowed dramatically at her.

"I do hope I can trust the both of you for a while. I have to go 'round the infirmary and see about Miss McDonald."

Ginny's stomach lurched. "Natalie?" Ginny was quite fond of her fellow chaser. "What happened? Is she ok?"

"She was hit quite hard with a bludger during quidditch practice. Took a blow to the head, I'm afraid."

Goyle winced.

"But-"

"I don't know if she's all right yet, Miss Weasley. That's what I was going to check."

Ginny's brow furrowed, and she wrung her hands nervously.

"I will hurry back and let you know."

Ginny nodded and went back to her cleaning, Her hands were shaking something awful. Poor Natalie.

"She'll be all right."

Ginny was startled to hear Goyle's low rumble of a voice echo through the classroom. "Wh-what?"

"I've been hit in the head with a bludger loads of times. I mean , some blokes aren't natural beaters. I had to practice. That meant getting hit... a lot."

Ginny was dumfounded. Why on earth was he speaking to her at all, let alone seemingly trying to reassure her that Nat was all right?

"Nevermind." He mumbled.

"No! I mean, er... thanks."

He grinned at her. The guy had a different face when he did that.

"So..." Ginny said as she continued cleaning the cage she was working on. "You know what I did to get detention. What did you do?"

Goyle looked at her in shock. "Why are you talking to me?"

"You talked to me first."

Goyle chuckled. No wonder Malfoy had a crush on her. She was feisty. "Nothing."

"Huh?"

"Don't go spreading it about, not that anyone would believe you anyhow, but I didn't do anything."

"McGonagall wouldn't give someone detention for NOTHING." Ginny snapped hotly.

"She would if he asked her to."

Ginny blinked. "What?"

"Surely you have noticed or had it pointed out to you how bright I am not, Weasley. Some of us have to work really damn hard at not getting left back a year like Flint."

"I..." Ginny didn't know what to say. "I don't know what to say."

"I thought that was my line."

Ginny snickered despite herself. Having a conversation with Goyle... Goyle actually having a sense of humor.

"Look, not that anyone would believe you, so that's why I'm telling, but I happen to like Transfiguration, but I'm terrible at it. McGonagall's a good professor. She'll help anyone who asks her... no matter what house they're in."

"Why don't you talk more often? I mean, obviously you aren't as dim as you pretend, so why the act?"

"Sort of easy to drift along if people think you're incapable of the simplest task. Certain things are NOT expected of you. I don't say a word. I keep my face blank like I don't get it when others speak. I learned that early on."

"But-"

"Think about it, Weasley. Use that big brave Gryffindor brain and ask yourself what happens to really clever Slytherins when they get on to about eighteen."

Ginny blinked. "The dark mark.... but you could have just told Dumbledore..."

"What makes you think I haven't?"

Ginny blinked. This was so weird. "So... let me get this straight, McGonagall pretends to give you detention so you can study a bit extra?"

"Yes."

Ginny frowned. "But cleaning out the cages isn't studying."

"Well, it needed to be done."

Ginny's frown deepened.

"Look, Weasley, not that anyone would believe you if you went to blabbing, but I happen to have a healthy appreciation for McGonagall, so if she asks me to do something... no matter how gross... I will. Not all Slytherins are insufferable gits who think the world owes them something. Not all of us are above a little manual labor."

This just wasn't getting any less bizarre.

And he was right. Even if she did decide to tell anyone about him, they would never believe her. Not even Luna, and Luna believed almost everything.


"I need to talk to you."

Luna squeaked and dropped the latest edition of The Quibbler on the Ravenclaw table as Ginny Weasley roughly hauled her out of her seat.

"Ginny." Luna patted her hair absently to make sure the redhead's rough haul hadn't dislodged her wand.

Ginny dragged Luna to a far corner of the great hall. "I had detention last night-"

"I know. For dueling with Parky. Did you win?"

"Luna..."

Luna giggled. "I'm sorry, but it's just too funny."

"What is?"

"Parkinson thinking she's a match for you."

Ginny smiled and half hugged her girlfriend. "Luna, you're too crazy."

"I know. Loony Lovegood."

"Luna, don't call yourself that."

"Why not?"

"Luna..."

"All right." Luna said in a sing song voice. "So what did you want to tell me about detention?"

"You won't believe it."

"Try me."


"I don't believe it."

Luna was leaning against the wall next to the entrance to the library where she and Ginny had started heading as the Gryffindor begun her tale.

"I just..."

"I know."

"This is going to sound weird coming from me, but that's so bizarre, Ginny."

"I know. I don't know what to think about it."

"Don't."

"Huh?"

"Don't think about it unless something comes of it. Maybe he ate that weird plum pudding at dinner last night. I thought it smelled strange."

Ginny rolled her eyes as the two of them shoved into the library. "You give crap advice, Lovegood."

"Yet you always come to me. What does that say about you, Gin?" Luna raised one pale eyebrow.

"That Hufflepuffs aren't the only loyal ones."

Luna just smiled her cryptic little grin.


Ginny took a facer into her potions text.

Luna started snickering. Madam Pince shot them a dirty look.

"That desperate for a snog, Weasley? Kissing your book?"

Ginny and Luna looked up to see Pansy Parkinson hovering over them like a little black raincloud.

"Is that the best you could do, Parkinson?" Ginny sighed and shook her head.

"Why you-"

A large hand clamped over her mouth. Ginny looked up in shock. Luna's eyes were even wider than usual. Gregory Goyle nodded at Ginny.

"Haven't you gotten in enough trouble with Weasley, Parkinson?" Goyle hissed as he steered the Slytherin girl away from them.

Luna's mouth was gaping just as wide as Ginny was as they turned to look at one another with their saucer-like eyes.

"Perhaps you might want to give this thing some thought after all, Ginny."


Ginny was rushing to her detention. She and Luna had stayed too long in the great hall after supper. She was gonna be late. McGonagall couldn't abide by tardiness. Ginny turned a corner swiftly and crashed into someone. The two of them went sprawling. Whoever it was had been carrying as many books and scrolls as Hermione on a study date. Parchment showered everywhere.

Ginny was laying on top of someone. "I'm so terribly sorry."

She lifted the piece of parchment on said person's face and was shocked to see Malfoy's sneer. Ginny gasped in horror.

"Thanks a lot, weaselgirl. Your nickname grace or some rot?"

Ginny had never moved so fast without being on a broom. She scrambled off of Malfoy like he was dipped in Hippogryff dung. She was completely horrified... because he'd felt good. Why on earth did Draco Malfoy wear such loose robes? Even his quidditch robes didn't show this off.... and he should. All the times she'd knocked into him, and Ginny had never noticed how... sculpted he was, for lack of a better word. There were definitely a few things worth some serious exploration under Draco Malfoy's robes. So... horror on her part.

"Is that why you always knock into me during quidditch matches, muggle-lover? Just that clumsy? Though if I had legs and arms like yours, I suppose I might be a bit gawky and clumsy as well."

He was hunched over gathering his books and papers. If it had been anyone else, Ginny would have helped. Instead she gave him a mighty kick to the hip as soon as she got to her feet for the twit about her legs and arms. She'd show him how powerful her 'gawky and clumsy' legs were. Draco howled in pain as he was knocked on his side. Ginny took off running without even a backwards glance. When she was safely out of his reach, Ginny chanced a look at him. He was still sitting on the floor rubbing his hip. The look on his face promised retribution. Painful retribution.

A shiver ran down her spine as she turned once again and hurried off to her detention. Now she was really late. McGonagall was gonna be upset, and that was never a good thing. But that was nothing compared to Draco Malfoy apparently being out for revenge against her now. Strangely that made her more uneasy than an angry McGonagall. What was up with that?

*~*

end part 1